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You could find another adjective, you know.
[He does smile when he speaks though, meaning all of it is in good jest. But more than that, he just remains on the very edge of the bed, waiting for Trevor to settle in. Trevor is bigger - wider - than he is. Easier for him to find a spot and then Alucard to take up all the remaining space.]
I was right to try and get to this city. But I don't think I would have survived it without your intervention first.
[He does smile when he speaks though, meaning all of it is in good jest. But more than that, he just remains on the very edge of the bed, waiting for Trevor to settle in. Trevor is bigger - wider - than he is. Easier for him to find a spot and then Alucard to take up all the remaining space.]
I was right to try and get to this city. But I don't think I would have survived it without your intervention first.
[He hadn't even noticed the sheet. Or much of anything, because even now his heart thunders in his chest. How hadn't he noticed that the castle had people in it? That someone was touching him?
Alucard's barely listening as Trevor speaks. He just stands -- fuck, fuck that hurts -- wobbling. Knowing he shouldn't be doing this but not caring.]
It's fine. It's fine, I can do the matter myself--
[He's speaking as if he's out of breath.]
Alucard's barely listening as Trevor speaks. He just stands -- fuck, fuck that hurts -- wobbling. Knowing he shouldn't be doing this but not caring.]
It's fine. It's fine, I can do the matter myself--
[He's speaking as if he's out of breath.]
[ God, he sounds terrified. Trevor continues to try not to notice. Try not to put things together, try to regard the burns and the bloodstained sheets and the corpses and the silver cables as a series of unrelated things, because if he puts them all together he'll start thinking and he can't afford to do that right now.
What comes out next isn't in a friendly tone. It's not an attempt at softness, because he doesn't trust himself with that right now. Instead? It comes out as if he's giving commands in a battle. Stern, unshakably confident and unwilling to accept argument. ]
Back into the bed. I'll turn around, and you do it yourself. Put the gauze in the liquid and then over the burns. Cover yourself when you're done, so I can turn back.
What comes out next isn't in a friendly tone. It's not an attempt at softness, because he doesn't trust himself with that right now. Instead? It comes out as if he's giving commands in a battle. Stern, unshakably confident and unwilling to accept argument. ]
Back into the bed. I'll turn around, and you do it yourself. Put the gauze in the liquid and then over the burns. Cover yourself when you're done, so I can turn back.
[That tone gets a hiss. A real hiss, the kind he tried to let out before only to be restrained. He's not fettered. He can move here, and he does just that. The door. He starts to move there, ignoring the screeching pain.]
I will go no such place.
[Nothing registers. He just needs to be Not Here. Not around people. Anywhere, anywhere else.]
I will go no such place.
[Nothing registers. He just needs to be Not Here. Not around people. Anywhere, anywhere else.]
I could. [ He climbs into the bed, making himself as small as he can without shedding more parts of himself against the wall. He reaches out for Alucard. ]
Would you prefer handsome? Lovely? Clever and kind and- [ His hands brush over Alucard's nightshirt and he grips at the coth of it for a moment, smiling. ] -there aren't words. Not in any language I've ever spoken.
Would you prefer handsome? Lovely? Clever and kind and- [ His hands brush over Alucard's nightshirt and he grips at the coth of it for a moment, smiling. ] -there aren't words. Not in any language I've ever spoken.
[He inches up against Trevor after he's sure the fae is settled. Alucard doesn't mush his face against Trevor though - he keeps them close. Noses touching. One hand over Trevor's hip, the other occupying the small gap between them both. He smiles, so soft and satisfied and happy.]
When there's no language left, there's only action.
When there's no language left, there's only action.
[ Shit. So maybe he went with the wrong tone. Too late now. ]
Alucard. I wouldn't be asking this of you if it wouldn't help. [ And maybe he needs to be alone, like he probably needed to be alone before. But that can wait. They can leave him to whatever the fuck happened if that's what he wants. But after the burns are dealt with. ]
You don't need to be in the bed. Just do the medicine.
Alucard. I wouldn't be asking this of you if it wouldn't help. [ And maybe he needs to be alone, like he probably needed to be alone before. But that can wait. They can leave him to whatever the fuck happened if that's what he wants. But after the burns are dealt with. ]
You don't need to be in the bed. Just do the medicine.
[In fairness, there's no right tone. Just a scared vampire whose instincts are terrible right now and liable to lash out at anything.
He's at the door. Putting too much weight on that tiny doorknob and it's starting to bend by pure accident.]
Pass it then and I'll manage elsewhere.
He's at the door. Putting too much weight on that tiny doorknob and it's starting to bend by pure accident.]
Pass it then and I'll manage elsewhere.
[ He wanted this years ago, in the big, too-puffy bed in the cottage. To lie this close to Alucard. To speak to him in whispers, soft and conspiratorial, the sound absorbed by the cloth of the blankets before it could hope to get more than a few inches away from them. The whole world shrunk to just two people and the tiny space between them.
It's everything he imagined.
He stretches one arm over Alucard, pulling him in closer. The fingers of the other hand lie between the pillow and Alucard's cheek, stroking softly. He smiles, letting his legs brush against Alucard's. ]
I don't know that there'll ever be actions, either. Not enough. [ But he leans forward to kiss Alucard. ] I'll do what I can.
