[Hector ducks into the alcove where Dracula kept his strange ice box. He takes a deep, steadying breath, then pulls out the bowl of chilling yogurt.
Gods, he has so many more feelings about Dracula than he does his own parents.
He gives the yogurt a quick stir, silently declares that it is coming along nicely, then returns to the main kitchen area with, hopefully, no sign of any unsightly emotions.]
Alright, let me see...
[He assesses a sampling from both groups. Pockets achieved in each...a uniform color on the oven-baked, some crisp dark spots on the stove-baked for extra texture.... Of course Alucard would have to pick this up like he does everything else, the smug, infuriating bastard.
...so like his father...]
They are both good. It’s a matter of personal preference whether you prefer them soft or crisp.
{Alucard sniffs at the air as Hector departs. The smell isn't terribly strong, but the yogurt has only aged over night. Besides, that's not the point. The cucumber is the point.
Paul Hollywood's Hector's return comes with a dhampir who watches the entire matter progress. He leans in a little, intrigued. Wanting the judgement and...]
[No soggy bottoms allowed. Hector places the yogurt down and starts assembling the ingredients for the tzatziki.]
I prefer them crispy. It's what I grew up with.
[There is very little he remembers fondly of his childhood, but this memory, this preference remains.]
Did you have a chance to check on the lemons? I could fetch them while you finish those. I won't start on the sauce until you can give it your full attention.
[Hector takes up the two little lemons and squeezes one. It is more rind than fruit, but he can probably get enough juice.]
It'll be enough to help flavor the sauce. We can use oil as well.
[He takes a knife and starts peeling cucumbers. That step, he has full faith Alucard can manage on his own, so there's no need for him to wait so Alucard can observe it.]
Have you tried your pitas yet? Make at least a few whichever way you prefer them.
There should be some kind of grating device to your left in the cabinets below. If you believe adding some of the rind would help, then take advantage of it.
[Dracula invented the zester send tweet.]
In truth, I was biased towards crisp anyway.
[Sometimes a vampire just really likes to gnaw on something. It's good for the fangs, or so that's the lie Alucard's going with.
Regardless, he keeps going with the bread, having only four pitas left.]
[Well, might as well take advantage of all the technology the castle has to offer. Hector retrieves the tool from the cabinet and gives it a try. After attacking it from a couple of different directions, he falls into a rhythm.]
See, I told you that was the way to make them.
[Don't ever question his judgement again...on this one very limited context. Question just about every other life choice he makes.]
Basically, we need to grate the cucumber and mince the garlic, then it's just a matter of combining it all and letting it chill a little longer. We can switch off; I'll take garlic, you finish this.
[In deference to that super-human sense of smell, though he knows it won't hurt Alucard.]
I think there's a second if you'd like to take it with you.
[Alucard only lets out a snort-laugh at Hector's smugness on Proper Pita Preparation. On topics of food, it may be easier to yield to the necromancer. But only food.]
Are you offering to take the garlic because you're simply offering, or are you afraid I'll have an allergic reaction?
[Hector hands over a couple of large cloves. Alucard, don't kill yourself via garlic just to impress this loser.]
I am not one to skimp on garlic, but that is plenty for the size of the batch we're making. We don't want one element overwhelming it.
[He turns back to his grated cucumbers. Idiot. Hector is supposed to be instructing, not babysitting.
He gets to the end of the cucumber, and of course because he's more focused on keeping an eye on Alucard than on his task, he manages to nick his finger along with the last bit of cuke.]
[And make a point. Alucard goes about working with the garlic with no issue at all, seemingly all too content doing the work. He almost hums as he works.
A sudden sharp scent fills the air. Alucard's nostrils flare.]
Bandages are in the cabinet to your right. Second shelf. It'll be int he first aid kit.
[Yes, Hector can see how tough and not affected by vampire stereotypes Alucard is. He’ll be sun tanning next.
Hector sucks on his finger on the way to first aid kit, tasting cucumber and blood, at least he didn’t get any mixed in with the grated cucumber. Once he cleans the grater and throws that last bloody stump of the vegetable...and bandages his finger, a distant third concern...the damage will be undone.
He washes his hand and wraps up his finger with a little strip of cloth. There, good as new.]
Come watch this next step. It’s important. We need to drain the cucumber before we add it in.
Or maybe he'll just make a point of not reacting to the smell of blood in the air. Until Hector's back is turned. And he checks the grater for any blood.
Nope. He wasn't gonna lick it or anything that'd be gross.]
[Hector knows where the cloth is, and he grabs some on his way back. He lays it out and uses his non-injured hand to start transferring the grated pile over.]
We’re trying to get as much moisture out as we can do it doesn’t water down the sauce. Old Greek grandmas will tell you to drain it overnight, but this works just as well and doesn’t waste time.
[He gestures for Alucard to take the cloth. He’s got a bandage to keep dry.]
