[Jaskier laughs and pushes back. Their joys are often so small, but seem all the more precious for it. (Has he not, already, been granted the greatest joy of all? He has as much time as he wishes with those he loves. And perhaps he likes to spend some of that time bullying Alucard.)
Jaskier blows through his lips in disbelief. "Very good" at "not being smug." Why, it's like asking a tiger to not show its stripes.]
And why shouldn't it be? I daresay we've done many more things more sinful than a date of moth plagues. Which we should definitely repeat, you know.
Don't you make that noise! And your desert owl form looks perfect in a cactus.
[Look. He'll take being shoved back and being bullied. It is a founding bedrock of their friendship. But Alucard will not be implied to have not been gracious about being right regarding cactus naps.]
Rude. Not sinful. Rude or dickish, never that word. [It smacks of Catholicism.] Funny. I thought this counted as a date.
[He doesn't argue the point about the owl now that he's perfect aware of how adorable he is in every form. Every bird he's taken flight as, all down to the very fluffy paws he has as a gryphon... even with the talons.
He's a whole package, even as a god.]
Dickish, you say? That's funny, considering what I was actually referencing... [He wiggles his brows. No, not sinful. He and Nadine have the same hangup over that word. Or did, at least. He has the feeling they did.
Look, he's only saying he's had fun. Every time.]
Is this? Looking upon the vestiges of the men we used to be? It's certainly romantic, in a grim way. [He's amused as he says it, though, leading the way to this: the monument in the middle of it all. Still standing against all odds, the magic in it more powerful than ever.] I don't think the history books even remember what it was for.
Would you like a little more low hanging fruit, Julian?
[Alucard rolls his eyes, making a huge show of it because that's what Jaskier deserves.
His tone remains light, refusing to drift into something more somber.]
You used to be perhaps. I've worked very hard to maintain my human half, thank you very much. [It was the main reason Alucard had resisted the transformation for so long, making it more painful. More drawn out. He was an idiot about it.] To your last point though, of course not. I placed an explanatory stone at the base of it ages ago, and I keep an eye on it. Even if the memorial has become a spot for grieving on a whole, the original intent is known.
[He was asking for it! And Jaskier can take his friend throwing him into a wall, if need be. He survives things very well, thank you, and the proof of that is in his grin, which is unapologetic.
So many years have earned him the rights to be a bastard.
The you used to strikes Jaskier like a physical hit -- stronger than being thrown into a wall, and for a moment, his grin is gone. Completely. It isn't Alucard's fault -- he's a bastard, too, but in a very different way -- but it's a sharp reminder is all.]
So have I. But there isn't a man alive who can resists the siren call of power forever. [He sighs. Well, his little ball joke has lost its luster. Sometimes being around Adrian is akin to being assaulted with ice-cold water, several times over.] You can't mean to say that after all this time, you still haven't forgotten some things.
I'm not sure that my legs rate higher than my balls, but you can be the judge of that.
[They're decent legs, but Alucard is keenly aware that his top half is much more attractive. It is a statement he can agree with.
He isn't surprised he managed to kill the mood. Given the choice, Alucard would still refuse ascending to this state. His natural lifespan, the possibility of resting and the chance to be redefined over and over again through work, that is a greater appeal. He's said as much before. He won't rehash it now. He will only give his friend a small smile before letting the topic go.]
I have forgotten some things. But projects? Things made with my own hands, and in this case, together? No. I'd never forget those.
[He squeezes Jaskier's arm as if to reinforce the point, and pauses just a moment to lean his head gently against that of his friend.]
I've never been a straight ball man myself, to be fair. Who knows if I'll be an honest judge?
[This is truly them now: a back and forth that has no real meaning nor importance. Why care about every second spent when you know you have so many ahead of? A number so large that, to him, it may as well be infinite? He can't allow himself to wallow for too long; in those moments, he begins to feel something strange inside him. An alien. And the alien thing is him, his mind, his thoughts... dissipating into an infinite swell of time.
