Right. Shit. Inconvenient. Shouldn't hurry it along. I don't know what I'd do if she did call me back. I don't want to leave. Really don't know what I'd do if she sent help. Don't think they'd care for the- situation being as it is. Maybe it's for the best she doesn't write.

[ He's running out of steam, still shaking, but voice slowing. He's not falling asleep, more going still and unresponsive. His weight is entirely against Alucard now, face buried in his chest. It doesn't feel like the cloth of speaker robes, but it's still there. There to babble into, the way he used to do when he was too drunk.

Just now he's too sober. ]

I'm tired, Arn. I wouldn't be seeing you if I wasn't tired. It's easier, being close to them. But then it's harder, knowing I'm going to fuck it all up. I've not had so much to lose since we last spoke.