Don't say that word, please. [He sounds genuinely pained at the mere thought.
With that, Alucard walks over, and sits himself down on the ground. He has no qualms about that, and with the fire, it is a warm enough spring night. It is only then that Alucard removes the chain from the pocket of his coat and puts it aside.
The ward wears off at once. Alucard is not obscured anymore, but he is still that thing of ice that has always shown it's face to Trevor.]
[ The change is immediate. The agitation returns, but this time it's excited. And he's barely opened his mouth before the speaker whispers something in his ear.
It isn't really a reasonable request, not to call his husband his husband. But he follows it regardless as he scrambles to sit at Alucard's side, positioning himself to be sat close but not touching. ]
You missed me. [ There's a note of satisfaction to it, and Sypha winces just a little. ]
I'll- let you talk. [ It's for Alucard's sake, mostly, so he doesn't have to have the pressure of an audience for this conversation. ]
Thank you. [And to Sypha, he adds a request, that she stay within earshot. Speakers would understand the real meaning of "we need to talk," after all, and this one seems to understand the situation.
Alucard turns a little, so that he's sitting more across from Trevor than before. So he can hold full eye contact.]
Fae. [He doesn't have the man's name, after all.] Do you know how courting differs between this world and your own?
[ He considers the question. He understands that humans have their own rituals for courtship. Leon had had a bride once, a human one. Some of the speakers are married, or at least a speaker's version of such. But those examples are few, and the ones that he has hunted down are many. ]
Humans beat their wives and husbands and put poison in their meals.
[ He says it matter-of-factly, like that's simply his understanding of human courtship. Until the speakers, and side from Alucard, his time with humans has been limited. He only really sees the ones he hunts, which means he only really sees the monsters. ]
[Alucard breathes out. This is harder than he thought.]
My father did not walk up to my mother in the middle of the night, declare her his wife, and take her with him. Such action, that would be considered monstrous by many. They were friends first. They knew who each other were, and then they decided they wanted to be husband and wife.
[He wants that part to connect.]
You can't walk into my life, declare a thing, and expect it to be so.
That's....okay, that is in fact correct, but beyond that, you've proven my point.
[Alucard's glad for the speaker's presence. That much he knows for sure.]
I don't want happy to be your focus. I don't want marriage to be your focus. These kinds of things, they happen naturally or they don't happen at all. And...
[Alucard breathes out.]
Do you understand that what you say normally terrifies me?
You understand what it is to hunt monsters. You say those things, and to me it sounds like another hunt, even if your intentions seem good on your end. You haven't asked if I wanted any of those things either.
[He leaves aside the fact that it'd be a terrible idea because he's the son of Dracula.]
I like being here. Doing things for myself. Having the freedom to pick what I do and don't want. What you're describing sounds like death to me.
[ He is quiet for a long while, turning that over in his head. Humans like to be safe. They like knowing that there will be a next meal, and that nothing will hurt them. They like being given things that make them happy. He knows all of this. It's strange that Alucard wouldn't want those things. ]
You- want to be free to go to places that aren't safe. if you want to?
But then you would go away and not come back. Or be hurt.
[ He frowns at that, even if he is overjoyed that his husband is talking to him! Properly! And not even stabbing him! There are a lot of things that hurt people, in the world. He never would have run into Alucard if there weren't, after all. ]
[ He brightens, as if he's found a really obvious solution to this, but the sudden laughter from Sypha seems to indicate that he's misunderstood. Frowning in concentration, he tries a little harder. ]
You like- that you could be hurt. But not the being hurt?
[ He tilts his head, trying to consider how to explain hunting best. ]
From knowing that the monster has been hurting things and are scared of being hurt themselves, in Leon's hunts. And from chasing them. And from when they almost escape, and they think that they've gone unpunished, but you catch them anyway. And the meat. And from grinding their bones into meal and seeing the people they hurt picking flowers grown from their bodies. Or carving them into flutes and turning them into music.
[ As he speaks, his wings flick at the thought of it, eyes too bright and grin too wide. ]
[Okay, not as helpful as he thought. Alucard sighs, casting a side glance back to the speaker. They're better with words, aren't they? He's failing here, and he can feel himself failing. It's an unpleasant feeling.]
Doing all of of those things are choices you make. Choices that you make because they benefit you or give you pleasure in some way. They're also choices that have risks involved in them, because you could get hurt on a hunt. Or maybe someone will see you who shouldn't. But you make those choices all the same.
Where you go between hunts, those are choices to. Your will, your whim.
I don't even know if I want a husband. Or a wife. Or anyone. I need to learn those things in my own time, and being declared someone else's husband denies me that.
[Those words are automatic and accidental, but in them there's honesty. The messy kind that isn't careful and thought out, the approach that needs to be done with the fae.
But it is too late. The words have been said, and Alucard knows he must own them.]
You...you can't think of me as a given. Or as yours already, or husband, or any other preconcieved notion that you've built up based on what, meeting me three times over seven years? That is the first part of this. Think of me as you think of the people here. Individuals you're meeting. Getting to know. Working alongside with.
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With that, Alucard walks over, and sits himself down on the ground. He has no qualms about that, and with the fire, it is a warm enough spring night. It is only then that Alucard removes the chain from the pocket of his coat and puts it aside.
The ward wears off at once. Alucard is not obscured anymore, but he is still that thing of ice that has always shown it's face to Trevor.]
