[ He's glad for the instruction and for the change of topic. It's hard not to feel like he's doing something wrong with this, like he's stepping clumsily when one misstep might ruin the wonderful thing he's found. ]
I could just- let you go. If it's too warm.
[ He could. He even has, a few times. Lurked around Alucard's bed as a swarm of moths covering the wall and looking down at him. It was probably not the most romantic thing in the world. But he won't let go. Not really. Not unless he's asked to. He'll just joke about it, and pull Alucard all the closer as he gathers him up in his arms to stand. ]
[Alucard's so pleased to have that cooling blanket. To be able to be pressed against Trevor and enjoy being close without being overwhelmed or overheated in Istanbul's horrible summers.
And it is hot, even resting against Trevor's chest. Going through the routine of snuggling close and murmuring every soft word that he can against Trevor's neck, until they're upstairs and changed for bed. Even after that, when he's drifting in Trevor's arms, soft and safe and cool.]
Alucard rarely uses magic, but he's not convinced that that isn't what those words mumbled against his chest are. They make his mind slow, his eyelids heavy. His body tired in the good way. He doesn't fully untangle from Alucard even as they change. Even if that makes the process difficult.
And when they are changed he lies next to Alucard. The blanket he pulls over them is cool and crisp, the way clean sheets are on a summer evening, but with the weight of something warmer and enchanted to stay that way through the night. He rests a hand on Alucard's cheek, moving close to kiss him. ]
[In the dark, Alucard still knows when Trevor's going in for a kiss. He can feel it by movement alone. He knows how to angle his head upwards juuuust right in turn, and that even in the dark, Trevor can see his smile.]
[ There's a difference, between light and dark. It changes the colours. Makes Alucard's hair silver instead of gold. His skin bluer and paler. But he can see as well as he can by day.
It's a blessing, because it means he can see Alucard when he's like this. Tired and unguarded. Means that if he can't sleep he can just watch. Memorise the shapes of his face. Watch as he moves his own hair just slightly with his breath.
It means he can see that smile, and he kisses again because Alucard can't see him smile in turn, only feel it. ]
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[ Things happen in order. Right. He shakes his head, then hides his face in Alucard's hair. ]
In the morning. We can figure out how all of this works.
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[The easiest way to fix this.]
We'll need the cooling blanket tonight, I think.
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[ He's glad for the instruction and for the change of topic. It's hard not to feel like he's doing something wrong with this, like he's stepping clumsily when one misstep might ruin the wonderful thing he's found. ]
I could just- let you go. If it's too warm.
[ He could. He even has, a few times. Lurked around Alucard's bed as a swarm of moths covering the wall and looking down at him. It was probably not the most romantic thing in the world. But he won't let go. Not really. Not unless he's asked to. He'll just joke about it, and pull Alucard all the closer as he gathers him up in his arms to stand. ]
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[Alucard's so pleased to have that cooling blanket. To be able to be pressed against Trevor and enjoy being close without being overwhelmed or overheated in Istanbul's horrible summers.
And it is hot, even resting against Trevor's chest. Going through the routine of snuggling close and murmuring every soft word that he can against Trevor's neck, until they're upstairs and changed for bed. Even after that, when he's drifting in Trevor's arms, soft and safe and cool.]
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[ Never.
Alucard rarely uses magic, but he's not convinced that that isn't what those words mumbled against his chest are. They make his mind slow, his eyelids heavy. His body tired in the good way. He doesn't fully untangle from Alucard even as they change. Even if that makes the process difficult.
And when they are changed he lies next to Alucard. The blanket he pulls over them is cool and crisp, the way clean sheets are on a summer evening, but with the weight of something warmer and enchanted to stay that way through the night. He rests a hand on Alucard's cheek, moving close to kiss him. ]
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I love you.
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It's a blessing, because it means he can see Alucard when he's like this. Tired and unguarded. Means that if he can't sleep he can just watch. Memorise the shapes of his face. Watch as he moves his own hair just slightly with his breath.
It means he can see that smile, and he kisses again because Alucard can't see him smile in turn, only feel it. ]
I know. And I'm so, so fortunate for it.