[ For now. Was that what he was going to say? That this can happen again?
He shouldn't raise his expectations too much. Alucard's clearly caught up in some part of this, and he's spent enough nights drinking to know that it's possible to sincerely regret something that you would have killed for the last night. He slips his hands free of the ropes.
He should have Alucard untie him if this happens again, he realises a little too late. Give him control over when the- ritual? Is this a ritual? - ends. But for now his hands are already free when the thought occurs to him.
Just bringing my hands forward. Won't touch you.
He should say something other than that, shouldn't he? At least to explain that Alucard didn't do anything wrong. But he's having a little difficulty coming up with words when all his body's resources are being diverted somewhere else entirely. ]
You did- That was good. I just don't want you pushing yourself too far.
[Alucard does put his hands over Trevor's though. He understands. He knows this is the right thing, even as the rest of him rebels and says he can just take what he wants. There's a sobering breath, then a small, understanding smile.]
I understand. You're...[He smiles.] You're my guardian in this. I trust you.
[But then he shifts uncomfortably, looking down for a moment and flushing a brilliant red.]
[ It wasn't as if he'd been unaware that this would be a problem, more- he didn't expect to be asked how one deals with this situation. His gaze follows Alucard's gesture, even though he knows exactly what he's being asked about, and settles for rather longer than he meant it to. ] Right. [ He should answer, shouldn't he? ]
It's- I mean- [ with some effort, he tears his gaze away. ] if you don't want to do anything, it'll go away eventually. Or cold water'll do it, or-
[ He looks down again. Then further down, to himself, and then back up to try to actually look Alucard in the eyes. ] -I could show you?
I think so? I mean- I don’t know if it’s the same for everyone. But it’s- it’s easy to figure out, once you get started.
[ He shuffles back a little across the bed, until he’s just out of arms reach from Alucard. This seems like it could get uncomfortable if he messes up, so hopefully the distance will help. After only a moments’ hesitation, he begins to unlace his trousers, watching Alucard intently as he does ]
[The word is much more breathless than Alucard wanted it to be. There's still that undercurrent of want in there, and his eyes go to Trevor's trousers with a little too much intensity.
He seems to catch that too, and Alucard shifts so that he's focused on Trevor's face.]
[ In truth, he’s more than a little worried about doing this wrong somehow. He figured this out himself, and he’s never known any other men save for his interrogators (men of the church, even if he were in a position to ask them), the forgemaster (the topic just never came up) and Dracula himself (no). It’s hard to shake the feeling that Alucard’s going to judge him, even with the knowledge that he’s in no position to do so.
Carefully, he finishes unlacing his trousers and eases them down to his thighs. Alucard’s easlier actions have definitely had their effect on him, and he’s most of the way to hardness despite the nervousness. He ghosts a hand over himself, hissing in breath and sighing it out. If he tilts his head just so then he can’t quite see Alucard’s arm, removing the evidence that it isn’t Alucard’s hand there. ]
[It's reassuring, knowing the feelings is mutual. That Alucard's not demanding anything that Trevor wouldn't give freely. He can't kneel anymore though, not like this, and so Alucard changes his position. His legs are instead splayed out, alleviating some of the stress between them, but precious little.
He knows that means unbuttoning his own trousers, but he waits for a few moments, just so he can watch Trevor undo his own. Watch whatever tumbles out and oh. He caused that, didn't he?
That's the thought that his him the hardest. Sends his own hand scrambling to just unleash the trousers and fastening of undergarments as quickly as possible, because the tension is far too much. But once out, Alucard doesn't move his hands, Not until he can see what Trevor's begun to do.]
[ So far, so good. Alucard isn't laughing at him, or calling him perverted or- anything he was worried about, really. He strokes once, twice, slowly, coaxing himself to hardness. ]
Just- watch what I do. And if you copy it, and you're watching me- then you can act like it's your dick here. Like I'm touching you, but without the me touching you part.
[ It seems like a good idea in his head, at least. ]
[He thinks he can do that, at least. Alucard's never heard this particular tone in his own voice, and it's so, so heady that it takes a moment to realize it's his own.
Alucard's hand does wrap around himself. There's a soft hiss, adjusting to even that much pressure.]
[ The remaining worry about being judged fades from him, at that. His shoulders sink and he smiles, more relaxed now. ]
Whenever you're ready for it, I'll be here.
[ When he moves his hand, it's slow. He knows that even this much is going to be a lot for Alucard. And- honestly if he does the same thing, and pretends that it's his dick in Alucard's hand, it's a lot for him as well. ]
[Alucard would be baffled about a fear of judgement. Who could judge anyone in a moment like this?
