ALWAYS SUNNY FONT: the gang goes to france

[cryptsleeper]

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[miraclewhip]

Shit, all those sleepless nights of counting bricks and all you needed to do was run halfway to France and back?

[ He laughs. He knows that using his father's powers to do this can't sit well with Alucard. ]

Sypha and I take watch tonight, then.

[cryptsleeper]

And not have been asleep for an entire year, yes.

[Trevor gets a very gentle elbow for the comment. For all the man claims and often is total garbage at giving actual support, he does know certain things and is more than capable of responding to them appropriately.]

Four and four. You don't take a double shift.

[miraclewhip]

I don't promise to be capable of waking her up for hers.

[ That's a 'we're going to have to argue about this, aren't we?' tone. ]

[cryptsleeper]

We're going to have this argument later in the middle of a forest where Sypha and I can both yell at you and shame you for making us raise our voices in case we draw attention to ourselves.

[Okay, so maybe he just totally revealed the battle plan, but this system's worked in the past.]

[miraclewhip]

We're going to have this argument after you've slept for eight hours, though.

So I'll already have done what I want.

[cryptsleeper]

Sypha takes first watch, this entire exchange is pointless.

[miraclewhip]

And then she won't wake me up. You know how this works.

[ Srry Alucard you're stuck wit two self sacrificing idiots. ]

[cryptsleeper]

Why are you both like this?!

[miraclewhip]

You took full watch practically every night between the boat and here. We learned it from you.

[ It's nice, to be squabbling like this. No edge to it, no anger behind it, just throwing words at each other. Horrible things bring out either too much softness or too much anger in both of them. This argument means that despite everything, for now, they can still both believe that all is going to be well. ]

[cryptsleeper]

You two absolutely did not, this was an issue you two developed traveling. Don't even think of pinning it on me.

[Is this the stupidest argument they could have before all of this? Oh, there are doubtlessly stupider. But it's this argument they'll die on little fake hills on before everything must be serious.]

[miraclewhip]

If we developed it while traveling, when did you develop it?

[ Excuse you they were both always like this. It just never came up on the way to Dracula because Alucard barely needed sleep at all. ]

[cryptsleeper]

The first time we met because someone can't keep his guts inside himself.

[miraclewhip]

[ Well played. ]

Look, maybe I thought that they'd look nicer on the outside. If I end up taking full watch the tonight, I'll let you and Sypha take watch tomorrow. Fair?

[cryptsleeper]

Is this all based on your regrowing legs theory? If so, we really need to have a long talk.

[But the offer is...that's fine. And Alucard relents.]

Very well, that's fair.

[miraclewhip]

[ It's still fun to annoy Alucard, after four years. ]

Maybe it is. Good a defense as any against being disemboweled. Once your guts are out, they can't get any more out.

[cryptsleeper]

Yes but at that point you're also about to be very dead because, and I must emphasize this, those things ought to be on the inside.

[How does he share a bed with this.]

[miraclewhip]

I'll have you know that all the best things that happened to me started with my guts being on the outside.

[ IS THIS BULLYING? IS THIS FLIRTING? It's probably both. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[BOTH ABSOLUTELY BOTH]

Flattery, in this minute, gets you absolutely no where but exiled to the carpet for extreme stupidity for defending things you patently know to be false.

[miraclewhip]

I'll have you know that I've never known anything in my god damn life.

[ And he leans in close to kiss Alucard's cheek and whisper- ]

And I'm taking full watch tonight, so you can't exile me anywhere.

[cryptsleeper]

[....Shit, he's gone and won the argument. Alucard mutters a soft protest, even if the kiss makes up for the loss just a tiny little bit.]

Fine, but this matter isn't done.

[No, it's done, he just refuses to relent.]

[miraclewhip]

Of course it's not.

[ They're fine. They're going to be fine. That's what all of this means. He kisses once more before he pulls back, on the lips this time. ]

Prepare the mirror, then. I'll fetch Sypha and then you can be rid of me for a few hours.

[cryptsleeper]

[That kiss is much too brief, but Trevor moves before Alucard can try and force that issue. Too slow too late.]

Last I checked she was in the kitchen triple checking all the provisions. If she's not there, then my assumption is she's gathering a last minute bag from the bedroom. All the other equipment's here.

[miraclewhip]

[ Sypha arrives first, after he leaves to find her, with Trevor in tow. Carrying both of the two books she couldn't choose between, of course. She's trying very hard not to seem too excited that they're finally heading out again, the circumstances surrounding it being what they are, but she's doing an absolutely terrible job. Trevor adds the books to whichever bags can fit them and then just watches fondly as she hugs Alucard as tightly as if they were leaving for a few months again.

In the mirror lies the distant outskirts of a town about two days' ride from the Trantoul estate. It's not the closest, which means a longer journey but also means that if something is in the estate, their arrival is less likely to set off alarms. ]

Daresay my spoken French is best. [ Literally the only language that he might speak better than Alucard or Sypha. And he still can't swear in it. ] Sypha stays on the outskirts with the supplies, I'll find horses for us. Are we to expect you in four hours, or four hours after sunset?

[cryptsleeper]

[That hug farewell is returned in kind. The top of Sypha's head is showered in kisses, because if this all goes to shit, they'll be apart for longer and will regret not doing the old good-byes.]

Four hours exactly. Perhaps an extra half hour if packing the mirror proves to be a greater difficulty.

[He had checked to make sure it was easily put into a trunk, Sypha had enchanted the thing to be certain, but they now all had to account for error. The trunk was the only think traveling with Alucard, all other bags were being passed through the mirror here and now.

Alucard's eyes remain on the location shown in the mirror. He's pensive, arms folded across his chest.]

Go. I'll be there soon.

[miraclewhip]

[ Sypha goes first, watching for anyone who might witness them. Trevor starts work on bringing supplies through. It's quick work, with the mirror, made awkward only by the fact that only so much can go through it at once. ]

Five hours. After four, we make camp. After five we- do something. I don't know yet.

[ His goodbye isn't as overly fond and excited as Sypha's. He reaches out, drawing the hair away from one side of Alucard's face with a hand and tucking it behind his ear and then trailing his fingertips down the vampire's neck until he breaks the touch. ]

Don't make us improvise. We'll do something stupid.