[He can take the physical pain. It barely registers, after all, he's his father's son. This is a newly formed vampire (this is Trevor) and so even with all that strength, wild and untamed, it only smarts. He'll take it all if it makes any of this easier, he'll let the blood drip down his arm and pool on the floor, he'll take it, take it, take it even as Sypha has to back away.
There is so much horror here that he cannot process an inch of it. Not the agony of Trevor in those screams, not Sypha as her magic fails her in every way that matters, there is only the moment and enduring it all. In looking at red streaming down a face that should only ever be full of living skin, not the horribly ashy stuff that there is there now.
They didn't have time to even see if the stone worked. This is reality now. This is what they have to endure, and there is only pulling Trevor to his chest and waiting for that terrible, terrible twitching to stop. There are no tears on Alucard's face, not now, not yet, just eyes wide, expression impossible to place. Even he doesn't know what he's feeling.
(No. He knows. It's the terrible feeling of anger that Sypha cannot hold Trevor from the other side, because of blood.)]
[ He can see individual strands of Alucard's hair.
That's his first coherent thought. He never could before. He could feel them, but to his eyes it was all one big golden, flowing, soft mass. His eyes are sharper, so much sharper, and when he blinks (does he need to?) there's none of the roughness of a scarred left eye against the inside of the eyelid.
He's still, now, save for his fingertips still twitching up and down, playing at trying to form fists but failing. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He manages to speak eventually, drawing in one gasping breath to speak. He can't feel anything, really, anything at all save for the residual pain, but the knowledge that this blood must have got here somewhere, that that horrible bruise on Sypha's wrist must have come from something. Even if the guilt's not hit him yet, he knows he's hurt them both. ]
[Alucard holds him there. He doesn't know what else he can do. He doesn't think there is anything else he can do or say or even think to cut the horrible tension of the ever-present moment. Trevor is so cold in his arms, colder than himself, and it is terrible thought to have. That weight is warm and pleasant and sometimes a little crushing, but that was never a problem. Usually it turned into something more playful. Or just an evening of insults.
There's none of that now. There's the sound of Sypha standing up and bringing over a clean cloth, and for that at least Alucard can do something. Wipe at the blood on Trevor's face, because Sypha needs to hold him too. It is terribly cruel to deny her that.]
Don't.
[Don't apologize for things that can't be controlled. Don't say a word. Just. Just don't. This already a horrible moment. Anything, anything at all, will make it worse.]
[ The cloth confuses him for a moment, and then it's- it would be almost humiliating if he had it left in him to care, because fuck off and stop making a big deal of him crying it fucking hurt okay he's allowed to. And then it comes away from his face red, and he understands and what's left of his stomach twists.
He wants to talk. He doesn't have anything to say but apologies and goodbyes, but the silence is terrible. But he doesn't. Sypha moves in to hold him and he raises his arms unsteadily and wraps them around both of them.
Warm. They're both so warm. It's nothing new, from Sypha, but Alucard has always been cool to the touch. And it's- it's strange. Alien. Like he's holding two different people. One so hot as to seem deathly feverish, one just warm in a way that neither of them have ever been 'just warm' (that had always been him).
He needs to go to the whip. He needs to finish this, to return to Sara. To serve her with all of the other sons of Leon Belmont who fell in this way.
But he's selfish. He's selfish and he's afraid and he wants just a little longer with the two people who saved him and brought him this far. So he just holds on to both of them, and he doesn't sob. He can't. There'll be blood again, and then Sypha will have to step away and that can't happen right now. ]
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cryptsleeper) wrote2018-11-10 11:26 pm
no subject
There is so much horror here that he cannot process an inch of it. Not the agony of Trevor in those screams, not Sypha as her magic fails her in every way that matters, there is only the moment and enduring it all. In looking at red streaming down a face that should only ever be full of living skin, not the horribly ashy stuff that there is there now.
They didn't have time to even see if the stone worked. This is reality now. This is what they have to endure, and there is only pulling Trevor to his chest and waiting for that terrible, terrible twitching to stop. There are no tears on Alucard's face, not now, not yet, just eyes wide, expression impossible to place. Even he doesn't know what he's feeling.
(No. He knows. It's the terrible feeling of anger that Sypha cannot hold Trevor from the other side, because of blood.)]
no subject
That's his first coherent thought. He never could before. He could feel them, but to his eyes it was all one big golden, flowing, soft mass. His eyes are sharper, so much sharper, and when he blinks (does he need to?) there's none of the roughness of a scarred left eye against the inside of the eyelid.
He's still, now, save for his fingertips still twitching up and down, playing at trying to form fists but failing. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He manages to speak eventually, drawing in one gasping breath to speak. He can't feel anything, really, anything at all save for the residual pain, but the knowledge that this blood must have got here somewhere, that that horrible bruise on Sypha's wrist must have come from something. Even if the guilt's not hit him yet, he knows he's hurt them both. ]
no subject
There's none of that now. There's the sound of Sypha standing up and bringing over a clean cloth, and for that at least Alucard can do something. Wipe at the blood on Trevor's face, because Sypha needs to hold him too. It is terribly cruel to deny her that.]
Don't.
[Don't apologize for things that can't be controlled. Don't say a word. Just. Just don't. This already a horrible moment. Anything, anything at all, will make it worse.]
no subject
He wants to talk. He doesn't have anything to say but apologies and goodbyes, but the silence is terrible. But he doesn't. Sypha moves in to hold him and he raises his arms unsteadily and wraps them around both of them.
Warm. They're both so warm. It's nothing new, from Sypha, but Alucard has always been cool to the touch. And it's- it's strange. Alien. Like he's holding two different people. One so hot as to seem deathly feverish, one just warm in a way that neither of them have ever been 'just warm' (that had always been him).
He needs to go to the whip. He needs to finish this, to return to Sara. To serve her with all of the other sons of Leon Belmont who fell in this way.
But he's selfish. He's selfish and he's afraid and he wants just a little longer with the two people who saved him and brought him this far. So he just holds on to both of them, and he doesn't sob. He can't. There'll be blood again, and then Sypha will have to step away and that can't happen right now. ]