[It's nice, having someone who knows the kitchen so well. Alucard has seen Trevor and Sypha in the kitchen before, but they're not good for kitchen collaboration. Trevor will eat just about anything, and Sypha always makes far too much. It's understandable given their circumstances, but still. Annoying.
There's a laugh at the mention of Old Greek Grandmas though.]
Would salting it help too?
[All the same, Alucard takes the cloth and begins to wring the moisture out. There's a lot, and dhampir strength? That's super good at helping the process along as it turns out.]
[Well, Alucard, you're you. So we should probably expect this on some level.
But at any rate, Alucard simply hovers a respectful distance to Hector's left, watching. It's nice, not being the one to do the cooking. Learning by doing, like he did so many times in this space from--
--you know what, that's a thought he doesn't need at the moment.]
This makes a rather large batch, all things considered. How long does it tend to keep?
Here, with the ice box you have, it will keep for a handful of days. If we were not in a house of technological marvels, you would want to finish it in a day or so.
[It is typically no hardship, if you are hungry enough, or if you are the type of person to have friends to share it. Hector sometimes fulfills one of those requirements.]
Are you expecting your humans back within that time? If not, I can take some of it back with me.
[No wonder Alucard was in such desparate need of petting and perhaps why he didn't get a sword through the chest for daring to kiss him. Hector privately thinks the Belmont and the Speaker are idiots of the highest order for leaving Alucard for any reason. Not that it is any of his business. None at all. Anyways...]
That is right, you have never been to my home. You could come by sometime, see the lab, if you wanted.
[The kitchen is pretty bare bones, but he has a tiny stove. He won't starve to death unless, of course, he gets too distracted with his work to remember to eat.]
[The sad truth of the matter is, if SOMEONE hadn't helped, other more vampiric someones would have, and there would have been even less survivors than there are.]
It takes me about half a day to walk it. You could likely cover the distance much faster with four legs.
[Or wings or vaporous mist or whatever other forms he has.]
Why would it? So long as you don't draw attention to yourself on the way in, it shouldn't.
[Hector has a little cabin on the side of a mountain, and he's kept a pretty low profile since the war ended. There are nothing more than vague rumors about him in the nearest village, and the humans are too scared and weak to come up and substantiate them.]
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Gods, he has so many more feelings about Dracula than he does his own parents.
He gives the yogurt a quick stir, silently declares that it is coming along nicely, then returns to the main kitchen area with, hopefully, no sign of any unsightly emotions.]
Alright, let me see...
[He assesses a sampling from both groups. Pockets achieved in each...a uniform color on the oven-baked, some crisp dark spots on the stove-baked for extra texture.... Of course Alucard would have to pick this up like he does everything else, the smug, infuriating bastard.
...so like his father...]
They are both good. It’s a matter of personal preference whether you prefer them soft or crisp.
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Paul Hollywood'sHector's return comes with a dhampir who watches the entire matter progress. He leans in a little, intrigued. Wanting the judgement and...]Well, what's yours? Preference I mean.
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No soggy bottoms allowed.Hector places the yogurt down and starts assembling the ingredients for the tzatziki.]I prefer them crispy. It's what I grew up with.
[There is very little he remembers fondly of his childhood, but this memory, this preference remains.]
Did you have a chance to check on the lemons? I could fetch them while you finish those. I won't start on the sauce until you can give it your full attention.
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[Easy enough to do.
Alucard does pause though, and he motions to a little terra cotta bowl to his left. With two veeeery tiny lemons.]
I'm not sure that they'll be big enough, unfortunately, but I did try
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It'll be enough to help flavor the sauce. We can use oil as well.
[He takes a knife and starts peeling cucumbers. That step, he has full faith Alucard can manage on his own, so there's no need for him to wait so Alucard can observe it.]
Have you tried your pitas yet? Make at least a few whichever way you prefer them.
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[Dracula invented the zester send tweet.]
In truth, I was biased towards crisp anyway.
[Sometimes a vampire just really likes to gnaw on something. It's good for the fangs, or so that's the lie Alucard's going with.
Regardless, he keeps going with the bread, having only four pitas left.]
Once I'm done, what do you need next?
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[Well, might as well take advantage of all the technology the castle has to offer. Hector retrieves the tool from the cabinet and gives it a try. After attacking it from a couple of different directions, he falls into a rhythm.]
See, I told you that was the way to make them.
[Don't ever question his judgement again...on this one very limited context. Question just about every other life choice he makes.]
Basically, we need to grate the cucumber and mince the garlic, then it's just a matter of combining it all and letting it chill a little longer. We can switch off; I'll take garlic, you finish this.
[In deference to that super-human sense of smell, though he knows it won't hurt Alucard.]
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[Alucard only lets out a snort-laugh at Hector's smugness on Proper Pita Preparation. On topics of food, it may be easier to yield to the necromancer. But only food.]
