[ He stares at Alucard, and he is so close to understanding. He does understand, for just a moment. And then he snatches the answer away from himself, because that's fucking presumptuous and ungrateful.

So no, he doesn't understand. Won't let himself. ]

I'll- [ And so he doesn't know how to answer. ] -I'll miss you both at the end of this.

[ Wait, no. That was the wrong thing to say. He shakes his head, mumbling something very insulting aimed at himself in french, and tries again. ]

I need to sleep, I think. Fucking parties always suck the life out of me.