ALWAYS SUNNY FONT: the gang goes to france

[cryptsleeper]

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[miraclewhip]

I'll let you know if you're ever in danger of me being clever.

[ But he does stay still, letting Alucard work. It's not pleasant at all, but it's better than it was. Feels more like a body part and less like something horrible that's stuck to his arm. He'll need to try to move his fingers, to test if he can, but he'll wait for permission first. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[There may be more bandages used than strictly required for this. He thinks this is a valid concern, because Trevor and because Alucard would rather err on the side of caution. But he is done eventually, and with that he releases Trevor's hand.]

Move your fingers carefully but nothing else.

[miraclewhip]

[ Carefully, carefully, he moves his fingers. All at once, at first, and then tests at moving them one at a time. It's painful but not difficult. ]

There. Good as ever.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard watches. He does so with his arms across his chest, then nods in satisfaction when Trevor's done.]

Very well. This means your work on the Hold is off the table though.

[miraclewhip]

Really? And here I thought I'd be lugging timber around one handed just fine. [ He sighs. ] I'll find some way to amuse myself. No doubt Sypha will be talking both our ears off for the next week once she's back anyway.

[ But hey, his arm's as wrapped up as it's going to be. He turns it over, experimenting some more. ]

You can tell her I fucked up and hit it with a hammer, if you like.

[cryptsleeper]

A hammer wouldn't leave a clean break. And, as you have noted in the past, I am terrible at lying.

[They're going to have to tell her the truth. The stupid, embarrassing truth.]

Unless you want to try that lie, buy us a day, then have her figure it out.

[miraclewhip]

May as well. I'll be the one she blames for it, you know. 'Belmont, were you taunting him again?'

[ He laughs. ]

Which I was, but still unfair.

[cryptsleeper]

Oh is that what you two discuss on the road?

[This is...easier. It puts off guilt, stupid back and forth like this.]

[miraclewhip]

Half of what we discuss on the road, I'm afraid, is too sordid for your delicate ears.

[ Bully the vampire. ]

But yes, the other half is her speculating about who I'm going to be starting fights with and scolding me for it preemptively.

[cryptsleeper]

And yet, in spite of scolding, you do it anyway and get yourself in deeper trouble because you were told not to do it.

[He shakes his head. Trevor Belmont you are too easy to predict.]

You really ought to listen to her on those things, just to throw her off slightly.

[New game: bully the Speaker.]

[miraclewhip]

Well if I've already been scolded for it, there's no sense in not going ahead and doing it.

[ He grins. He likes this speaker bullying game. Though it's not going to keep him from ALSO bullying the vampire. ]

Well, it's a little late for that on this occasion. We could lean into it, let her think that we really did fight. Then we let her figure it out on her own.

[cryptsleeper]

But you do it so often. So for you to actually pretend to be scolded, now that would throw her off. I thought you were a tactician.

[NO. BULLY THE SPEAKER ONLY!]

I do like this idea. Blame reconstruction on the Hold as the source, since that's...true enough.

[miraclewhip]

Are you suggesting I just spend a day behaving myself and see what she does?

[ This isn't going to inspire any future actions no not at all. ]

For a very generous definition of 'true'. You're getting better at this.