cryptsleeper | 20s AU Post

"Land of the Dead" (Watch on YouTube)

Current Carmilla plot outline
--Post-fire, Carmilla and Mr. Peanut team up mostly to use each other. Carmilla's spent the past several months (since November, it is now February 1925) networking, and it's clear to her that Alucard's not suited for the position and that the other two are the obvious weakness. Mr Peanut needs something back, so this is perfect on her end. Mr Peanut can only imagine the joys of vampire blood in his work, and he'd like an army of vampires for his own ends.
--Shit stirring from Mr Peanut (all of March?)
--Mr Peanut also begins to sell mis Miracle Serum, which has vampire blood in it.
--Gang is very much trying to murder Mr Peanut during this.
--Start of April, vampire gets a call from one of the blood bank contacts that 3 patients have come in and are displaying some bizarre signs. Investigation yields the fact that they're in process of turning, and they've all taken the same serum.
--Additional investigation reveals O FUCK IT MR PEANUT
--Meanwhile Carmilla's been made aware of a familiar she didn't sire, so she knows something's up. Big fight with Mr. Peanut and thus Mr. Peanut is left depowered
--Gang commits a murder
--Carmilla's well sured up on her contacts now, and it's time for open rebellion (mid-April)
--In a more subtle attempt to let Alucard just step aside, she cuts the breaks on demon car and shows up to gloat/suggest he not pull a dad and go to deal with his grief quietly while she runs the city. The how he wants to do it is up to him (black widow joke goes here.) Treffy and Sypha walk in.
--1 week of straight up rebellion; feedings, no help from allies, need to do damage control instead of fight carmilla, every dracula rule is
--MEANWHILE IN GRAVITY FALLS, triangle shows Vlad what's up to try and psyche him out, somehow this finalyl snaps Vlad out of his depression and he heads home
--Just in time for Alucard and Carmilla to be tearing each other to bits in one of the bayous, it's not going well
--Vlad coming in means the king of vampires is accosted by a belmont with a pair of blessed knitting needles and a speaker with a fucking gun and he's just like what the shit happened to the world while i was gone
--Wards around the fight means that only demon car can break the wards, everyone has to pile in.
--Carmilla gets her ass kicked AND SENT TO THE JUSTICE DIMENSION

THEN THERE WERE FAERIES.
--Prior to all of this the vampire and Sypha have done a shit ton of research on how to get their Belmont back
--Sypha has also been practicing debating with dad, which leaves everyone Very Tired.
--When Trevor is actually snatched up (1 year after marriage, it takes fae effort. Taking Arn's shape fails, so it's a lot more kidnapping by force), Sypha and Alucard go into Faerie
--But they're playing this as politics, not as heroes rescuing their damsel, so that means the faeries are just "wait what now excuse u?"
--There are 3 gates and 3 trials (the particulars we're still bullshitting.) Each is asked to sacrifice 3 things. (Alucard: voice, his titles as bestowed upon by his father and his people, i forget the third; Sypha: her human form (she's a birb), fuck what were the other two)
--They enter the court at the end of the third trial. After LITERALLY ALL THE TITLES Sypha declares she Speaks for Trevor Belmont
--Claim debate over Trevor, turns out that the rules are in Sypha's favor.
--But that means debating to leave Fae without giving up what they've chosen.
--Sypha lawyers it all out, Alucard is a safety deposit and hangs out with Fae!Trevor
--In the end, safe passage out of Faerie consists of Sypha giving up her memory of the necromancer (billed as a great mage she studied under), the vampire gives up his immortality, and Trevor is replaced with Carmilla (dad was aware of this option and OK with it), but Trevor has his ability to swear taken. He now soundslike a rubber ducky when he tries
--Everyone gets home okay, except for the AU of this AU where the gang fails, but Trevor's on their doorstep like a bat out of Hell because time doesn't work right and he's been in Hell for a WHILE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well then. You can stay you-shaped and I'll wash you, or you can wash yourself.

[ This is starting to sound like a conversation that usually happens the other way around. ]

Longer, perhaps. Tanti's with her. Wanted to see what the demon-car could do.

[Alucard's all set to find something to say to the first part but...]

I'm sorry, that sounded like Florence is about to drive the demon-car.

Oh, it's worse. Sypha is driving the demon-car. Florence is cheering her on. And possibly also threatening the demon to make it go faster.

[ ...if it turns out that all he had to do to snap Alucard out of this was just horrify him with this information- ]

She used the demon car to collect me from church. The demon car had opinions about driving past a church. Tanti got involved. I asked them to leave me at home. For obvious reasons.

