[ Everything is just a swirl of emotions and things that he doesn't really understand. Alucard's closeness and touch helps some, but the weight of this conversation is still crushing to him because his death is inevitable and no bond can spare him from it. And yet, a smile touches at his lips, sad as it is, head still bowed. ]

You know, when we first met, I honestly didn't care if you were going to kill me. I've never really cared that much. Not for a long time. No one ever gave a shit about me.

[ If he was going to die, then so be it. He'd already lost everything else and no one would mourn his death anyways. ]

But now I wonder if I'll even remember you or Sypha when I wake. Or if I'll be too bloodthirsty and lost in the mind of a monster to even recognize your face. That's what hurts the most, Alucard.