[ He frowns - is Alucard really going to make him say it? That seems- crueler than he thought they were still being with each other. ]
You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
Oh.
[ Awkward. ]
In that case, I’m- not happy for you? I suppose. I thought that was what she wanted me to talk about. I-
-you’ll still protect her, though? Even if-
[ MORE GESTURING. ‘Even if this is totally platonic neck licking.’ ]
[ Awkward. ]
In that case, I’m- not happy for you? I suppose. I thought that was what she wanted me to talk about. I-
-you’ll still protect her, though? Even if-
[ MORE GESTURING. ‘Even if this is totally platonic neck licking.’ ]
Oh. That’s-
[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
I can’t.
[ Shit, he has to explain this, doesn’t he? ]
Still have a trial, remember?
[ Shit, he has to explain this, doesn’t he? ]
Still have a trial, remember?
Because people still died. People still lost children. And they don't know about Dracula. Most of them don't believe in him. They just know that an army came from the Belmont estate. I'm- the closest thing to the one who's to blame that they know of.
[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
I-
[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
I'll- think it over a little more.
[ The idea of keeping going is terrifying. But then, the idea of making Sypha upset is nearly as bad. He takes the break, nodding in thanks. ]
But Carmilla first, no matter what happens. That's- you ought to feel safe. Truly safe. Even if I can't give it to everyone else.
[ The idea of keeping going is terrifying. But then, the idea of making Sypha upset is nearly as bad. He takes the break, nodding in thanks. ]
But Carmilla first, no matter what happens. That's- you ought to feel safe. Truly safe. Even if I can't give it to everyone else.
Thanks. I- for everything. But also for the eggs. Probably best that I make something. Not going to get any more sleep.
[ He stands a more-than-safe distance back from this kitchen's magic fire circles as they light with a pan over them. Those things are terrifying. ]
I know this is hard. I know I'm- difficult. To deal with. If it turns out you need to not deal with me- [ He breaks an egg into the pan and then turns to Alucard, tilting his head to ask if he wants any making for him. ]
-I won't do anything stupid, because of that. I don't want you to- you know. Think you have to put up with me or I'll go throw myself on a pyre.
[ He stands a more-than-safe distance back from this kitchen's magic fire circles as they light with a pan over them. Those things are terrifying. ]
I know this is hard. I know I'm- difficult. To deal with. If it turns out you need to not deal with me- [ He breaks an egg into the pan and then turns to Alucard, tilting his head to ask if he wants any making for him. ]
-I won't do anything stupid, because of that. I don't want you to- you know. Think you have to put up with me or I'll go throw myself on a pyre.
As you wish.
[Moments like this are quietly sacred. They demand nothing -- Adrian demands nothing -- and yet they mean everything. Once upon a time, Trevor questioned it, wondered why this happened, how they came to be like this, and more to the point, what was driving Adrian and Sypha to put up with him in the first place. Not anymore. He's decided to stop grappling with the reasons; their connection, their love, is like the geometry of the stars. If he tried to pick apart the logistics, it would drive him mad. He's happier simply enjoying it for the beauty it is.
And hell if he knows how to talk about his own emotions, but showing them? The hands slowly moving behind Adrian, to carefully work slow circles through his low back? The soft kisses that occasionally land on Adrian's temple or neck? All surer proclamation than words could ever be.]
[Moments like this are quietly sacred. They demand nothing -- Adrian demands nothing -- and yet they mean everything. Once upon a time, Trevor questioned it, wondered why this happened, how they came to be like this, and more to the point, what was driving Adrian and Sypha to put up with him in the first place. Not anymore. He's decided to stop grappling with the reasons; their connection, their love, is like the geometry of the stars. If he tried to pick apart the logistics, it would drive him mad. He's happier simply enjoying it for the beauty it is.
And hell if he knows how to talk about his own emotions, but showing them? The hands slowly moving behind Adrian, to carefully work slow circles through his low back? The soft kisses that occasionally land on Adrian's temple or neck? All surer proclamation than words could ever be.]
I'll try.
[ He chuckles, adding another egg to the pan. His shoulders rise a little - not defensively, not even enough to come close to his usual well-trained posture, but enough that he doesn't look like a sad, boneless mess. There's humour in him again for now, at least. A little poison drained from old wounds. ]
You'd think it'd get easier, after the job's done. Doesn't fucking seem to work that way, hmm?
[ He chuckles, adding another egg to the pan. His shoulders rise a little - not defensively, not even enough to come close to his usual well-trained posture, but enough that he doesn't look like a sad, boneless mess. There's humour in him again for now, at least. A little poison drained from old wounds. ]
You'd think it'd get easier, after the job's done. Doesn't fucking seem to work that way, hmm?
Oh, absolutely.
[ He divides the eggs onto plates, sliding one over to Alucard and snatching a little more bread from him in return. He sits, poking at the yolk of an egg with the bread. ]
I'll ask Sypha for help tracking the boat's course once she wakes up. That way she gets a chance to voice how she doesn't want me doing that. Also, I don't know how to track a fucking boat and she probably does.
[ He divides the eggs onto plates, sliding one over to Alucard and snatching a little more bread from him in return. He sits, poking at the yolk of an egg with the bread. ]
I'll ask Sypha for help tracking the boat's course once she wakes up. That way she gets a chance to voice how she doesn't want me doing that. Also, I don't know how to track a fucking boat and she probably does.
Yeah. She's strange, but she's strange in the same ways all the time.
[ Too bad. Eggs. Trevor eats with all the grace of someone who's been too stuck in their own head to remember to eat in the last day, scooping up egg yolk with his bread and continuing only after a good few mouthfuls. He'd forgotten how much clearer things seem with food in one's belly. ]
've you ever even spent enough time around someone to learn to predict them before?
[ Too bad. Eggs. Trevor eats with all the grace of someone who's been too stuck in their own head to remember to eat in the last day, scooping up egg yolk with his bread and continuing only after a good few mouthfuls. He'd forgotten how much clearer things seem with food in one's belly. ]
've you ever even spent enough time around someone to learn to predict them before?
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