Jaskier stops in front of their memorial, with Alucard's hand holding his, squeezing it. Another anchor: the people who have entered eternity with him, or that he followed after.] You're right. I'd never let you hear the end of it.
[After this long, this memorial still feels like his, partly; their magic weaves in it, stronger than ever. He cannot recall a single face that this memorial was meant to stand for... but he does remember what caused them to build it in the first place. That deep, overwhelming sorrow.
It's rare the sunrays in him ever fade; over time, perhaps he's begun to fear them even more than he used to.] You're the only one who understands we've never stopped working.
An honest judge knows my chest is my best feature anyway.
[The topic can float away with Alucard's self-assured grin. Standing in front of the memorial, it feels incorrect to linger on the topic. Insulting to the dead, especially when the two of them have outlived everyone represented on the walls eight times over.
It's aged well. There has been care and upkeep, some expansion to allow for more memories of those passed to be shared. The evolution has been natural and welcome, and to make something that works for so many over the centuries is...well, you peak at a certain age. Alucard's maintained that this is probably one of the best things he's done in all his lifetimes. The meaning has shifted and endured. That counts for a lot.
He squeezes Jaskier's hand back. Leans a little bit more on the bard, the moment feeling correct to do so.]
I had the advantage of having already thought about how to handle a long life, Julian. That and a compulsive need for projects, lest I sit with my thoughts too long. Don't lionize it.
[His tone is so very warm. Everything he's said is true, but there's no resentment present, no disapproval, nothing but a simple truth that has never really offended Alucard to look in the eye.]
[To be fair, Jaskier lets him have it. His chest has always been a wonderful feature, even if some days he cannot even recall where or when that scar happened; it is as much a part of Alucard as his hair and witty comebacks.
They lean together in that perfect way where the other's body balances them. Perhaps if Jaskier wasn't associated with so many of the other Summoned, they would have their whole own following: a pair of art gods that leave memorials to mortals in their wake. That reminds them of how mortal they are, but how their momentary lives have meaning.
Even if he should die tomorrow or live another 800 years, he will always believe that.]
I do think it worth lionizing. Is that not what all the tales of immortals always warned? They grow bored with life. With mortal existence. They become old and older and more rotten in their core. But you... you've really remained the same. I don't think a few decades of knowing you're an immortal truly prepared you for that.
[Sometimes he still laughs about it. Technically, even now, Jaskier is older than him. Jaskier turns into him, drawing Alucard closer, and kisses him with a firm press to his lips.] Perhaps I can admit you've aided me in not becoming a complete bastard of an immortal, too.
Maybe growing up around vampires where various parts of that rotten core had already started to show is what did it. Maybe I'm just very good at being old. Who's to say, really?
[Alucard doesn't think it matters, in the end. This is how it has shaken out, and while he will always have strong opinions about certain choices some of his fellow Summoned have made over the centuries, the dhampir knows the ones he thinks handled the transition well enough.
There's another thought to be had, but the kiss leaves him just a little taken aback. It isn't as if it is the first time it has happened - far from it - but it is always a little bit of a surprise.
He laughs, soft and warm and just glad for the company.]
Oh, I'd agree with that. Holding back the hand that wants to smite has somehow become my specialty. [It is a wholly unsurprising to Alucard, but that's not here nor there.] You've kept me grounded simply by knowing you're going to be there when I decide to return to the world.
[They're not depression naps anymore, just breaks. And Jaskier is there every time, waiting for him. Alucard's appreciates it, just as he appreciates that when he and Jaskier are spoken of together, all emphasis is on having a complimentary partnership that balances personalities and skills.
Balance is perhaps the word of the day, and Alucard leans in to return the kiss. It is no less fir or reaffirming of where they stand with each other, although Alucard also knows his friend well enough. A little bit of fang enters into the equation. Not enough to draw blood, just there to make itself known.]