The demon car is going to go faster and start spewing fire from it's engine. While they're at a traffic light in front of a police officer. Then Florence is going to get into it, and...

[Why can he see all of this unfolding so easily? Why????]

I should have never gotten that car.

This would be why I asked them to leave me at home, yes.

[ He does not share this thirst for adventure and dying in a car accident that Sypha and his grandmas seem to have. ]

I should have just told you that in the first place, shouldn't I? No need for all the feelings shit, just tell you about the demon car to get our shitty vampire back.

If the're home before sundown it's going to be a miracle.

[He just. Shakes his head. The demon car is truly a nightmare.]

Mm. It would've been expressed and boiled over differently.

[None of it is better. It's just this particular taste of normalcy has helped more than it ought to.]

She'll be covered head to toe in soot again by the time she's home. Thus, the needing to wash before she gets here. Not sure the pipes'll survive it to let you wash after.

[ Easy enough to fix, but probably beyond everyone's collective energy levels tonight. ]

That was a pretty shitty boiling over, honestly. You just got kind of floppy. I was at least hoping for you to throw me across the room or something.

[ Your vampire emotion fit wasn't vampire-y enough, boo. It's warm and teasing and normal. ]

You forgot the part where any attempt to fiddle with that car's mechanics means she reeks of sulphur for a full day. [He. Hates. The demon-car. So much. Especially because most of the day is going to be spent as a wolf and that means his nose is going to be offended to the heavens.]

I'll finish the dishes then I'll go.

[But the next bit of commentary? That just earns a sour face.]

Don't joke.

[Too raw, Treffy. Too raw.]

Are you going to be more specific with that? You know I can only communicate in joking and self-deprecation, so if you're going to ban one entirely-

[ That is, in itself, sort of a joke. He finally stands again, moving closer to Alucard to squeeze his hand. ]

Sorry. Won't happen again for- at least a day or so. Promise.

Thank you.

[Gallows and gallows-adjacent humor is not funny in Alucard's book. It is less funny when anything edges against the fact that right now you yourself are the gallows.

He squeezes back. Just a little.]

I will be primarily not-person shaped today. Just so we're clear.

If you're with us in any form, it's better than before.

[ Also spending the rest of the day petting dog is hardly a terrible thing, regardless of the reason for it. ]

I'll finish the Potatobrands and leave them on the rug by the fireplace while you're washing. And I can read this stupid fucking book about scientists kissing werewolves to you and you can destroy Potatobrands and then when Sypha comes back we can shove her into the bath with whatever soap will make her least offensive to you.

[ It'll be- not normal. But better. ]

[Alucard pauses as he makes his way back to the sink, because...okay. The first part's fine. The last part is also fine. It is the middle part that gives him pause, and Alucard tilts his head at it.]

We have a book with that particular story in this house?

[Who bought the thing???? He didn't. Doesn't sound like a Trevor or Sypha purchase. Or a dad one, for that matter.]

About twelve of them, actually. Just lying around in the guest rooms. Not from the castle's library, not from the city's.

[ He goes back to the table and his knitting bag, pulling out a Potatobrand that just needs the yarn that makes up its hair unraveled a little to make it look bigger and poofier. ]

They're very entertaining. Sypha and I have been going through them for the last few days. She's been making corrections and everything.

There's no book plate or any identifying mark? That's very strange.

[Alucard focuses on the dishes. That's easy enough while contemplating strangely appearing books.]

Are they all about werewolves, or are there other creatures involved as well?

Oh, lots of others. The first one I found was a ghost. But his evil long-lost brother was a werewolf. There's one with a fish monster that we've not got to yet.

[ But of course, the important question- ]

We're saving the vampire ones for when you're back with us properly.

The fish monster sounds particularly promising, come to think of it. Everything else has been done before.

[Trevor, he wasn't even thinking it but...]

In a few days then. I'd rather explore this fish nonsense first.

[ He might not have been. His two humans absolutely were. It's important to check the accuracy of vampire romance novels. ]

Fine, fine. You can destroy potatobrands and I'll read the fish monster kissing book for you.

[Aren't they the greater authorities on vampire romance in this case then???

Oh.

Oh no that book may give Ideas instead.]

Thank you. That's as good a Sunday spent as I can think of.

[ Ideas is why they're waiting for their vampire to be theirs again before they start on the vampire books. It's important to embarrass him properly.

Things aren't normal again. Things aren't healed. Even healed properly, they're going to leave horrible scars yet. But they're closer than they were before. The process has started. And they spent last Sunday afternoon exploring a murder house, so it's an improvement over that. He tosses a finished potatobrand at the back of Alucard's head. ]

I'll be nice. Maybe I'll earn permission to joke again.

20s AU Post

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