[ He has, in fact, given it thought. Perhaps not as Alucard has. He's been under no illusions of what a potential match would have to say about their husband to be sharing his bed with a servant. How difficult that his presence makes an already difficult process. It's part of this - the two resolutions that this can have. Alucard sacrifices marriage for him, at least during his own lifetime, and he isn't worth that. Or some time comes when they have to pretend none of this ever happened, and he's not sure that he could manage that. Even this time apart has been a lot to bear.
...god knows how it must have been for Alucard, who didn't have the luxury of choosing this.
That thought hits at the same time as Alucard's lips touch his, and even if he could bear to pull away he wouldn't. More than not pulling away, his arms coil around Alucard's chest. Pull him tighter against him. His beautiful, radiant prince. ]
[Alucard doesn't break the kiss. Not until they both need air, and at that point they're just tangled up in each other's arms. Alucard's hands on Trevor's cheeks and in his hair, stroking and holding him for the precious thing he is.
When he finally pulls away, his eyes meet Trevor's, not hiding the fear that even after this, he'll withdraw.]
[ He repeats, and that feels like it means more to him than an I love you. Because it is more than that. It's an acceptance of the way things are, that thing that he struggles so much to achieve.
He leans forward, resting his forehead on Alucard's collarbone. ]
[Alucard immediately buries his face into the top of Trevor's head. Doesn't kiss it, but he just rests there. Taking in the familiar scent, luxuriating in it's closeness. They've done this so many times and....
...and no wonder. No wonder it became romantic for Trevor first.]
Mmmm.
[And all of this is overly romantic isn't it? All declarations of love in front of a great and sweeping cityscape in the night, the moon overhead.]
[ He doesn't know what terrible thing he was expecting to happen. But it didn't. It didn't happen and they're both still here. Just them, with nothing ele to worry about until his brain decides it's time to worry about things again. ]
Yeah. It's- yeah.
[ He tries to take the lead, but he doesn't quite find himself able to. He doesn't know what he wants to do beyond just revelling in the contact that he's denied himself (denied both of them) for so long now. Left to his own devices he'd probably happily stay in Alucard's arms out here until they both froze. ]
(Which is to say that the castle will direct them where they need to be.
It is a sitting room attached to Alucard's royal suite. The one with overly
plush sofas and a roaring fire. It is there that Alucard parks them both.
Drags Trevor into his arms and stays there.)
Mmmm.
Il giorno martedì 14 gennaio 2020, miraclewhip - DW Comment <
dw_null@dreamwidth.org> ha scritto:
[ And so he's here. Half sitting, half leaning against Alucard. And he's happy. Really, truly happy. Still scared, still a little ashamed, partly infuriated that it was that easy. But mostly, happy. He's missed this. Missed the contact. Missed Alucard's own contentedness about it.
He's still certain that staying away would have been the right thing to do. But being here in Alucard's presence, knowing for sure that he's happy, presents a convincing argument. Or maybe it's just nice enough that it's hard to care that it isn't the right thing. ]
You'll tell me. The second this isn't right. The second this is- disgusting. The second you don't want me here anymore. You'll tell me?
And I'll just- assume that you're happy for me to stay until you do.
Oh, I think we'll find all sorts of ways to be miserable. World is good at that shit.
[ He tugs the blanket a little tighter. Just like before. Just like before, just- moreso, maybe. In a few ways. Carefully, almost experimentally, he kisses Alucard's cheek. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...god knows how it must have been for Alucard, who didn't have the luxury of choosing this.
That thought hits at the same time as Alucard's lips touch his, and even if he could bear to pull away he wouldn't. More than not pulling away, his arms coil around Alucard's chest. Pull him tighter against him. His beautiful, radiant prince. ]
no subject
When he finally pulls away, his eyes meet Trevor's, not hiding the fear that even after this, he'll withdraw.]
Trevor?
no subject
[ He repeats, and that feels like it means more to him than an I love you. Because it is more than that. It's an acceptance of the way things are, that thing that he struggles so much to achieve.
He leans forward, resting his forehead on Alucard's collarbone. ]
So be it.
no subject
...and no wonder. No wonder it became romantic for Trevor first.]
Mmmm.
[And all of this is overly romantic isn't it? All declarations of love in front of a great and sweeping cityscape in the night, the moon overhead.]
Let's go inside and warm up
no subject
Yeah. It's- yeah.
[ He tries to take the lead, but he doesn't quite find himself able to. He doesn't know what he wants to do beyond just revelling in the contact that he's denied himself (denied both of them) for so long now. Left to his own devices he'd probably happily stay in Alucard's arms out here until they both froze. ]
Where are we going?
no subject
Somewhere warm.
(Which is to say that the castle will direct them where they need to be.
It is a sitting room attached to Alucard's royal suite. The one with overly plush sofas and a roaring fire. It is there that Alucard parks them both. Drags Trevor into his arms and stays there.)
Mmmm.
Il giorno martedì 14 gennaio 2020, miraclewhip - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> ha scritto:
no subject
He's still certain that staying away would have been the right thing to do. But being here in Alucard's presence, knowing for sure that he's happy, presents a convincing argument. Or maybe it's just nice enough that it's hard to care that it isn't the right thing. ]
You'll tell me. The second this isn't right. The second this is- disgusting. The second you don't want me here anymore. You'll tell me?
And I'll just- assume that you're happy for me to stay until you do.
no subject
[He doesn't shush Trevor. He wants to, but this moment is so much more important.
With a wave of his fingers, a blanket floats over, wrapping around them both.]
But I have you. How can I be unhappy?
no subject
[ He tugs the blanket a little tighter. Just like before. Just like before, just- moreso, maybe. In a few ways. Carefully, almost experimentally, he kisses Alucard's cheek. ]
Just not tonight.