You don't owe me thanks. It was my fault. If I hadn't-
[ He shakes his head. ]
I made it impossible for the rest of my family to get close to you safely. If it weren't for me, we could have explained. Spoken to your father. Protected you with a vow, the same way he is protected. It shouldn't have happened in the first place.
[Trevor isn't wrong, not at all. Alucard can't contradict that.]
But that was what was done, and you've since then taken responsibility for that and for my safety. That's still important. Worth saying thank you for, because I wouldn't have made it out of that place without you.
[ He says it a little bit awkwardly. He's not entirely used to thanks. ]
I don't want you to have to be afraid like that again. Once your father has calmed enough to treat with him, we'll try to ask his leave to protect you. It doesn't have to be me- it could be Leon, or one of my sisters. As long as one of us has laid claim to you, our kind can't interfere.
[Funny. Here Alucard thought fae took life debts more seriously. After all, that's what it is. Alucard's life was in the balance, not from death but imprisonment eternal and...it didn't happen.
He can feel himself becoming more and more brittle as Trevor speaks though. Alucard knows his father. Knows a fraction of what's going on, and he shivers for the thought of what that conversation would really mean.]
I don't think you'd survive that discussion. Whatever means he takes, he's going to insist it be in his hands, or not at all.
[ He doesn't quite know how to interpret that, but he can accept it. Try to work with it. ]
-let me claim you, then. In words alone, and only for as long as you wish. If she wants to take you from me, she would have to pay whatever price I name. And Sypha- she's clever. She could come up with something that can't be paid.
Before you do that, tell Sypha the idea. If there's holes in it, ways it can go wrong aside from the extremely obvious, we should know about it before anyone's claimed.
[His father will still react as only he can, but it can be discussed more rationally. Alucard is quiet for a moment.]
But it sounds like a solid outset.
[But that's the important part. He's fine with the plan, where at any other other point he would have reacted in horror and tried to flee.]
[ It doesn't have to be him. It could be Leon, or one of his sisters. Perhaps it would be better if it wasn't him. Right now, though, this way only makes sense. If Alucard want to travel with them- ]
I'll ask her, if I remember any of this. And your father will do whatever he does, I suppose. I'll survive. We're good at that.
[ He turns away from Alucard, looking out over the snow. Best not to actually be looking him in the eye for this. ]
You've already been dispersed once in the time I've known you. I would prefer that not happen again.
[Just what they need. Leon did the deed once, then Dracula. Terrible idea. Besides, Alucard does not want to relive any of the recovery from that kind of death again. Or think about how father might get creative. Keep that single moth in the castle and then refuse to let it regenerate.
(He does not know his father's compulsion against such things.)]
With the both of you. It would be wrong otherwise.
[ He has the restraint to not, at this point, make the comment that it's lot cleaner than how it works for his siblings. Birds and rabbits and wolves make an awful mess. Instead he just reaches out to take Alucard's hand.
Not for any important reason. Not in the face of any imminent threat, just to take it, to run his thumb over the knuckles of it and wonder at how it fits into his own. His face is calm, content, and it takes him a moment to look up when Alucard calls his name (his name). ]
[It's a damn good thing that Trevor doesn't. There's a mood killer, then there's this.
It feels good, like this. Alucard can only imagine that it feels like with Sypha, and maybe one day he'll find out. But for now, for now he can reach into his coat pocket. What comes out is a tiny little stone, impossibly shaped and textured to look like a moth wing.]
I want you to have this back.
[He holds out the stone, the memory of the kiss from The Nonsense.]
[ He looks at the stone in confusion - it's something of his, he can tell that much, and that means he had a reason to give it away. But if Alucard wants him to have it back...
He absorbs it into himself, the same way he would his moths, and then goes very still for a moment. Oh. ]
I- didn't want it. I didn't want to have it, if you had no choice in- are you sure?
[ He wants to remember it. He was happy. But he doesn't want to have it at Alucard's expense. ]
[ Before he can think about it too much, he moves his face forward, closing the gap between them.
