Hmm-

[ He thinks about that, carefully dodging things that might be too emotional. ]

I want to go to winter markets with you both, and we get hot wine from a stall to keep our hands warm and all use one too-big scarf between us. And to take you on one of the trains that goes across the continent and cuts through the tulip fields and watch as it changes from one colour as far as the eye can see to another and the colour reflected in her eyes changes while she stares out of the window. I want to take you back to the town where I went to school, and see you try to deal with a whole town where there's only one car. Or show you the museums that they turned into makeshift hospitals in Paris. The centuries-old libraries that she'd die to see but that I just used to track down your father. I want to show you both all the beautiful places I was too drunk or stupid or miserable to appreciate, because you would care.

[ A sigh. Maybe it did get a little emotional. He sips at his too thick, sugar-dusted hot chocolate. ]

I want to do everything again, but knowing I'd find you both. I wish I'd known you from the start. I think I'd be a better person, if I had.