[ There's no sense in pretending that the Alucard they've returned to is the one they left. Not when Sypha's asleep. It's hard enough some days to pretend that the Alucard they returned to is one that they can grow to care for.
He'd have given up a long time ago, except that every time he thinks about it he remembers that Sypha never gave up on him. ]
I don't think we're ever going to. Same way you'll never really find a Belmont, just a pale imitation. Same way nobody's ever going to find a mad speaker who thinks exploding goat shit is fun.
[He wants them to think that they can't care for the thing they returned to. He had killed in self defense, and they could stomach that. But the impalement? That's the line. It's been crossed. He doesn't deserve their affection.
He still doesn't understand why they're pretending otherwise.]
...Of course you two did.
[Had wonderful time on the road together, goat shit and all.]
You don't have to stay. Those other two people sound as if they can come back.
[ He shakes his head, staring up at the darkness. ]
The Belmont hasn't existed in a decade, for a start. And the speaker- you don't just un-learn things like that. Best you can hope for is to get so caught up in the orbit of someone who doesn't know yet that you forget them for a while.
We're all beyond hope, Alucard. Just like maybe this whole fucking place is, up here and down in the hold.
[ He knows Alucard can't take it, but he extends a hand anyway. Just lays it on the bed between the two of them. It's useless, but it feels correct to reach out. ]
If we can be beyond hope together. It's- better, that way.
[But the dhampir's tone suggests that yes, he'll take that idea to heart. That he'll curl up soon and let it bounce around in his head, and then go from there.
This is a little too much. Alucard shrinks on himself.]
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[ There's no sense in pretending that the Alucard they've returned to is the one they left. Not when Sypha's asleep. It's hard enough some days to pretend that the Alucard they returned to is one that they can grow to care for.
He'd have given up a long time ago, except that every time he thinks about it he remembers that Sypha never gave up on him. ]
I don't think we're ever going to. Same way you'll never really find a Belmont, just a pale imitation. Same way nobody's ever going to find a mad speaker who thinks exploding goat shit is fun.
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He still doesn't understand why they're pretending otherwise.]
...Of course you two did.
[Had wonderful time on the road together, goat shit and all.]
You don't have to stay. Those other two people sound as if they can come back.
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[ He shakes his head, staring up at the darkness. ]
The Belmont hasn't existed in a decade, for a start. And the speaker- you don't just un-learn things like that. Best you can hope for is to get so caught up in the orbit of someone who doesn't know yet that you forget them for a while.
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[It's just a sad pit now.]
I...I do appreciate that you're trying. I do.
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[ He knows Alucard can't take it, but he extends a hand anyway. Just lays it on the bed between the two of them. It's useless, but it feels correct to reach out. ]
If we can be beyond hope together. It's- better, that way.
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[But the dhampir's tone suggests that yes, he'll take that idea to heart. That he'll curl up soon and let it bounce around in his head, and then go from there.
This is a little too much. Alucard shrinks on himself.]
Get some sleep, Belmont.