with willpowerful

[cryptsleeper]

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[matercula]

He had them made, after I said yes. He was very proper about it — I think every cottage in Lupu wound up with some sort of gift, and certainly my parents had a whole chest of them. Not as a bride-price or anything like that — he hated the idea almost as much as I did — but I recall it was important to him, that lavishing of gifts. Paying his respects, I think, was how he saw it.

[She hums softly, her eyes closing halfway as she thinks back, collecting every detail she can.]

I had a necklace originally — it might still be in my old rooms, somewhere. And then we agreed on a sensible period of engagement, a few months, and then at the end of that few months, we had me kidnapped by a few of his generals, and after rescuing me and proving his worthiness in combat, the rings went on and that was that.

[cryptsleeper]

[There's a smile that endures. An entire village given gifs (he doesn't think horrid thoughts about those who betrayed her for it later, that's for Awake Alucard.)

And then...his generals. And it is ridiculous beyond words, and all Alucard can do is laugh. Laugh because images in his head are delightful. Laughs because it's too much of his father. Laughs because why did he expect anything else?]

I think that....that might be a bit overkill in my case.

[However Sypha's going to love this story.]

[matercula]

It was a very pleasant kidnapping, I'll have you know. I met all of my abductors in advance, and we all visited the appointed place where I was to be taken, and Vlad personally threatened each and every one of them with the terrible vengeance he would visit on them if a single hair on my head — well, you can guess how that went. They were very respectful about the theft of my person.

[The or else is so palpable in that last remark.]

Thinking of what you'll do for your own loved ones, are you?

[cryptsleeper]

I did figure that it was all pointedly prearranged and the standard threats were issued.

[He remembers the standard threats, at least. Bore witness to quite a few too.]


Mm. I don't expect things to change, and there's only a lifetime.

[For once, he manages to articulate that thought without sinking into a terrible fit of other depressed thoughts.]

[matercula]

You could, I suppose, go a bit lighter on the theatrics than he did.

[She tugs on his hair again, then reaches up to rest her hand against his cheek.]

But the principles are there. Respect their own loved ones, seal your promises. And try to make them laugh at least once, in the process.

[cryptsleeper]

I feel that I might surprise them more if I did none at all.

[He's the overdramatic fuck, so it'd be fun to throw the insult in their faces. Then the dramatics can happen in full.

Maybe it's pointless to point out that Trevor's about as alone as he is when it comes to extended family. Sypha's caravan, that's it. And maybe any rites that are done should be according to those customs.

Alucard pauses, then kisses the hand that rests on his cheek.]

I may just be laughing at their face, but...

[matercula]

No plans to kidnap Trevor, then?

[He's so gentle, so sweet; she never gets tired of his little notes of affection, even as she offers him up her own in return. This, he got from her, and the rhythm of exchanging these little touches is so familiar.]

I'm sure he'd be thrilled to be won in combat.

[cryptsleeper]

Hmmm, do I want the endless complaints in the process?

[matercula]

Something to reminisce about on your first anniversary.

[cryptsleeper]

[Oh. There's a dangerous idea.]

I just do that on the first anniversary. False sense of security.

[matercula]

You'd best get to work acquiring some generals, then.

[She pauses, reminiscing idly.]

Do you remember the one that could turn into a mist? A female vampire, she visited once or twice. We had a very pleasant time together, while I was abducted and out of commission.

[cryptsleeper]

I think that's a bridge too far.

[The mere idea of having any more than three in the castle is a bridge too far at the moment.]

But I do remember her, yes. I was likely older for that visit.

[matercula]

Mm. She was the ringleader of my kidnapping. There were a few others who answered to her for the purposes of the endeavor.

[She laughs softly.]

I'm afraid most of them didn't quite know what to do with me, I think. I suppose for them it was the equivalent of being told to cart, I don't know, a highly-prized goat to a woodshed somewhere and watch over it until its owner came to fetch it.

[cryptsleeper]

Most of them have that disconnect.