It's wonderful. Better than the one he remembers, because there's nothing awful forcing it. None of the queen's love of granting wishes but soiling them somehow in the process. None of the queen at all. Just himself and Alucard and the knowledge that Sypha will be here soon and- this one, he has no intention of giving up the memory of.
Nothing dramatic happen. He doesn't become a human in a swirling flurry of moths. The sleeping prince doesn't awaken. He doesn't even have his mouth open this time. It's soft, mostly chaste, and when he pulls back (far too soon, but there'll be other times. there have to be other times) he's wearing that look of being stupid with contentment. ]
[It doesn't feel right to push for more than what the kiss is. Chaste. Careful. But still good, and Alucard feels daring enough to put his free hand against Trevor's cheek until they break apart.
There's pink in his cheeks when they're done (it's the first time any kiss he's had has been one of choice.) He doesn't know what to say or do or anything else, so instead he looks down at their intertwined hands.]
You'll have to tell Sypha that I want to do that to her as well. I suspect you'll remember that.
[ He coils both of his wings around Alucard now, cocooning the both of them against the snow. Neither of them need it but- still, it feels right. Not a cage, just an embrace. ]
[The proximity between them is practically nothing now. He sighs a little, not focused on the warmth but on the sense of safety involved. Because that's what it is now, isn't it? Safety.]
That's what I want.
[No cages at all. And isn't that the greatest show of trust, going down this road?]
[ He hesitates only a little before reaching up with his free hand, twisting a lock of Alucard's hair around a finger slowly. He's- probably allowed to do that now, right? It's going to take a little getting used to, being allowed to touch Alucard like this, but he's not about to complain. ]
Mine. [ No. ] Ours.
[ It doesn't mean anything here. Alucard can't be bound in his own dream. But he's wanted to say it for the longest time. ]
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[ He shakes his head. ]
I made it impossible for the rest of my family to get close to you safely. If it weren't for me, we could have explained. Spoken to your father. Protected you with a vow, the same way he is protected. It shouldn't have happened in the first place.
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[Trevor isn't wrong, not at all. Alucard can't contradict that.]
But that was what was done, and you've since then taken responsibility for that and for my safety. That's still important. Worth saying thank you for, because I wouldn't have made it out of that place without you.
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[ He says it a little bit awkwardly. He's not entirely used to thanks. ]
I don't want you to have to be afraid like that again. Once your father has calmed enough to treat with him, we'll try to ask his leave to protect you. It doesn't have to be me- it could be Leon, or one of my sisters. As long as one of us has laid claim to you, our kind can't interfere.
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He can feel himself becoming more and more brittle as Trevor speaks though. Alucard knows his father. Knows a fraction of what's going on, and he shivers for the thought of what that conversation would really mean.]
I don't think you'd survive that discussion. Whatever means he takes, he's going to insist it be in his hands, or not at all.
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[ But he notices the shiver and awkwardly offers a wing and an anemic attempt at a smile. ]
We will protect you. If Dracula won't give his leave then we'll simply ask yours instead.
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Ah, so we'll all get in trouble instead of just your family. Very good.
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[ It’s enough to get a genuine laugh out of him, something that isn’t awkward and stilted. He falls quiet afterward, looking away. ]
I won’t let it happen again. Not just to keep her from starting this stupid war, but- I want you to be safe. Safe and happy.
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[It feels wrong to laugh, but Alucard does. It's thin and very weak, because that feels about right.]
I don't think happy and safe intersect now. [His voice is quiet, and a little too certain.]
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[ He doesn't know how much is appropriate to comfort Alucard, but the wing curls about his shoulder more tightly. ]
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[He stops himself, searching for the words. The wing feels nice. Comfortable. Comforting.]
I believe I was happiest traveling with the both of you, once we all got used to it. I doubt that can happy anymore.
