Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

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[miraclewhip]

Oh.

[ Awkward. ]

In that case, I’m- not happy for you? I suppose. I thought that was what she wanted me to talk about. I-

-you’ll still protect her, though? Even if-

[ MORE GESTURING. ‘Even if this is totally platonic neck licking.’ ]

[cryptsleeper]

She's under the impression that this will make me stop flinching any time one of you two brushes up against me by accident.

[He mutters the words in total embarrassment. Not because it's not working from his perspective, but because the only reason Alucard's going along with it is he feels far, far better after taking blood from her.]

Yes. But you're staying, so why are you putting it all on me?

[miraclewhip]

Oh. That’s-

[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]

I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.

[cryptsleeper]

Like I said. Not capable of more.

[Which is pretty pathetic, all things considered.]

No. You'll stay after. Sypha'll want that. An entire lifetime of your presence.

[Alucard can't offer that. Not in a fulfilling way. Not like Trevor can.]

[miraclewhip]

I can’t.

[ Shit, he has to explain this, doesn’t he? ]

Still have a trial, remember?

[cryptsleeper]

[Excuse u Belmont?

At that, the vampire's look is flat and so deeply, deeply chagrined.]

A speaker and a half-vampire risk life and limb to spring you from the clutches of men who would have you dead only for you to walk right back into their arms for....why, precisely?

[miraclewhip]

Because people still died. People still lost children. And they don't know about Dracula. Most of them don't believe in him. They just know that an army came from the Belmont estate. I'm- the closest thing to the one who's to blame that they know of.

[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]

It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.

[cryptsleeper]

It won't.

[Alucard knows this line of thought more than he's happy to admit. But that means he's the right person to refute it.]

They won't care. The lie of safety won't last. And Sypha will be sad, and I won't be able to help her.

[miraclewhip]

I-

[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.

But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]

-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.

[cryptsleeper]

Some things that are broken can't be fixed. This is one of those things.

[Alucard sighs, and he takes a bite of his bread. There's a pause then, and he tears the piece in half, offering part of it to Trevor.]

There's still vampires out there. Other nasty things. You can still do the work. It probably needs to get done so things don't break further.

[miraclewhip]

I'll- think it over a little more.

[ The idea of keeping going is terrifying. But then, the idea of making Sypha upset is nearly as bad. He takes the break, nodding in thanks. ]

But Carmilla first, no matter what happens. That's- you ought to feel safe. Truly safe. Even if I can't give it to everyone else.

[cryptsleeper]

She's been alive for too long anyway.

[But he nods. He understands what Trevor means. But to have the words to respond to it is beyond him right now.]

There's some eggs if you want protein. Over next to the sink, in the woven wicker basket.

[miraclewhip]

Thanks. I- for everything. But also for the eggs. Probably best that I make something. Not going to get any more sleep.

[ He stands a more-than-safe distance back from this kitchen's magic fire circles as they light with a pan over them. Those things are terrifying. ]

I know this is hard. I know I'm- difficult. To deal with. If it turns out you need to not deal with me- [ He breaks an egg into the pan and then turns to Alucard, tilting his head to ask if he wants any making for him. ]

-I won't do anything stupid, because of that. I don't want you to- you know. Think you have to put up with me or I'll go throw myself on a pyre.

[cryptsleeper]

It is hard. All of this is...

[Overwhelming. Too much. Whatever it is, Alucard finishes by only shaking his head to show that he lacks words to do much more in terms of articulation.]

I understand the impulse though. It's hard to want to do anything when...

[When the big event is all said and done.]

But for her sake, fight the impulse.

[miraclewhip]

I'll try.

[ He chuckles, adding another egg to the pan. His shoulders rise a little - not defensively, not even enough to come close to his usual well-trained posture, but enough that he doesn't look like a sad, boneless mess. There's humour in him again for now, at least. A little poison drained from old wounds. ]

You'd think it'd get easier, after the job's done. Doesn't fucking seem to work that way, hmm?

[cryptsleeper]

It doesn't.  Living at all is hard.

[Harder when you're half undead, maybe.  Alucard can't say, but at least Trevor looks a hair better.  That's probably a life time of work, rearranging all those hairs but...

He doesn't know if that's something to spend a life time doing.  Alucard knows how Sypha feels, admittedly.]

Was there anything else very stupid you were going to do that I have to remind you Sypha would disapprove of?

[miraclewhip]

Oh, absolutely.

[ He divides the eggs onto plates, sliding one over to Alucard and snatching a little more bread from him in return. He sits, poking at the yolk of an egg with the bread. ]

I'll ask Sypha for help tracking the boat's course once she wakes up. That way she gets a chance to voice how she doesn't want me doing that. Also, I don't know how to track a fucking boat and she probably does.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard thought he indicated he wanted no eggs. Too late now, and so he just. Sits there contemplating the egg, before he puts some of the cheese atop it, watching the stuff melt slowly but surely.]

At least we can reliably predict her, you know. I can't remember the last time I could really do that with anyone.

[miraclewhip]

Yeah. She's strange, but she's strange in the same ways all the time.

[ Too bad. Eggs. Trevor eats with all the grace of someone who's been too stuck in their own head to remember to eat in the last day, scooping up egg yolk with his bread and continuing only after a good few mouthfuls. He'd forgotten how much clearer things seem with food in one's belly. ]

've you ever even spent enough time around someone to learn to predict them before?

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard sighs. He doesn't want to use a spoon. So grabbing another hunk of bread, using a vampire nail to cut a little bit of egg so it can be placed on the bread. It's not dignified.

Suits them, doesn't it? At least him.]


...Not since I was very young.

[Before his mother's death, he means.]

I don't know if I care for it.

[miraclewhip]

Would you rather be someplace else?

[ Look, if he was going to complain about Alucard's table manners he'd have no room to complain right now. He practically has egg up his nose, he's so enthusiastic about getting food down his threat. ]

She'd understand, if you would.

[cryptsleeper]

She would, but then she'd be disappointed. Start talking about how I need to be exposed just a little bit to what's normal for others. Something about removing the power of it.

[miraclewhip]

Well shit. If you need to be exposed to normal people things, this isn’t exactly the company you ought to be keeping.

[ Well, Trevor’s back to normal, being shitty instead of sad. That’s probably good. ]

Do you want to remove its power? I think she’s right, but- I’m the one who fucked you up. We don’t get to choose for you how you put yourself back together.

[cryptsleeper]

This version of normal is probably all I'll be able to handle, I suspect.

[It's just the vampire's turn to be his usual melancholic self. That's slightly better. Probably.]

I wouldn't say you, specifically, are responsible for that. Your family...contributed to the effort, but.

[He shakes his head no very slowly.]

I wouldn't know how to begin approaching recovery, Belmont. She has ideas, at least.

[miraclewhip]

I’m the one who’s here to take responsibility.

[ His food is already gone. So yes. Maybe he very much did need to eat. He sighs, smiling ruefully. ]

As long as recovery is what you want.