[Maybe. It could be, considering what Jaskier remembers hearing of them. (Though the idea of Alucard being "good at being old" is absolutely laughable. He's so comedic, especially when he isn't trying to be.)]
The times I've wanted to smite have been very low in number. [He insists. A musician who wrote a mocking ballad about him. The writer who dissected his lyrics for a study in the university, calling them "trite" and "too punny."
The luteist who changed the words in The Fishmonger's Daughter. He didn't even like that song, but it was the principle of the thing.
Jaskier takes that offering, flicking a tongue as a tease against a fang. He knows well, after all this time, how to move around them. And they still invoke a flare of heat in him.]
As I shall always be. And when the Singularity draws the last drop of life out of the universe, I'll make sure you perish first, so that you should never be without me.
[To be fair, Alucard was actually trying to be funny with that comment. Give him some credit.]
They have. And they have all been very petty. [It wasn't as if Alucard was unsympathetic on the matter. He also just very, very much thought it better to leave those things alone. People can have mean opinions that hurt your feelings.
In these moments, it is very, very easy to understand why Jaskier's romances have endured. It isn't the sense of the sun shining down on you so much as the knowledge that the statements, for all the flowery language, are genuine. For Alucard, who has always better with actions over words, it always means a lot be the moment truly romantic or one based on centuries of their friendship.
He smiles, gently resting his forehead against Jaskier's.]
[The truth hurts, unfortunately; being immortal has hardly done much to give him the sort of armor without its chinks, in which perfectly placed darts of criticism can easily slide inside and hurt his heart.
Still true.
Well.
He laughs, and kisses him again.] I knew you had it in you to say exactly what I wished to hear. [Love has always comes easy, but never this long. That it has endured is testament to its unyielding strength.] Now, before you distract me with your sexy sincerity, shall we go check on the Hall next?
[A bit mean? Maybe. But honest? Very much yes. Alucard has always been the screen door on the submarine when needed, and has never protested at playing that role. With Jaskier, it can often be fun.
Alucard laughs softly at the phrasing of sexy sincerity because honestly, what the fuck is that even?, before he considers.]
Perhaps we just head out to the grassy areas for a bit and remain outside? The Hall isn't going anywhere.
[Neither are we, even if Alucard tugs at Jaskier hand and starts to walk again.]
Oh? [His smile is much more knowing, curled at the edges. The grassy areas, after this conversation? Clearly he's asking for more than just a bit of skygazing. A roll in the grass, even -- and when one is so associated with nature, one hardly worries about a bit of dirt and grass stains.]
The Hall's never gone anywhere.
[He says it as a point of pride, squeezing Alucard's hand tightly as he steals another kiss. No, neither are they -- not with an infinite amount of time ahead of them, now that death is hardly an option.]
Come. Time waits for no one, but I won't wait for long, either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Jaskier blows through his lips in disbelief. "Very good" at "not being smug." Why, it's like asking a tiger to not show its stripes.]
And why shouldn't it be? I daresay we've done many more things more sinful than a date of moth plagues. Which we should definitely repeat, you know.
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[Look. He'll take being shoved back and being bullied. It is a founding bedrock of their friendship. But Alucard will not be implied to have not been gracious about being right regarding cactus naps.]
Rude. Not sinful. Rude or dickish, never that word. [It smacks of Catholicism.] Funny. I thought this counted as a date.
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He's a whole package, even as a god.]
Dickish, you say? That's funny, considering what I was actually referencing... [He wiggles his brows. No, not sinful. He and Nadine have the same hangup over that word. Or did, at least. He has the feeling they did.
Look, he's only saying he's had fun. Every time.]
Is this? Looking upon the vestiges of the men we used to be? It's certainly romantic, in a grim way. [He's amused as he says it, though, leading the way to this: the monument in the middle of it all. Still standing against all odds, the magic in it more powerful than ever.] I don't think the history books even remember what it was for.
