The first time that Sypha and Trevor left the castle in the aftermath of Dracula's demise (defeat, murder), Alucard had explored the depths of his grief. Alone, he could be as much a monster as his father, throw things around, tear, rend, destroy in an attempt to purge the waves of emotion that rolled off of him. It was better that no one else was around to witness the actions, for surely they would take one look and proclaim "like father, like son."
That anger was followed by tears, and so it went on and on. In the in between moments, Alucard focused his attention to the castle and the Hold. Neither were inhabitable, and Trevor and Sypha would be back at some point. They'd need a wing of the castle to stay in, and so Alucard began rebuilding in the most literal way.
Work channeled so much. Freed his mind to focus on the less overwhelming but equally important feelings that lay beneath the surface. Alucard found himself wondering when the other two would come back. That? That was a path to longing, and then the realization that there was a deep and abiding love for them both.
Sypha was the one who kept them all on track after, negotiation and navigating emotional waters that neither he nor Trevor were good at exploring. Trevor had years of trauma and walls to break down. Alucard's problems were mercifully obvious, and so the name of it all became balance.
He had grown up around parents who were overly affectionate with each other. There were such vivid memories of his father walking into a room where his mother was reading on the sofa and just settling right in beside her. Or scooting her onto his lap. He had seen them kiss a little too much. In theory? In theory Alucard knew what he should be doing.
Be should and practicing? Two different things.
Alucard knew that change only comes from dedicated effort. It was a matter on his mind when he awoke, and why he remained in bed next to Sypha rather than roll out and go to make breakfast. Somewhere in all of that, the scars on her upper arm captured his attention, and then? Then a mind still mired in grief took over.
"Almost eleven," was the response, said in barely a whisper. "Trevor's gone out hunting, he thought he saw wild boar tracks yesterday."
no subject
That anger was followed by tears, and so it went on and on. In the in between moments, Alucard focused his attention to the castle and the Hold. Neither were inhabitable, and Trevor and Sypha would be back at some point. They'd need a wing of the castle to stay in, and so Alucard began rebuilding in the most literal way.
Work channeled so much. Freed his mind to focus on the less overwhelming but equally important feelings that lay beneath the surface. Alucard found himself wondering when the other two would come back. That? That was a path to longing, and then the realization that there was a deep and abiding love for them both.
Sypha was the one who kept them all on track after, negotiation and navigating emotional waters that neither he nor Trevor were good at exploring. Trevor had years of trauma and walls to break down. Alucard's problems were mercifully obvious, and so the name of it all became balance.
He had grown up around parents who were overly affectionate with each other. There were such vivid memories of his father walking into a room where his mother was reading on the sofa and just settling right in beside her. Or scooting her onto his lap. He had seen them kiss a little too much. In theory? In theory Alucard knew what he should be doing.
Be should and practicing? Two different things.
Alucard knew that change only comes from dedicated effort. It was a matter on his mind when he awoke, and why he remained in bed next to Sypha rather than roll out and go to make breakfast. Somewhere in all of that, the scars on her upper arm captured his attention, and then? Then a mind still mired in grief took over.
"Almost eleven," was the response, said in barely a whisper. "Trevor's gone out hunting, he thought he saw wild boar tracks yesterday."