Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

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[miraclewhip]

Shitty instinct.

[ He’s being a shit about this. He knows he is. But it’s bothering him and the alternative is putting thought into why that might be. ]

It’s- I don’t like it. I take a calculated risk, I don’t want eith of you dealing with the consequences.

[ never mind that there are no consequences. Because vampire strength. ]

[cryptsleeper]

It was automatic. I didn't put a thought into it.

[Oh. He probably shouldn't have said that, huh?

Alucard frowns, making a low and worried noise at Trevor.]

It'd be more dangerous if I overthought movements.

[miraclewhip]

I still- I just don't like it.

[ He's repeating himself. that's how you can tell that he doesn't have a real argument. That this isn't really what this is about. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[Damnit where's Sypha when you need her?]

Well, what would you have me do instead?

[miraclewhip]

I don't- I don't know.

[ SULKING. ]

It's the wrong way around. I don't know what the fuck to do when things are that way around. I'm not supposed to need protecting. Not made for it.

[ He has one (1) vaguely positive way of interacting with things, and it doesn't apply here! This is difficult. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[...Is that what this is about? Protecting?

Alucard pauses to consider the idea. It's....it sounds plausible enough, but he doesn't move beyond that thought yet.]

Logically you know we're both capable of holding our own, I'm sure.

[miraclewhip]

I know. I know.

[ That's what makes this frustrating. Or at least it's part of what makes this frustrating. He hates the image of either of them diving in to save him. And he knows that in so many situations it's the soundest strategy. Sypha can stop just about anything with a wall of ice thick enough. Alucard- is Alucard. He's human. Human and nonmagical. He doesn't doubt his combat skills, not even a little, it's more- his idea of his place in the world and his idea of his place in a sound strategy aren't even close to the same.

He was born to protect people. And the two people worth protecting don't need it. ]

I know that you don't need protecting. And I know that anything you did need protecting from would be so out of my fucking league that I wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. But- fuck.

[ No. No, he's trying. He's going to put this into words. ]

-but I don't like feeling like I can't make you safe. Even if I don't need to. It puts me on edge.

[cryptsleeper]

[It's obvious that Trevor at least knows that this situation is...it isn't strange, but it's an emotional need versus practical matters. He understands that much, and so Alucard nods quietly. Considers.]

Would it only have to be on the battlefield?

[miraclewhip]

I've only ever thought about it on the battlefield.

[ That's not entirely true. The truth is that it's easier with Sypha. She doesn't need him to keep her safe physically, but she's so much more open with her emotions and quick to say when she wants support than either of them. But that's a whole other level of difficult to talk about. It's going to be at least another year before the topic of 'expressing emotions is healthy' is on the table. ]

Where else would it be?

[cryptsleeper]

What about here?

[The battlefield can't be compromised. There's too much risk. But home? They can do home. Home is here. They can start here.

[miraclewhip]

Here.

[ He repeats it, at first sounding a little incredulous. What's he meant to protect them from here? Reading so much that their eyes crap out?

Actually yeah, they do need protecting from that. ]

Don't stand up.

[ He walks over while Alucard's still sitting down, almost experimentally. It's nice, towering over him like this. Even if it's just because he's standing and Alucard's sitting. ]

[cryptsleeper]

Very well.

[Alucard does remain seated. His eyes, however, move up and meet Trevor's, quietly wondering what it is the Belmont is thinking.]

[miraclewhip]

[ He just stands there for a while. Considering. Measuring. Balancing things against things against things in his head and coming to conclusions that can't easily be read on his face.

Then he bends, just a little, so that the top of Alucard's head comes just about up to his collar and wraps his arms around him tightly. Trying to pull him as close as possible. Trying to put himself between Alucard and the world as much as possible.

It's careful, almost experimental. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[It's the strangest waiting game Alucard's ever played with Trevor. And yet by the end of it, Alucard can't say he minds. Oh, yes, the angle is weird as hell, but the rest? He can't lie the rest is lovely.

So Alucard uses one hand to pat Trevor's forearm, soft and reassuring but saying nothing for the moment. That would ruin the experiment.]

[miraclewhip]

[ It's- yes. This is correct. And perhaps why he needs to be physically larger in order to feel like he's doing a better job of doing protecting should be something he examines at some point. But for now what matters is that this feels correct. This feels like Alucard throwing himself into danger is not, in fact, a sound strategy. Like he can protect him.

He feels safe. ]

This- this okay?

[ It doesn't matter if this makes him feel safe if it isn't, after all. ]

[cryptsleeper]

The angle's a little odd.

[He says it softly, with a laugh threaded under the statement.]

Sit down? The rest is perfectly fine.

[miraclewhip]

[ He pulls a chair over, sitting and returning to eye-level with Alucard. It's- a little disappointing to be back like this, but only a little. He reaches out a hand, touching the side of his face. ]

You don't need to be kept safe. But you deserve it. Deserve more than you'd ever accept.

[cryptsleeper]

...I had meant beside me.

[So maybe he's a little disappointed to be let go of, in spite of Trevor's tenderness. (Which draws a soft sigh out of the dhampir all the same.)]

But you do too.

[miraclewhip]

Oh. Right.

[ He switches seats to be next to Alucard instead of across from him, then reaches over to pull him downward to lean against his chest. It's still a little awkward, but it can be fine-tuned later. ]

Like this?

[ Look at him skillfully dodging that second statement. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[It is a little awkward. But Alucard figures out how to comfortably tuck his head under Trevor's chin, and with that? That's pretty cozy.]

I think this is fine.

[miraclewhip]

[ This is good. This is better. Makes him feel like he's in control, like he can make sure nothing goes wrong. He kisses the top of Alucard's head. ]

Good. This is- this is nice.

[ And it is. It's stupid, to want Alucard to be something delicate that he can look after, but it's nice, if only for a little while. ]

Can I try something else?

[cryptsleeper]

[It is nice, actually. Alucard has since figured out that he enjoys being held close after sex, but well.

Just being held at all is nice.]

Mmm, what is it?

[miraclewhip]

You'll see.

[ It takes him a little while to let go, but eventually he manages. This time, though, he doesn't move away. He just leans in, downward, low enough to hook an arm under Alucard's legs. Then enough around his shoulders. And he stands, lifting Alucard like he's some sort of swooning princess.

It's stupid, but it feels right. ]

[cryptsleeper]

Mmhmmm.

[It's a little doubtful, but in a way that's kind. All the doubt is pressed against Trevor's chest, and Alucard's eyes are almost closed when--

--nope. Trevor's hefting him up, and yes. It's silly. But it's such a warm and loving gesture that all Alucard really can do is readjust against Trevor's chest, resting one hand atop it and wrapping the other around his back.]

And where do you intend to take me?

[miraclewhip]

[ He gives a warm chuckle, the kind that sounds a lot like a dirty joke is going to follow. Probably something nasty with regard to 'taking'.

But it doesn't follow. He just pulls Alucard tightly to himself. ]

Maybe I just want to stay here, like this.