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[Alucard rolls his eyes, making a huge show of it because that's what Jaskier deserves.
His tone remains light, refusing to drift into something more somber.]
You used to be perhaps. I've worked very hard to maintain my human half, thank you very much. [It was the main reason Alucard had resisted the transformation for so long, making it more painful. More drawn out. He was an idiot about it.] To your last point though, of course not. I placed an explanatory stone at the base of it ages ago, and I keep an eye on it. Even if the memorial has become a spot for grieving on a whole, the original intent is known.
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[He was asking for it! And Jaskier can take his friend throwing him into a wall, if need be. He survives things very well, thank you, and the proof of that is in his grin, which is unapologetic.
So many years have earned him the rights to be a bastard.
The you used to strikes Jaskier like a physical hit -- stronger than being thrown into a wall, and for a moment, his grin is gone. Completely. It isn't Alucard's fault -- he's a bastard, too, but in a very different way -- but it's a sharp reminder is all.]
So have I. But there isn't a man alive who can resists the siren call of power forever. [He sighs. Well, his little ball joke has lost its luster. Sometimes being around Adrian is akin to being assaulted with ice-cold water, several times over.] You can't mean to say that after all this time, you still haven't forgotten some things.
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[They're decent legs, but Alucard is keenly aware that his top half is much more attractive. It is a statement he can agree with.
He isn't surprised he managed to kill the mood. Given the choice, Alucard would still refuse ascending to this state. His natural lifespan, the possibility of resting and the chance to be redefined over and over again through work, that is a greater appeal. He's said as much before. He won't rehash it now. He will only give his friend a small smile before letting the topic go.]
I have forgotten some things. But projects? Things made with my own hands, and in this case, together? No. I'd never forget those.
[He squeezes Jaskier's arm as if to reinforce the point, and pauses just a moment to lean his head gently against that of his friend.]
no subject
[This is truly them now: a back and forth that has no real meaning nor importance. Why care about every second spent when you know you have so many ahead of? A number so large that, to him, it may as well be infinite? He can't allow himself to wallow for too long; in those moments, he begins to feel something strange inside him. An alien. And the alien thing is him, his mind, his thoughts... dissipating into an infinite swell of time.
Jaskier stops in front of their memorial, with Alucard's hand holding his, squeezing it. Another anchor: the people who have entered eternity with him, or that he followed after.] You're right. I'd never let you hear the end of it.
[After this long, this memorial still feels like his, partly; their magic weaves in it, stronger than ever. He cannot recall a single face that this memorial was meant to stand for... but he does remember what caused them to build it in the first place. That deep, overwhelming sorrow.
It's rare the sunrays in him ever fade; over time, perhaps he's begun to fear them even more than he used to.] You're the only one who understands we've never stopped working.
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[The topic can float away with Alucard's self-assured grin. Standing in front of the memorial, it feels incorrect to linger on the topic. Insulting to the dead, especially when the two of them have outlived everyone represented on the walls eight times over.
It's aged well. There has been care and upkeep, some expansion to allow for more memories of those passed to be shared. The evolution has been natural and welcome, and to make something that works for so many over the centuries is...well, you peak at a certain age. Alucard's maintained that this is probably one of the best things he's done in all his lifetimes. The meaning has shifted and endured. That counts for a lot.
He squeezes Jaskier's hand back. Leans a little bit more on the bard, the moment feeling correct to do so.]
I had the advantage of having already thought about how to handle a long life, Julian. That and a compulsive need for projects, lest I sit with my thoughts too long. Don't lionize it.
[His tone is so very warm. Everything he's said is true, but there's no resentment present, no disapproval, nothing but a simple truth that has never really offended Alucard to look in the eye.]
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They lean together in that perfect way where the other's body balances them. Perhaps if Jaskier wasn't associated with so many of the other Summoned, they would have their whole own following: a pair of art gods that leave memorials to mortals in their wake. That reminds them of how mortal they are, but how their momentary lives have meaning.