Are you offering to take the garlic because you're simply offering, or are you afraid I'll have an allergic reaction?
[From Alucard's tone, that might be a joke.]
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grategreat.]What, do you think I'm the type to worry about you?
[Man, you kiss a guy and spend all evening petting him and suddenly all of your motives are in question...]
If you want to do the garlic, feel free....
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How many cloves then? Half a head?
[Alucard holds his hand out and wiggles his fingers. Give garlic plz and thank.]
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Alucard, don't kill yourself via garlic just to impress this loser.]I am not one to skimp on garlic, but that is plenty for the size of the batch we're making. We don't want one element overwhelming it.
[He turns back to his grated cucumbers. Idiot. Hector is supposed to be instructing, not babysitting.
He gets to the end of the cucumber, and of course because he's more focused on keeping an eye on Alucard than on his task, he manages to nick his finger along with the last bit of cuke.]
Fuck.
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[And make a point. Alucard goes about working with the garlic with no issue at all, seemingly all too content doing the work. He almost hums as he works.
A sudden sharp scent fills the air. Alucard's nostrils flare.]
Bandages are in the cabinet to your right. Second shelf. It'll be int he first aid kit.
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Hector sucks on his finger on the way to first aid kit, tasting cucumber and blood, at least he didn’t get any mixed in with the grated cucumber. Once he cleans the grater and throws that last bloody stump of the vegetable...and bandages his finger, a distant third concern...the damage will be undone.
He washes his hand and wraps up his finger with a little strip of cloth. There, good as new.]
Come watch this next step. It’s important. We need to drain the cucumber before we add it in.
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Or maybe he'll just make a point of not reacting to the smell of blood in the air. Until Hector's back is turned. And he checks the grater for any blood.
Nope. He wasn't gonna lick it or anything that'd be gross.]
Does that require cheese cloth or something else?
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[Hector knows where the cloth is, and he grabs some on his way back. He lays it out and uses his non-injured hand to start transferring the grated pile over.]
We’re trying to get as much moisture out as we can do it doesn’t water down the sauce. Old Greek grandmas will tell you to drain it overnight, but this works just as well and doesn’t waste time.
[He gestures for Alucard to take the cloth. He’s got a bandage to keep dry.]
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There's a laugh at the mention of Old Greek Grandmas though.]
Would salting it help too?
[All the same, Alucard takes the cloth and begins to wring the moisture out. There's a lot, and dhampir strength? That's super good at helping the process along as it turns out.]
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Hector nudges the bowl of yogurt closer to Alucard.]
The salt goes in once we start adding the flavoring. That's enough. You can dump it in.
[If he lets Alucard keep going, they'll have pureed cucumber, not grated. Show-off.]
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[He's using science for food, Hector! But fine, he dumps in the damn cucumbers.]
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[Look, Hector can’t judge if you want to defy the Gods and Greek Grannies with your scientific pursuits, but there’s a time and place for it.
Hector takes the bowl and stirs the cucumber into the yogurt.]
Just be careful not to dehydrate the cucumbers, and to mix it enough that the salt gets evenly distributed.
[He reaches for the next ingredients- salt, the sad lemons, and olive oil.]
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[Well, Alucard, you're you. So we should probably expect this on some level.
But at any rate, Alucard simply hovers a respectful distance to Hector's left, watching. It's nice, not being the one to do the cooking. Learning by doing, like he did so many times in this space from--
--you know what, that's a thought he doesn't need at the moment.]
This makes a rather large batch, all things considered. How long does it tend to keep?
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[It is typically no hardship, if you are hungry enough, or if you are the type of person to have friends to share it. Hector sometimes fulfills one of those requirements.]
Are you expecting your humans back within that time? If not, I can take some of it back with me.
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[All Alucard's done is squeeze some cucumbers, truly.
not a euphamism]The bread as well, if there's any that remains. I don't know how well your kitchen is equipped for bread making.
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[No wonder Alucard was in such desparate need of petting
and perhaps why he didn't get a sword through the chest for daring to kiss him. Hector privately thinks the Belmont and the Speaker are idiots of the highest order for leaving Alucard for any reason. Not that it is any of his business. None at all. Anyways...]That is right, you have never been to my home. You could come by sometime, see the lab, if you wanted.
[The kitchen is pretty bare bones, but he has a tiny stove. He won't starve to death
unless, of course, he gets too distracted with his work to remember to eat.]no subject
How far is it?
[But more importantly:] Does it risk your safety if I come?
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It takes me about half a day to walk it. You could likely cover the distance much faster with four legs.
[Or wings or vaporous mist or whatever other forms he has.]
Why would it? So long as you don't draw attention to yourself on the way in, it shouldn't.
[Hector has a little cabin on the side of a mountain, and he's kept a pretty low profile since the war ended. There are nothing more than vague rumors about him in the nearest village, and the humans are too scared and weak to come up and substantiate them.]
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