He wants to ask more questions. Like if they're going to tell Sypha.
But he doesn't. He mirrors how Trevor moves his hand, and almost immediately there's a soft noise from him. It's delighted and pleased and it doesn't even hint at being overwhelmed - at least, not yet.]
[ They are, sooner rather than later. She needs to know that this works, even if he's pretty convinced that if she finds out that he tied himself up unprompted then she'll start laughing and never stop.
That noise of delight, though. It's wonderful. Something he thought he'd never hear, something he's been wanting to hear for so long now. ]
Fuck. Fuck, your hands are so soft.
[ It's not Alucard's hand, of course. But he can pretend. Act like they're doing this for each other, even if that isn't possible yet. And even pretending makes this different, so much better, than it would be otherwise. ] You're so lovely. So lovely.
[Alucard doesn't know if they'll be able to do this sooner rather than later. He wants to, he wants to just leap across the bed and take Trevor in hand, but it's important not to rush. He knows, and he loves Trevor for the caution in this.
But also fuck if those words don't hit him right in the core, and his hand speeds up by accident.]
That tongue is too smooth. You've been taking lessons from Sypha.
[He probably has. Probably learned all the right words for this moment from her too.]
Perhaps. [ Absolutely. ] Maybe I've just had a lot of time to think about what to say. [ Also true. He's been thinking about this for so, so long.
He brings his eyes up to Alucard's for a moment, grinning as he increases his pace to match his. ]
Maybe eventually you'll be able to find out just how smooth it is. [ He pairs that statement with a long, slower stroke, because it absolutely needed clarifying what he was referring to. ]
[Alucard lets out a soft sigh at that. It's the words mixed with that slow motion that makes the noise happen, and then Alucard's hand tries to slow down too.
[ He's used by now to being the one to ask those sorts of questions, to give warning and ask permission for contact. It's nice to have that turned around. Shit, it's only a kiss they're talking about and he's still gripping himself a little tighter with anticipation. Is this what it's like for Alucard every time they ask permission to touch him? ]
Of course.
[ He looks down again, at Alucard's hand and his not-entirely-controlled movements, and tries to match the pace to keep the illusion of touching each other going a little longer. ]
Thought so [ He chuckles to himself a little, but it’s not like he has any room to talk. Usually he’d last at least a little longer, but this is more than usual. He hisses in air as he tries to match Alucard’s almost desperate pace. ]
Fuck. You’re so pretty like this. You- [ He is. Beautiful. Trevor looks like he’s about to say something else but then he draws his lower lip between his teeth, breath coming out as a long whine. ]
[It's a question, or at least Alucard tries to make it sound like a question. The sudden breath was a concern, but no. Alucard understands what's going on, and from him there's no whine. There's just a sharp breath and a loud groan, and--
---he's just warm. All over. Warm and boneless and breathless and he might be using his other hand to just remain upright.]
[ Remaining upright is highly overrated. Trevor sinks onto his side, letting the soft mattress and blankets devour him. ]
Adrian.
[ It's soft and contented, and it's a few long breaths before he has the energy to raise one arm, silently inviting Alucard to join him. But it is an invitation and not a demand. Alucard's managed so much today, he's not going to be upset if he can't manage the cuddling part. ]
[Alucard does flop over towards Trevor. He's overwhelmed. He might yet withdraw. But he still wants that kiss and after all of that, it feels wrong not to go close to Trevor in any way.
He doesn't press up close against Trevor. He's an small distance away, just enough to kiss Trevor again.
It's a soft and unsure one. Alucard isn't sure of his own feelings right now, never mind Trevor's.]
[ He wants more. No matter how much he tries to be unselfish, tries to think about how hard Alucard must be trying in order to get this far, he still can't stop himself from wanting more. He wants to pull Alucard close, until he can feel his heart beat against his own chest. Wants to bury his face in his hair and pepper every part of him he can reach in kisses.
But he barely even kisses back, just lets his lips press against Alucard's. When it ends he reaches up, twisting a lock of Alucard's hair around a finger, then brings it to his lips and kisses that instead ]
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He shouldn't raise his expectations too much. Alucard's clearly caught up in some part of this, and he's spent enough nights drinking to know that it's possible to sincerely regret something that you would have killed for the last night. He slips his hands free of the ropes.
He should have Alucard untie him if this happens again, he realises a little too late. Give him control over when the- ritual? Is this a ritual? - ends. But for now his hands are already free when the thought occurs to him.
Just bringing my hands forward. Won't touch you.