Even if he should die tomorrow or live another 800 years, he will always believe that.]
I do think it worth lionizing. Is that not what all the tales of immortals always warned? They grow bored with life. With mortal existence. They become old and older and more rotten in their core. But you... you've really remained the same. I don't think a few decades of knowing you're an immortal truly prepared you for that.
[Sometimes he still laughs about it. Technically, even now, Jaskier is older than him. Jaskier turns into him, drawing Alucard closer, and kisses him with a firm press to his lips.] Perhaps I can admit you've aided me in not becoming a complete bastard of an immortal, too.
no subject
[Alucard doesn't think it matters, in the end. This is how it has shaken out, and while he will always have strong opinions about certain choices some of his fellow Summoned have made over the centuries, the dhampir knows the ones he thinks handled the transition well enough.
There's another thought to be had, but the kiss leaves him just a little taken aback. It isn't as if it is the first time it has happened - far from it - but it is always a little bit of a surprise.
He laughs, soft and warm and just glad for the company.]
Oh, I'd agree with that. Holding back the hand that wants to smite has somehow become my specialty. [It is a wholly unsurprising to Alucard, but that's not here nor there.] You've kept me grounded simply by knowing you're going to be there when I decide to return to the world.
[They're not depression naps anymore, just breaks. And Jaskier is there every time, waiting for him. Alucard's appreciates it, just as he appreciates that when he and Jaskier are spoken of together, all emphasis is on having a complimentary partnership that balances personalities and skills.
Balance is perhaps the word of the day, and Alucard leans in to return the kiss. It is no less fir or reaffirming of where they stand with each other, although Alucard also knows his friend well enough. A little bit of fang enters into the equation. Not enough to draw blood, just there to make itself known.]
no subject
The times I've wanted to smite have been very low in number. [He insists. A musician who wrote a mocking ballad about him. The writer who dissected his lyrics for a study in the university, calling them "trite" and "too punny."
The luteist who changed the words in The Fishmonger's Daughter. He didn't even like that song, but it was the principle of the thing.
Jaskier takes that offering, flicking a tongue as a tease against a fang. He knows well, after all this time, how to move around them. And they still invoke a flare of heat in him.]
As I shall always be. And when the Singularity draws the last drop of life out of the universe, I'll make sure you perish first, so that you should never be without me.
no subject
They have. And they have all been very petty. [It wasn't as if Alucard was unsympathetic on the matter. He also just very, very much thought it better to leave those things alone. People can have mean opinions that hurt your feelings.
In these moments, it is very, very easy to understand why Jaskier's romances have endured. It isn't the sense of the sun shining down on you so much as the knowledge that the statements, for all the flowery language, are genuine. For Alucard, who has always better with actions over words, it always means a lot be the moment truly romantic or one based on centuries of their friendship.
He smiles, gently resting his forehead against Jaskier's.]
I love you too.
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[The truth hurts, unfortunately; being immortal has hardly done much to give him the sort of armor without its chinks, in which perfectly placed darts of criticism can easily slide inside and hurt his heart.
Still true.
Well.
He laughs, and kisses him again.] I knew you had it in you to say exactly what I wished to hear. [Love has always comes easy, but never this long. That it has endured is testament to its unyielding strength.] Now, before you distract me with your sexy sincerity, shall we go check on the Hall next?
no subject
Alucard laughs softly at the phrasing of sexy sincerity because honestly, what the fuck is that even?, before he considers.]
Perhaps we just head out to the grassy areas for a bit and remain outside? The Hall isn't going anywhere.
[Neither are we, even if Alucard tugs at Jaskier hand and starts to walk again.]
๐
The Hall's never gone anywhere.
[He says it as a point of pride, squeezing Alucard's hand tightly as he steals another kiss. No, neither are they -- not with an infinite amount of time ahead of them, now that death is hardly an option.]
Come. Time waits for no one, but I won't wait for long, either.