[Alucard doesn't know what's going on in the waking world. He's sure he doesn't care to know at the moment, because this conversation is so...so blissfully normal. He has his normal with the other two, but with his mother is so much more important.]

I don't think I could live with that kind of thinking. Beyond what I already have.

[matercula]

That's because I raised you with good sense.

[Well, and Vlad helped, but we all know where a lot of the good sense came from.]

So. Speaking of good sense, is there anything else you want to know about your father and I?

[cryptsleeper]

Hm. You were doing double duty at the time.

[He's just saying.]

That...hadn't actually been the point of the question. Not initially. [But there's one natural question to ask now:]

How badly did you yell at him after...everything?

[matercula]

...Oh.

[Oh, right. Of course. That. He would want to know, wouldn't he?

...Well. Maybe it's not about want, precisely. But certainly he needs to know.]

I couldn't speak to him, at first. I was so...

[...]

I knew I'd say something I'd wish I could take back later. So I didn't — we didn't speak. Later, I found the words.

[Translation: and then she screamed.]

[cryptsleeper]

[It is very much a matter of need. And Alucard nods, knowing that he's directed this conversation away from the lightness of reunion. His own edification isn't a requirement but...well.

Knowing is better than always wondering.]

I can't say I'm surprised.

[matercula]

It would've been one thing, if —

[She stops short, the train of thought falling away as an expression of hurt and melancholy drifts across her features, and when she picks it up again, it's much more quietly.]

I would've understood, at least, if it'd only been his way of grieving. I wouldn't have agreed with it, but he is what he is. I never thought I could make him a man instead of a monster; I only tried to encourage more of the one in the other.

[She presses her lips into a thin line.]

But to do it in my name — he knew I wouldn't have wanted — he knew I would never have wanted —

[cryptsleeper]

[The arms around his mother grow tighter. Squeeze gently. Because in the end, everything that was, it was about how his mother would feel about the matter. That's all it ever was, just one family's heartbreak destroying an entire country along with themselves.]

I know.

[Knowledge that had driven everything to it's horrible end.]

And where do you both stand now?

[matercula]

When the two of you wound up in your old room...I think that was the first time he truly remembered me in a year of his grief. Not just the shadows of my memory that haunted him.

[She draws in a breath she doesn't need, and lets it out again, simply because.]

I still love him. He still loves me. What he did to you in particular haunts him the most — I don't think he regrets the rest of it much, even now. We...

[She closes her eyes, turning her face away.]

I'm still furious. But I can't bear the thought of being away from him.

[cryptsleeper]

Yes, that part was very obvious in the moment.

[He would like to move away from that terrible memory, thanks mom. Alucard's worked very hard to find ways to deal with all of that, because in that horrid little moment he had hoped that maybe the insane patricide quest might have been stopped.]

You get all the time to find a way through it now.

[Her face is away, but Alucard rests his face on the top of his mother's head. Just a warm weight. Just there.]

[matercula]

I missed him so much.

[This is an awkward, embarrassing thing for a mother to be admitting to her son, of all people, but here she is, and so it goes. She leans heavily against him, holding on as if seeking his support and his warmth.]

...Do you want to see him? If we were able to visit you again.

[cryptsleeper]

[Awkward, maybe. But honest. And utterly unsurprising, because his parents were practically on top of each other most nights Alucard remembers. It was ridiculous, still is when he reflects on those memories, but it also defined them.

The question isn't an easy one to answer.]

I think that'd need to be a very, very long dream.

[Which is not to say no, but it would be much messier than this.]

How are you managing this anyway?

[matercula]

It's as much you as it is me, I think. I'm loath to try to explain it without proper evidence, but my guess is that it's some sort of psychic resonance. Likely in a similar vein as the way you call your sword to you, only here what you've pulled is...me.

[She shrugs a little, though her mood does seem to perk up a touch at the prospect of scientific theory.]

Is there anything different about tonight, from what you do normally?