Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

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[whipboi]

[Fully-dressed is a very generous term for this. There are leggings, okay? Granted, they currently have his testicles in a chokehold, and if he were unsure about the notion of fathering children at any point, it's a definite impossibility now. Probably for the better.

No one wants his genes.

Because there are two empty bottles of God-knows-what on the lip of the tub. God-knows-what because Trever has peeled the labels off bit-by-bit and left them tiny, soggy, multicolored flakes in the bathwater; empty because--

Even with Adrian's leave-in conditioner in his hair, he reeks of alcohol.]

Don't ask me 'what the fuck' unless you brought the bog whiskey.

[cryptsleeper]

It's my bath tub, I will ask all the questions I like.

[So no. No bog whiskey. Only a huffy dhampir marching right over to the tub.]

Get out of the tub. I will peel those leggings off if I need to.

[Is it over dramatic for him to open up his nails to razor sharp length? Probably! Does he do it regardless? Sure does!]

[whipboi]

[That's alarm in Trevor's eyes. He leans away, only by a fraction, gaze flickering between Adrian's hands, his face, and back again.]

You're fucking joking. This is precious equipment you're looking to fillet.

[cryptsleeper]

--I"m not putting these near your dick. Don't be stupid.

[whipboi]

[Trevor squints. That sounds like a lie. A lie like parents tell their toddlers at dinner time -- open up for the airplane -- and Trevor's not entirely convinced that Adrian is above that manner of trickery.]

Promise?

[cryptsleeper]

I'm going to rip the fabric on the outer sides only. The rest can be pealed away.

[Alucard sighs, then waggles his hand in the come forward motion.]

Do this for me and I'll let you look at my legs all nice and wet?

[whipboi]

[Trevor stands immediately.]

Fine. Do your worst.

[cryptsleeper]

Get out of the tub? I don't want you to slip.

[whipboi]

[Okay, that's-- He can do this. He can. And it may be with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, but he manages to stiffly shuffle to the edge of the tub, whereupon he collapses -- almost on top of the empty liquor bottles -- to the floor beside Adrian. His head may have smacked the floor. It's hard to tell if that hollow thud is his skull or his pride.]

I blame my head trauma solely on your legs.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard tries to dive to prevent him from falling to the floor. Alucard fails miserably, and that? That means a concussion check next.]

No, I blame your drinking.

[He was going to try and make this sexy, but not now. Alucard goes about this practically, running his nails down one side of the leggings, then the other. Then?

Then the peeling off happens. That is careful. Slow. Alucard's eyes focused on all of Trevor's hips and lower body, sighing in relief as the fabric pulls away.]

How's that feel?

[whipboi]

[Trevor groans loudly, with a dramatic sprawl across the floor. It's as ungraceful as his exit from the tub, but despite the red marks all around his hips and legs, it feels like he can breathe again.

And Adrian's heard that moan before, but not like this.]

Fuck, that's better. Thank you.

[cryptsleeper]

All you had to do was ask for help.

[Alucard finishes with the fabric, then flings it aside. Scoots himself up towards Trevor's head, and gently kisses his lips.]

Sit up slowly. Make sure you don't have a concussion.

[whipboi]

[Trevor does as he's asked for once, reaches up to rub at the sore spot on his head. It's hard to tell, with inebriation numbing the way, but--]

No harm done.

[Trevor presses a grateful kiss to Adrian's cheek, and then squints down at his phone.]

Are you home early? [Or was he just in the tub for that long?]

[cryptsleeper]

Yes, I am.

[Alucard squints at Trevor, then sighs.]

No sleeping for a while, you have to sober up before we figure out how badly you hit your head.

[That kiss does a lot to shut him up though, and he takes Trevor's hand in his.]

I believe I need to pay up though yes?

[whipboi]

[It takes a moment for Trevor to remember what Adrian is talking about. But he perks up before long, grinning sideways at the dhampir.]

I think you had better, or I'll file for compensation.

[cryptsleeper]

[There's a squeeze of Trevor's hand, and then? Then Alucard gets up. Walks over to the tub, his back turned to Trevor. He keeps his back turned, removing his trousers. Pausing to unbutton his shirt, and then getting into the tub.

When he turns? It's with his shirt still open, and hands reaching down to get more water running from his hips down to his legs.]

As agreed then.

[whipboi]

[Trevor has a few very specific fixations. One of them happens to be wet skin, and another, Adrian's legs. Bless them, praise them; both at once nearly has him giddy.

He leans forward, elbows on his knees and a nigh-dreamy sigh on his lips.]

You're fucking beautiful.

[cryptsleeper]

And you need to sober up just a hair if you think you're getting anything beyond this.

[Alucard doesn't approve of the drinking. Or the probable concussion.]

Explain the leggings?

[whipboi]

[Fuck. On multiple levels.]

Would you buy 'curiosity?'

[cryptsleeper]

...I might.

[Alucard sits himself on the edge of the tub. Lets all the water run down his legs, still frowning at Trevor.]

I don't think it's the right look for you.

[whipboi]

[Trevor might have come up with a halfway believable excuse, had Adrian not broken out the ultimate equalizer and shot his attention to hell. It's foul play. Dirty pool. Wet legs. Trevor can't tear his eyes away.

The truth is probably a good deal stranger than any fiction he could invent anyway.]

I was bored. And pretending to be a pirate isn't as fun without the right pants.

[cryptsleeper]

--What?

[Alucard stares. What the fuck. His dick is hanging out and just. This???]

[whipboi]

[Trevor has to stop, to seriously consider what he'd just said. In the grand tradition of Trevor not making any fucking sense at all, this is probably vying for first place in the nonsense idiot semi-finals. But he just rolls his eyes, as if this is something Adrian should just understand without further explanation or ado.]

Pirates wear tight pants. Obviously.

[cryptsleeper]

Okay, then why were you being a pirate?

[There. That's a logical query, right?]

[whipboi]

Why do you have to suck the joy and wonder out of my life?

[Because he was watching the pirate movie while he drank.]