miraclewhip: with iguanas after 2 week stalemate (Wallachia man reaches alliance)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Let's not. That sounds like a wonderful way to get a whole lot of flowery metaphors about shitty wagons and probably-dying horses.

[ Look maybe he does like Useless but he hates that wagon please don't make him endure it for any longer than he absolutely has to. ]
miraclewhip: 'Takes one to know one', says local vampire. (Wallachia man secretly dramatic fuck)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Fuck off, that was the correct reaction to lightning striking three feet away when you're in the middle of an awful dinner.

[ And he lets go of Alucard's shoulder to shove him for that, down into the grass. ]

But now you know you can do that shit, and that's good.
miraclewhip: possible causes: vampires, humans, god (Wallachia man in a huff)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ This is awful and was not at all the plan. Oh no. The dog yips in alarm as they both pull each other into the grass, jumping out of Alucard's lap to climb onto his side instead. ]

Well fuck. So you can't just come visit us while we're away?

[ What do you mean you can't use vampire magic for booty calls if you get lonely ]
miraclewhip: well shit. (Wallachia man has first crush)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
You always are.

[ He brings a hand up to Alucard's cheek, stroking it softly. It's soft, and it's tender, and maybe he could imagine Leon being soft and tender in a way that he certainly couldn't imagine him swearing and shoving people over. But it wasn't unique to Leon. Any fucker would be soft and tender if they were here with someone so very precious. ]

Could never touch you through the mirror.

[ As Sypha liked to make sure they were all very aware of. She had a particular fondness for talking in great detail about the things that they would do if they could. ]
miraclewhip: don't tell anyone, he has a reputation to maintain (Wallachia man content)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
Use whatever scale you please. You'll always be needed.

[ He's not going anywhere. It's summer, and the weather's unlikely to turn any time soon (if it even can, rather than just being stuck on this one bright, warm day forever). He's perfectly content to just stay out here until night and then sleep in the grass. They'll probably have to go back inside to eat and to invite Sypha, but that's something for future Trevor to worry about. ]

Once or twice while we're away, at least. To keep us from doing anything stupid. And we'll be with you while you rest it off.

[ And- Okay, so maybe anything as strenuous as sex might be out of the question after using that magic, if it always leaves Alucard as exhausted as it did before. But he can be there. He can sleep between them and Sypha can curl herself around him and bury her face in his hair and kiss the back of his neck and he can kiss his forehead and fall asleep to the feeling of cool breaths against his collarbone. ]
miraclewhip: to remove 'I eat ass' sticker from truck (Wallachia man arrested after refusing)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
I can't imagine why that would be. My intentions here are perfectly pure.

[ No they are not. And then, with the worst and most shit-eating grin- ]

What did you think I meant?
miraclewhip: Local speakers and vampires shocked to discover themselves morosexual (Wallachia man confirmed idiot)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ The grin does not become any less shit-eating. He's the worst. The actual worst. ]

Did you think I meant that I wanted to get my hands all over you? To see you all flushed and out of breath? To make you make that stupid noise you do when someone kisses you here?

[ And he punctuates that last one by moving his hand from Alucard's cheek to the back of his neck, scratching lightly at the top of it where his hair begins.

And yes he is being a giant shit and ruining the wonderful moment but in his defense he must bully vampires. It is his purpose in life. ]
miraclewhip: despite being set on fire four times this week (Wallachia man adores local witch)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
We needed something to discuss while waiting for the metal to cool.

[ The grin turns less horrible and more genuinely delighted at that stupid, perfect noise. And there is a little less of that silly feigned-innocence voice that he has totally been doing. ]

Maybe we just wanted you with us. To enjoy your company.
miraclewhip: well shit. (Wallachia man has first crush)

[personal profile] miraclewhip 2018-12-18 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Well if you're going to come all that way to visit us, it's only fair that we try to arrange that.

[ Until whatever needs to happen for them to stay together finally happens, they're both going to miss him bitterly whenever they're apart. It's a lot to ask of him, to exhaust himself using that spell. But they're selfish, and they want him to be selfish, and then nobody has to be lonely. ]