[ He tries not to look at Alucard, forcing his breath to remain steady. This is- this is fine. He can do this. He can do this without- weird reactions.
He knows he's wrong the second that he feels Alucard's hand in his hair. He isn't used to touching him anymore, not in this form, and his body fucking sings for it. Begs for it like he's the one who's starving for this. Then there's the hand on his waist and- he's lost. He knows that he's lost this long before there are lips against him and all he can do is let his head be tugged to one side.
And he wants this to continue. He wants Alucard's mouth against him. He wants Alucard's- he wants so, so much more than he ought to want.
There's the quick pinch of pain, and that's merciful, bringing him back into himself for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, if he focuses on that. Pretends that all he feels is pain-
-no. That plan goat out of the window the second Alucard's fangs leave. There's pain still, a dull undercurrent of it, but then there are lips against his neck. This was never a problem before, but then before he had never been starving himself of contact.
He's done this to himself. Fuck.
He brings a hand up to Alucard's side, holding on to him to keep himself steady. And he lets out a breath that comes out as a long, needy sigh. It's pathetic, it really is. He'll excuse himself the second Alucard is done. ]
no subject
He knows he's wrong the second that he feels Alucard's hand in his hair. He isn't used to touching him anymore, not in this form, and his body fucking sings for it. Begs for it like he's the one who's starving for this. Then there's the hand on his waist and- he's lost. He knows that he's lost this long before there are lips against him and all he can do is let his head be tugged to one side.
And he wants this to continue. He wants Alucard's mouth against him. He wants Alucard's- he wants so, so much more than he ought to want.
There's the quick pinch of pain, and that's merciful, bringing him back into himself for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, if he focuses on that. Pretends that all he feels is pain-
-no. That plan goat out of the window the second Alucard's fangs leave. There's pain still, a dull undercurrent of it, but then there are lips against his neck. This was never a problem before, but then before he had never been starving himself of contact.
He's done this to himself. Fuck.
He brings a hand up to Alucard's side, holding on to him to keep himself steady. And he lets out a breath that comes out as a long, needy sigh. It's pathetic, it really is. He'll excuse himself the second Alucard is done. ]