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I- shit. Maybe I am.
[ It's easier to admit than he thought it would be. He stares into the dish cupboard for far longer than he really needs to. ]
But- you do that smile, too.
[ It's easier to admit than he thought it would be. He stares into the dish cupboard for far longer than he really needs to. ]
But- you do that smile, too.
Stop trying to harass books out of my-
Your what? Are we calling him your boyf-
[ Trevor snatches the pen out of Enid's hands and scribbles that last part out furiously, bright red. ]
They're all like this. Every last one. My love and I were both only children, we never foresaw this. But I am glad. It is good, that they do not feel the need to be the same as us.
[ Eight boofs, just enjoying pets. She's missed her strange human puppy. But he's grown up healthy, and she's so, so proud. She couldn't be happier. ]
Your what? Are we calling him your boyf-
[ Trevor snatches the pen out of Enid's hands and scribbles that last part out furiously, bright red. ]
They're all like this. Every last one. My love and I were both only children, we never foresaw this. But I am glad. It is good, that they do not feel the need to be the same as us.
[ Eight boofs, just enjoying pets. She's missed her strange human puppy. But he's grown up healthy, and she's so, so proud. She couldn't be happier. ]
[This is ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. A moth is yelling at a skeleton, there's a giant dog, and just. This.]
I also suspect living here rather than the human world has had some ef-- you almost spilled ink on the dog!
[Eight is the best girl and doesn't deserve this!]
I also suspect living here rather than the human world has had some ef-- you almost spilled ink on the dog!
[Eight is the best girl and doesn't deserve this!]
The kind that makes it easy to get caught up.
[ He's not drunk. But he's tired and it's been a long few days and the revelation that he must love Sypha has floored him enough that he has no filter. ]
The kind I just want to follow to the ends of the earth, just in case I might see it again. You- both of you do it.
[ He's not drunk. But he's tired and it's been a long few days and the revelation that he must love Sypha has floored him enough that he has no filter. ]
The kind I just want to follow to the ends of the earth, just in case I might see it again. You- both of you do it.
[The dhampir goes so still. His eyes stare down at the dish water, where the soap has cleared away. Where he can see the criss crossing bandages and want to sob at the shame they fill him with.]
You should have been here earlier.
[He whispers it, shaking just a little.]
I could have said all those things back without any problem, I could have....
[Loved you so much easier.]
You should have been here earlier.
[He whispers it, shaking just a little.]
I could have said all those things back without any problem, I could have....
[Loved you so much easier.]
[ Trevor stops, but Enid doesn't. She's in the process of writing something rather less appropriate than 'are you calling him your boyfriend now' when Eight gives a disapproving BOOF and she stops. Looking away, properly ashamed of her behaviour from the boof of discipline. ]
Oh, Eight. I'm sorry. We didn't mean to upset you-
[ As Trevor's voice becomes incoherent cooing dog-communication-noises, Enid attempts to roll her eyes (doesn't work, has none) and starts writing again. ]
I will leave the girls here. They will find their way home. Come to the library when you are ready to share your knowledge.
Oh, Eight. I'm sorry. We didn't mean to upset you-
[ As Trevor's voice becomes incoherent cooing dog-communication-noises, Enid attempts to roll her eyes (doesn't work, has none) and starts writing again. ]
I will leave the girls here. They will find their way home. Come to the library when you are ready to share your knowledge.
--It was nice meeting you too, Enid.
[He's trying to be polite, but honestly? Only Eight matters. Because in all of this, Alucard hasn't stopped petting Eight. At all.]
[He's trying to be polite, but honestly? Only Eight matters. Because in all of this, Alucard hasn't stopped petting Eight. At all.]
I should have. I didn't think-
[ He doesn't touch Alucard, but he takes the dish from his hands to dry it. ]
-Even if you don't feel the same. Even if you can't. Even if you need us to leave, need us to never came back.
[ He doesn't know what that 'even' means, but- he knows it means something. ]
-If I love her, then I think I must love you. It's the same. And it won't change. And I won't hate you, for whatever you need to do.
[ He doesn't touch Alucard, but he takes the dish from his hands to dry it. ]
-Even if you don't feel the same. Even if you can't. Even if you need us to leave, need us to never came back.
[ He doesn't know what that 'even' means, but- he knows it means something. ]
-If I love her, then I think I must love you. It's the same. And it won't change. And I won't hate you, for whatever you need to do.
[He all but collapses at that. All of the dhampir slumps forward. Threatens to fall into the dish water. The shake in his arms spreads now, and the half of a fritter in Alucard's stomach churns with far too much anger.]
I want to. I could have--
[A horrible strangled noise escapes from his throat, but no more.]
I want to. I could have--
[A horrible strangled noise escapes from his throat, but no more.]
[ Trevor takes his seat back, clapping his hands on his thighs. The sleeping dog immediately perks up and rushes over to clamber into his lap and immediately doze off again, and the smaller stockier one just determinedly trying to put his hand in its mouth as he equally determinedly tries to pet it. ]
She's missed you. [ A pause. ] Eight, I mean. I don't think my sister is capable of missing anything with two legs.
She's missed you. [ A pause. ] Eight, I mean. I don't think my sister is capable of missing anything with two legs.
[Two handed petting is not easy! But it is impressive. All Alucard does is keep petting Eight, until he declares fuck it and moves onto the floor to snuggle her properly instead.]
In fairness, she has raised some very good dogs. [The best dogs even! The fluffiest and loveliest and right, Leon's still watching all of this. Alucard looks up, and this time holds eye contact in spite of his blushing.]
Did you want to join us in dog petting?