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[ He doesn't quite know how to interpret that, but he can accept it. Try to work with it. ]
-let me claim you, then. In words alone, and only for as long as you wish. If she wants to take you from me, she would have to pay whatever price I name. And Sypha- she's clever. She could come up with something that can't be paid.
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[His father will still react as only he can, but it can be discussed more rationally. Alucard is quiet for a moment.]
But it sounds like a solid outset.
[But that's the important part. He's fine with the plan, where at any other other point he would have reacted in horror and tried to flee.]
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I'll ask her, if I remember any of this. And your father will do whatever he does, I suppose. I'll survive. We're good at that.
[ He turns away from Alucard, looking out over the snow. Best not to actually be looking him in the eye for this. ]
With both of us? Not with her?
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[Just what they need. Leon did the deed once, then Dracula. Terrible idea. Besides, Alucard does not want to relive any of the recovery from that kind of death again. Or think about how father might get creative. Keep that single moth in the castle and then refuse to let it regenerate.
(He does not know his father's compulsion against such things.)]
With the both of you. It would be wrong otherwise.
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[ GOSH he just hibernates for a while before slowly turning back into a person with the sense of self coming last. Why is this a problem???
But there are more important things. Softly, cautiously- ]
-may I hold your hand again?
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[Look! LOOK!!! It's terrifying!]
Yes.
[There isn't any hesitation as Alucard offers his hand, crossing the space that remains between them.]
Trevor?
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Not for any important reason. Not in the face of any imminent threat, just to take it, to run his thumb over the knuckles of it and wonder at how it fits into his own. His face is calm, content, and it takes him a moment to look up when Alucard calls his name (his name). ]
Yes?
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It feels good, like this. Alucard can only imagine that it feels like with Sypha, and maybe one day he'll find out. But for now, for now he can reach into his coat pocket. What comes out is a tiny little stone, impossibly shaped and textured to look like a moth wing.]
I want you to have this back.
[He holds out the stone, the memory of the kiss from The Nonsense.]
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He absorbs it into himself, the same way he would his moths, and then goes very still for a moment. Oh. ]
I- didn't want it. I didn't want to have it, if you had no choice in- are you sure?
[ He wants to remember it. He was happy. But he doesn't want to have it at Alucard's expense. ]
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[Alucard squeezes Trevor's hand once. It's a gesture that tries to be reassuring, although the vampire isn't sure if it translates well or at all.]
I still could have said no, you know. Found a way to hide our faces. But I didn't, Belmont. That was my choice.
Just as this is.
[Slowly, cautiously, unsure of the action, Alucard leans in towards Trevor, his face angled just a little upwards.]
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It's wonderful. Better than the one he remembers, because there's nothing awful forcing it. None of the queen's love of granting wishes but soiling them somehow in the process. None of the queen at all. Just himself and Alucard and the knowledge that Sypha will be here soon and- this one, he has no intention of giving up the memory of.
Nothing dramatic happen. He doesn't become a human in a swirling flurry of moths. The sleeping prince doesn't awaken. He doesn't even have his mouth open this time. It's soft, mostly chaste, and when he pulls back (far too soon, but there'll be other times. there have to be other times) he's wearing that look of being stupid with contentment. ]
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There's pink in his cheeks when they're done (it's the first time any kiss he's had has been one of choice.) He doesn't know what to say or do or anything else, so instead he looks down at their intertwined hands.]
You'll have to tell Sypha that I want to do that to her as well. I suspect you'll remember that.
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[ He coils both of his wings around Alucard now, cocooning the both of them against the snow. Neither of them need it but- still, it feels right. Not a cage, just an embrace. ]
No cages. I promise. Just this.
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[The proximity between them is practically nothing now. He sighs a little, not focused on the warmth but on the sense of safety involved. Because that's what it is now, isn't it? Safety.]
That's what I want.
[No cages at all. And isn't that the greatest show of trust, going down this road?]
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Mine. [ No. ] Ours.
[ It doesn't mean anything here. Alucard can't be bound in his own dream. But he's wanted to say it for the longest time. ]
Until you choose otherwise.
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