It's everything he imagined.
He stretches one arm over Alucard, pulling him in closer. The fingers of the other hand lie between the pillow and Alucard's cheek, stroking softly. He smiles, letting his legs brush against Alucard's. ]
I don't know that there'll ever be actions, either. Not enough. [ But he leans forward to kiss Alucard. ] I'll do what I can.
You've already done so much.
[The kiss that follows is everything Alucard can't say. Thank you for pulling me away from myself. Thank you for insisting I heal. Thank you for placing me where I needed to be. He holds Trevor close and closes his eyes, losing more and more in the kiss. You're here and I want you to stay. You're here and I'm scared of being this happy but I want it all the same.
Alucard doesn't know how long the kiss goes on for. All he knows is that he's poured all of himself into it.]
[The kiss that follows is everything Alucard can't say. Thank you for pulling me away from myself. Thank you for insisting I heal. Thank you for placing me where I needed to be. He holds Trevor close and closes his eyes, losing more and more in the kiss. You're here and I want you to stay. You're here and I'm scared of being this happy but I want it all the same.
Alucard doesn't know how long the kiss goes on for. All he knows is that he's poured all of himself into it.]
[ He hands over the medicine and the thin cloth he's been tearing to strips. ]
Just follow what I've been doing. Cloth in the medicine, then over the burns.
[ A lot of the work is already done, and it's easy enough to tell how much of it works by looking at it. Even if the Belmonts almost certainly never understood why the medicine works. There's something in there that dissolves the holy oil that the cables were coated with to keep it from eating into the skin further, that's the time-sensitive part. After that, the cloth dries solid but flexible and keeps outside things from irritating or infecting the damaged skin. The Belmonts may have had no idea about germ theory, but they've had a long history of dealing with injuries and a lot of opportunity for trial and error. ]
I'll come find you at dawn. You have until then to do this yourself.
Just follow what I've been doing. Cloth in the medicine, then over the burns.
[ A lot of the work is already done, and it's easy enough to tell how much of it works by looking at it. Even if the Belmonts almost certainly never understood why the medicine works. There's something in there that dissolves the holy oil that the cables were coated with to keep it from eating into the skin further, that's the time-sensitive part. After that, the cloth dries solid but flexible and keeps outside things from irritating or infecting the damaged skin. The Belmonts may have had no idea about germ theory, but they've had a long history of dealing with injuries and a lot of opportunity for trial and error. ]
I'll come find you at dawn. You have until then to do this yourself.
[Alucard goes. He takes the things and goes but he doesn't say where and he doesn't stop moving until he's in a completely different wing of the castle. High up, because at least that keeps him moving until there's no where else to move to.
He tries to do as Trevor instructed, part of him registering that yes, this helps with the pain. That he's in physical pain as much as psychological pain, and at least one of these things can be fixed. But his hands shake. Moments of horror replay in his head when he looks at the burns. His hands shake and then--
--he can't. He can't and so he just sits there, more sobs escaping his throat. The sound carries without his realizing it, and then dawn comes.
Alucard doesn't even register when Trevor finds him. He's managed 2 whole additional bandages and that's it.]
He tries to do as Trevor instructed, part of him registering that yes, this helps with the pain. That he's in physical pain as much as psychological pain, and at least one of these things can be fixed. But his hands shake. Moments of horror replay in his head when he looks at the burns. His hands shake and then--
--he can't. He can't and so he just sits there, more sobs escaping his throat. The sound carries without his realizing it, and then dawn comes.
Alucard doesn't even register when Trevor finds him. He's managed 2 whole additional bandages and that's it.]
[ He kisses Alucard back. And theoretically, it's less deep than the kiss when they came in. Just lips against lips, over and over. Nothing more. But at the same time there's a desperation to it. An attempt to communicate all those things there aren't words for. ]
I love you. [ He says it so easily when he finally pulls away, faces so close that Alucard's eyes take up the entirety of his vision. ]
I love you. [ He says it so easily when he finally pulls away, faces so close that Alucard's eyes take up the entirety of his vision. ]
[Oh.
Oh.
There's such color on Alucard's face. He knew that this was a true thing. Determined it a day or two ago, in all his own lightness and ease of being. But Trevor's said it first.
They're so close. Trevor must be able to hear Alucard's heart. Even the soft little gasp at those simple words.
Alucard moves the hand that's on Trevor's hip up, resting the pads of his fingers against Trevor's cheek. As light as moths when they land.]
I want you to stay.
[Same sentiment. Different words.]
Oh.
There's such color on Alucard's face. He knew that this was a true thing. Determined it a day or two ago, in all his own lightness and ease of being. But Trevor's said it first.
They're so close. Trevor must be able to hear Alucard's heart. Even the soft little gasp at those simple words.
Alucard moves the hand that's on Trevor's hip up, resting the pads of his fingers against Trevor's cheek. As light as moths when they land.]
I want you to stay.
[Same sentiment. Different words.]
[ He- probably shouldn't have let him go.
