[ He nods at Alucard's recounting of Carmilla's crimes. He doesn't really want to think of the experiences as similar. He wasn't alone the way Alucard was. Nobody was deliberately hurting him, not after the initial bite. He was just- sick. In a horrible way, but it was so easy in comparison. Nothing that feels like it deserves any of this. ]
It was easier, while I was still recovering. It was just the shitty side of my neck, and I can barely feel anything there. But it bothered me, so I avoided letting things rub against it. And then it started bothering me more, because I was avoiding it, and-
[ -and sometime between then and now, it got out of control. He hates this. It feels like confessing a sin, admitting to being so weak that he can't bear a few scary thoughts ]
It used to just be that I couldn't breathe. [ 'Just.' ] Now I feel the inside of my head cracking. I can hear it. Every time. It's a fucking miracle it's yet to happen on a full stomach, I doubt I'd keep any of it down.
no subject
[ He nods at Alucard's recounting of Carmilla's crimes. He doesn't really want to think of the experiences as similar. He wasn't alone the way Alucard was. Nobody was deliberately hurting him, not after the initial bite. He was just- sick. In a horrible way, but it was so easy in comparison. Nothing that feels like it deserves any of this. ]
It was easier, while I was still recovering. It was just the shitty side of my neck, and I can barely feel anything there. But it bothered me, so I avoided letting things rub against it. And then it started bothering me more, because I was avoiding it, and-
[ -and sometime between then and now, it got out of control. He hates this. It feels like confessing a sin, admitting to being so weak that he can't bear a few scary thoughts ]
It used to just be that I couldn't breathe. [ 'Just.' ] Now I feel the inside of my head cracking. I can hear it. Every time. It's a fucking miracle it's yet to happen on a full stomach, I doubt I'd keep any of it down.