In fairness, she has raised some very good dogs. [The best dogs even! The fluffiest and loveliest and right, Leon's still watching all of this. Alucard looks up, and this time holds eye contact in spite of his blushing.]
Did you want to join us in dog petting?
[ He puts the plate down. Turns to actually face Alucard, to put an arm between him and the sink. There for him to sink into if he needs it. ]
We're here now. Whatever that ends up meaning- we're here.
We won't let you be hurt again
We're here now. Whatever that ends up meaning- we're here.
We won't let you be hurt again
[He leans against Trevor.
It's an awful terrible angle. Alucard feels both too heavy and too light doing it. But he does it all the same, knowing, trusting Trevor in this moment.
Trusting one of them.]
It's an awful terrible angle. Alucard feels both too heavy and too light doing it. But he does it all the same, knowing, trusting Trevor in this moment.
Trusting one of them.]
[ He pulls Alucard close, and it's easier than it feels like it should be. Maybe because he technically already did this last night. Maybe it was just always thus easy, and he just never tried hard enough because he was afraid. The way it was with Sypha. ]
We love you. I love you.
[ That's easier than it ought to be, too. And though he agreed that touching was to be off-limits, he presses a delicate kiss to Alucard's forehead. ]
We're here. We'll make it stop hurting.
We love you. I love you.
[ That's easier than it ought to be, too. And though he agreed that touching was to be off-limits, he presses a delicate kiss to Alucard's forehead. ]
We're here. We'll make it stop hurting.
[ Leon just laughs. It's what early morning sunlight must sound like, soft and warm and full of promise. Trevor remains on his chair, now pinned there by the sleepy dog.
And Eight? Eight is overjoyed. Snuggles! Proper snuggles! She's all fluff and wagging tail, now, and seems determined to be as attached to Alucard as possible. ]
I think I will let her have you to herself. I know better than to try to separate the dear eighth from her loves.
And Eight? Eight is overjoyed. Snuggles! Proper snuggles! She's all fluff and wagging tail, now, and seems determined to be as attached to Alucard as possible. ]
I think I will let her have you to herself. I know better than to try to separate the dear eighth from her loves.
[Touching is off limits. Alucard can't account for his reaction if they touch him, it's a risk it's--
--he's slack in Trevor's arms. Trying to find some sort of location to just cling and keep clinging, and he finds it. Trevor's forearms are the hold, Alucard's arms wet and soapy in spite of everything.]
I don't know if you can. I want that but I don't know--
--he's slack in Trevor's arms. Trying to find some sort of location to just cling and keep clinging, and he finds it. Trevor's forearms are the hold, Alucard's arms wet and soapy in spite of everything.]
I don't know if you can. I want that but I don't know--
Thank you. For that and....this. It felt right to do it, but thank you.
[Alucard is mostly talking through the density of Eight's fluff now. It's good fluff. Fluff that is going to always love him and goodness that's a thought to keep in mind.
He mushes his entire face into the fluff, sighing happily.]
[Alucard is mostly talking through the density of Eight's fluff now. It's good fluff. Fluff that is going to always love him and goodness that's a thought to keep in mind.
He mushes his entire face into the fluff, sighing happily.]
We'll find a way.
[ He doesn't make promises he can't keep. He usually doesn't make promises, in general. But now seems like a time for exceptions. He'll just do his best, and try to trust himself. ]
We won't stop trying until we find a way. And in the meantime, we'll be here.
[ A short pause. ]
And I hope you know that I'm not letting go until one of us needs the bathroom.
[ He doesn't make promises he can't keep. He usually doesn't make promises, in general. But now seems like a time for exceptions. He'll just do his best, and try to trust himself. ]
We won't stop trying until we find a way. And in the meantime, we'll be here.
[ A short pause. ]
And I hope you know that I'm not letting go until one of us needs the bathroom.
You are more than welcome.
[ He bows. ]
You may stay here until nightfall, if you wish. But no longer.
[ He bows. ]
You may stay here until nightfall, if you wish. But no longer.
[Wait.
Alucard tilts his head, not unlike Eight.]
I thought I was also meeting....?
Alucard tilts his head, not unlike Eight.]
I thought I was also meeting....?
[There's no way. Alucard knows that, he's certain. Maybe before imitating his father he might have been convinced otherwise but now? The very notion seems the height of madness. It must be. How the hell does anything get better from here?
He sniffles loudly. Aware of how it sounds.]
That seems overkill--
He sniffles loudly. Aware of how it sounds.]
That seems overkill--
You think?
[ He tries to sound casual about it, but he’s holding on to Alucard like he might slip away and be lost forever if he let go. ]
I’ll let go once, then. Just to let you get comfortable.
[ He tries to sound casual about it, but he’s holding on to Alucard like he might slip away and be lost forever if he let go. ]
I’ll let go once, then. Just to let you get comfortable.
You are. It’s just-
[ Trevor stops trying to pet the dog for a moment, so it starts slobbering all over his hand. His attention is on Leon. He almost seems concerned. ]
You will be visiting your mother tonight, yes? [ Trevor nods, almost nervously, and Leon’s smile turns sad. ] Once night falls, he will take you to her.
[ Trevor stops trying to pet the dog for a moment, so it starts slobbering all over his hand. His attention is on Leon. He almost seems concerned. ]
You will be visiting your mother tonight, yes? [ Trevor nods, almost nervously, and Leon’s smile turns sad. ] Once night falls, he will take you to her.
[It isn't a wrong instinct. Alucard's too fragile right now. He knows that in the back of his head. Knows how hard he's teetering.]
Where should--?
[It'll be the floor in a minute.]
Where should--?
[It'll be the floor in a minute.]
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