[ Alucard's face is filling his entire vision right now and it's terribly overwhelming. He's figured out how to react to warmth, how to react to warmth even when he can't just make a stupid comment to shrug it off. This is too much. This is him being looked at the way he looks at Sypha and Alucard when they're too busy talking about some magic bullshit to see him. Being looked at in that way that it's only really fair to look at people when they can't see you because what the fuck is he supposed to do with a face that bright and lovely and perfect? ]

I needed something to keep me busy. [ What he does in the end is to busy his head in Alucard's shoulder, because he can't fucking talk while looking at that face. It's too much. His heart might just burst. And- it is true what he's saying. Because at least the first week of his recovery wasn't spent working, just on sitting here and processing everything once the adrenaline was gone, and keeping busy was an excellent way to keep him from going too far into his own head. ] You know how I get when I'm not doing anything. It seemed as good a thing to work on as any.