[She doesn't mean to tense up, but she does. It's as though a stray thread in her left loose somewhere is suddenly grasped and pulled, and everything in her stitching abruptly goes too-tight because of it. She was relaxed a minute ago, and sleepy, and even content. But then he speaks, and she processes what he says, and even though she knows he's right about its veracity, she can't stop the way she reacts.
This will always happen again, he says. And maybe it's just that it's still so soon, that the marks on her arms are still there and she still sometimes reels from the realization that it's mattress beneath her rather than floorboards, but it leaves her afraid despite her best efforts, as though again is synonymous with now and she's about to be thrown back into that pit, even though she knows rationally that it burned behind them.
She doesn't realize that her breathing has gone ragged, or that she's pulled in on herself like a wounded animal despite their sleeping Alucard's best efforts to stay holding her.]
You are very bad at making me feel better.
[It's supposed to be a joke, maybe. Possibly. Except it's raw and it's sad and what little humor she can manage to scrape together isn't really enough to carry it.]
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This will always happen again, he says. And maybe it's just that it's still so soon, that the marks on her arms are still there and she still sometimes reels from the realization that it's mattress beneath her rather than floorboards, but it leaves her afraid despite her best efforts, as though again is synonymous with now and she's about to be thrown back into that pit, even though she knows rationally that it burned behind them.
She doesn't realize that her breathing has gone ragged, or that she's pulled in on herself like a wounded animal despite their sleeping Alucard's best efforts to stay holding her.]
You are very bad at making me feel better.
[It's supposed to be a joke, maybe. Possibly. Except it's raw and it's sad and what little humor she can manage to scrape together isn't really enough to carry it.]