We need to speak.
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It isn't really a reasonable request, not to call his husband his husband. But he follows it regardless as he scrambles to sit at Alucard's side, positioning himself to be sat close but not touching. ]
You missed me. [ There's a note of satisfaction to it, and Sypha winces just a little. ]
I'll- let you talk. [ It's for Alucard's sake, mostly, so he doesn't have to have the pressure of an audience for this conversation. ]
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Alucard turns a little, so that he's sitting more across from Trevor than before. So he can hold full eye contact.]
Fae. [He doesn't have the man's name, after all.] Do you know how courting differs between this world and your own?
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Humans beat their wives and husbands and put poison in their meals.
[ He says it matter-of-factly, like that's simply his understanding of human courtship. Until the speakers, and side from Alucard, his time with humans has been limited. He only really sees the ones he hunts, which means he only really sees the monsters. ]
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[Alucard breathes out. This is harder than he thought.]
My father did not walk up to my mother in the middle of the night, declare her his wife, and take her with him. Such action, that would be considered monstrous by many. They were friends first. They knew who each other were, and then they decided they wanted to be husband and wife.
[He wants that part to connect.]
You can't walk into my life, declare a thing, and expect it to be so.
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I know who you are. You are half of a vampire. And you like books. And you like stabbing me. And you don't like me touching your hair.
[ HE KNOWS SO MANY GOOD ALUCARD FACTS. Is that good enough to do a marry???? ]
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No. You know things about me. Facts. What do you know of my personality? Why I am the way I am?
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[ There's a snort of laughter from Sypha, and he glares at her. Rude. He's trying! ]
If I learned more about you, would that make you happy?
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[Alucard's glad for the speaker's presence. That much he knows for sure.]
I don't want happy to be your focus. I don't want marriage to be your focus. These kinds of things, they happen naturally or they don't happen at all. And...
[Alucard breathes out.]
Do you understand that what you say normally terrifies me?
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[ So no. No, he doesn't. ]
I do. But I wouldn't.
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[ He seems genuinely confused by it. ]
I wouldn't hurt you. And you would be safe and I would bring you books and food and blood and whatever else you wanted.
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[The response is emphatic. Underlining the word.]
You understand what it is to hunt monsters. You say those things, and to me it sounds like another hunt, even if your intentions seem good on your end. You haven't asked if I wanted any of those things either.
[He leaves aside the fact that it'd be a terrible idea because he's the son of Dracula.]
I like being here. Doing things for myself. Having the freedom to pick what I do and don't want. What you're describing sounds like death to me.
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You- want to be free to go to places that aren't safe. if you want to?
[ It's a difficult concept. ]
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[Alucard doesn't know how much of this is really getting through. But it feels like the fae is making an effort. That is worth an awful lot]
You'll learn more from being around other humans as well.
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[ He frowns at that, even if he is overjoyed that his husband is talking to him! Properly! And not even stabbing him! There are a lot of things that hurt people, in the world. He never would have run into Alucard if there weren't, after all. ]
I don't like it.
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[ He brightens, as if he's found a really obvious solution to this, but the sudden laughter from Sypha seems to indicate that he's misunderstood. Frowning in concentration, he tries a little harder. ]
You like- that you could be hurt. But not the being hurt?
[ This makes so little sense to him. ]
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[He very much likes this speaker. She has a good humor to her.
Alucard pauses, considering how to make sense of this for the fae.]
When you hunt, is there a thrill to it? Where does that sense come from?
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From knowing that the monster has been hurting things and are scared of being hurt themselves, in Leon's hunts. And from chasing them. And from when they almost escape, and they think that they've gone unpunished, but you catch them anyway. And the meat. And from grinding their bones into meal and seeing the people they hurt picking flowers grown from their bodies. Or carving them into flutes and turning them into music.
[ As he speaks, his wings flick at the thought of it, eyes too bright and grin too wide. ]
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Doing all of of those things are choices you make. Choices that you make because they benefit you or give you pleasure in some way. They're also choices that have risks involved in them, because you could get hurt on a hunt. Or maybe someone will see you who shouldn't. But you make those choices all the same.
Where you go between hunts, those are choices to. Your will, your whim.
Why would you deny that to others?
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Is there a better way? [ He asks eventually, cautiously. ] To make you not go away and find a different husband? I don't want that to happen.
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[Those words are automatic and accidental, but in them there's honesty. The messy kind that isn't careful and thought out, the approach that needs to be done with the fae.
But it is too late. The words have been said, and Alucard knows he must own them.]
You...you can't think of me as a given. Or as yours already, or husband, or any other preconcieved notion that you've built up based on what, meeting me three times over seven years? That is the first part of this. Think of me as you think of the people here. Individuals you're meeting. Getting to know. Working alongside with.
I understand this hurts.
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And there is nothing I can give you to change that?
[ It's pointless to ask. He knows it is. But making deals is what his kind does. ]
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[A single word, all too firm.]
Will is important. Mine is equal and as great as yours. Let us begin there, and see where things unfold. Who knows where the future goes from here.
[There is a pause, then a softer, more apologetic tone.]
And believe me when I say this? This is better than what would have been the fall out of doing things your way.
[Alucard 200% knows his father would start shit with the fae to get his son back. He'd rather not be Helen of House Tepes, thank you.]
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