He knows that, and it's becoming still more clear as he looks through every. Fucking. Room. In the fucking castle. He's bolted. He's bolted and he knew that he would because that's what things DO when they're spooked. But what was he supposed to do? Hold him still and force the bandages on to him? Get between him and the door and order him back into the bed?
Maybe he has put everything together a little, despite his best attempts. ]
...lost track of time, huh?
[ He follows the sound of sobs, in the end. Up stairs. And stairs. And stairs. With his human legs and his human lungs. Ugh. He's panting a little when he enters the room, a thick blanket tucked under one arm. He sighs, putting the blanket down. ]
The longer it takes, the longer the oil'll have to do damage. If you can't do it, let me. You'll hate it less in the long run. Promise.
He knows that, and it's becoming still more clear as he looks through every. Fucking. Room. In the fucking castle. He's bolted. He's bolted and he knew that he would because that's what things DO when they're spooked. But what was he supposed to do? Hold him still and force the bandages on to him? Get between him and the door and order him back into the bed?
Maybe he has put everything together a little, despite his best attempts. ]
...lost track of time, huh?
[ He follows the sound of sobs, in the end. Up stairs. And stairs. And stairs. With his human legs and his human lungs. Ugh. He's panting a little when he enters the room, a thick blanket tucked under one arm. He sighs, putting the blanket down. ]
The longer it takes, the longer the oil'll have to do damage. If you can't do it, let me. You'll hate it less in the long run. Promise.
[He should have heard those footsteps. Why didn't he hear those footsteps? Trevor's breathing? Any of it?
Why isn't he even startled when Trevor walks in?
Alucard doesn't know. All he understands is that there's something awful inside him that isn't letting him react normally. Because all he manages right now is to tug what he already had on himself as far as sheets went a little closer. Like it's armor. Like it's going to protect him from anything.
Two hoarse words squeak out.]
I can't.
Why isn't he even startled when Trevor walks in?
Alucard doesn't know. All he understands is that there's something awful inside him that isn't letting him react normally. Because all he manages right now is to tug what he already had on himself as far as sheets went a little closer. Like it's armor. Like it's going to protect him from anything.
Two hoarse words squeak out.]
I can't.
I want to stay.
[ He can't. He can't stay forever and he can't say that he will, because it'll be binding. He'll have to leave for a while, at least, to help Sypha track down her people. He'll need to attend to the Queen when she demands he weave dresses for her, to hunt, to see his family. ]
I'll come back. Whenever I leave. As long as I'm welcome.
[ It's the next best thing, and he smiles and sighs at Alucard's fingers on his cheek. ]
[ He can't. He can't stay forever and he can't say that he will, because it'll be binding. He'll have to leave for a while, at least, to help Sypha track down her people. He'll need to attend to the Queen when she demands he weave dresses for her, to hunt, to see his family. ]
I'll come back. Whenever I leave. As long as I'm welcome.
[ It's the next best thing, and he smiles and sighs at Alucard's fingers on his cheek. ]
Yes.
[No binding words. Nothing of the sort. Freedom is the most important thing, and Alucard understands that too well.
He just lies there. Smiling. Stroking Trevor's cheek. Close and warm and safe and happy and alive.]
Kiss me again?
[No binding words. Nothing of the sort. Freedom is the most important thing, and Alucard understands that too well.
He just lies there. Smiling. Stroking Trevor's cheek. Close and warm and safe and happy and alive.]
Kiss me again?
...you can't what?
[ He's not entirely certain that there's an answer to that, but he has to try. ]
Can you apply the medicine?
[ He's not entirely certain that there's an answer to that, but he has to try. ]
Can you apply the medicine?
Just.
[There's no more words. There's nothing. There's no Alucard right now.]
I can't.
[There's no more words. There's nothing. There's no Alucard right now.]
I can't.
[ He does. His lips have a different texture to them now than they did before the bath. They're more human, less like the skin of a peach. It feels strange to him, if he were to be honest, but everything else is perfect enough to make up for it. ]
We can just stay like this? Until morning?
[ He still doesn't sound like he entirely believes it. This is wonderful. ]
We can just stay like this? Until morning?
[ He still doesn't sound like he entirely believes it. This is wonderful. ]
Oh.
[ He drags the blanket over, pushing it into Alucard's arms. ]
Would it be easier to just- not feel. For a while?
[ He drags the blanket over, pushing it into Alucard's arms. ]
Would it be easier to just- not feel. For a while?
Yes. I may fall asleep but yes.
[He wants nothing but this. He wants nothing but this for a very long time.]
Do you want the blanket?
[He wants nothing but this. He wants nothing but this for a very long time.]
Do you want the blanket?
[There's a wordless nod. The blanket falls to the floor with a little fwoomp. That's all.]
I think so.
[ It's not cool enough to need it, especially not with two people's body heat. But it seems nice, the idea of the blanket as a barrier between them and everything that isn't each other. ]
I want to sleep like this, I think.
[ It's not cool enough to need it, especially not with two people's body heat. But it seems nice, the idea of the blanket as a barrier between them and everything that isn't each other. ]
I want to sleep like this, I think.
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