He should say something other than that, shouldn't he? At least to explain that Alucard didn't do anything wrong. But he's having a little difficulty coming up with words when all his body's resources are being diverted somewhere else entirely. ]
You did- That was good. I just don't want you pushing yourself too far.
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I understand. You're...[He smiles.] You're my guardian in this. I trust you.
[But then he shifts uncomfortably, looking down for a moment and flushing a brilliant red.]
Should I...?
[He picks one hand up, gesturing to himself.]
How do I deal with this?
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[ It wasn't as if he'd been unaware that this would be a problem, more- he didn't expect to be asked how one deals with this situation. His gaze follows Alucard's gesture, even though he knows exactly what he's being asked about, and settles for rather longer than he meant it to. ] Right. [ He should answer, shouldn't he? ]
It's- I mean- [ with some effort, he tears his gaze away. ] if you don't want to do anything, it'll go away eventually. Or cold water'll do it, or-
[ He looks down again. Then further down, to himself, and then back up to try to actually look Alucard in the eyes. ] -I could show you?
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Please. I--
[God, he'd be bright red if he was human.]
Will it be okay if I copy what you do?
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[ He shuffles back a little across the bed, until he’s just out of arms reach from Alucard. This seems like it could get uncomfortable if he messes up, so hopefully the distance will help. After only a moments’ hesitation, he begins to unlace his trousers, watching Alucard intently as he does ]
Just- tell me if you need me to stop. It’s fine.
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[The word is much more breathless than Alucard wanted it to be. There's still that undercurrent of want in there, and his eyes go to Trevor's trousers with a little too much intensity.
He seems to catch that too, and Alucard shifts so that he's focused on Trevor's face.]
And if you'd rather I not, just say so.
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[ In truth, he’s more than a little worried about doing this wrong somehow. He figured this out himself, and he’s never known any other men save for his interrogators (men of the church, even if he were in a position to ask them), the forgemaster (the topic just never came up) and Dracula himself (no). It’s hard to shake the feeling that Alucard’s going to judge him, even with the knowledge that he’s in no position to do so.
Carefully, he finishes unlacing his trousers and eases them down to his thighs. Alucard’s easlier actions have definitely had their effect on him, and he’s most of the way to hardness despite the nervousness. He ghosts a hand over himself, hissing in breath and sighing it out. If he tilts his head just so then he can’t quite see Alucard’s arm, removing the evidence that it isn’t Alucard’s hand there. ]
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He knows that means unbuttoning his own trousers, but he waits for a few moments, just so he can watch Trevor undo his own. Watch whatever tumbles out and oh. He caused that, didn't he?
That's the thought that his him the hardest. Sends his own hand scrambling to just unleash the trousers and fastening of undergarments as quickly as possible, because the tension is far too much. But once out, Alucard doesn't move his hands, Not until he can see what Trevor's begun to do.]
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Just- watch what I do. And if you copy it, and you're watching me- then you can act like it's your dick here. Like I'm touching you, but without the me touching you part.
[ It seems like a good idea in his head, at least. ]
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[He thinks he can do that, at least. Alucard's never heard this particular tone in his own voice, and it's so, so heady that it takes a moment to realize it's his own.
Alucard's hand does wrap around himself. There's a soft hiss, adjusting to even that much pressure.]
I'll...one day I want this from you.
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Whenever you're ready for it, I'll be here.
[ When he moves his hand, it's slow. He knows that even this much is going to be a lot for Alucard. And- honestly if he does the same thing, and pretends that it's his dick in Alucard's hand, it's a lot for him as well. ]
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He wants to ask more questions. Like if they're going to tell Sypha.
But he doesn't. He mirrors how Trevor moves his hand, and almost immediately there's a soft noise from him. It's delighted and pleased and it doesn't even hint at being overwhelmed - at least, not yet.]
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That noise of delight, though. It's wonderful. Something he thought he'd never hear, something he's been wanting to hear for so long now. ]
Fuck. Fuck, your hands are so soft.
[ It's not Alucard's hand, of course. But he can pretend. Act like they're doing this for each other, even if that isn't possible yet. And even pretending makes this different, so much better, than it would be otherwise. ] You're so lovely. So lovely.
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But also fuck if those words don't hit him right in the core, and his hand speeds up by accident.]
That tongue is too smooth. You've been taking lessons from Sypha.
[He probably has. Probably learned all the right words for this moment from her too.]
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He brings his eyes up to Alucard's for a moment, grinning as he increases his pace to match his. ]
Maybe eventually you'll be able to find out just how smooth it is. [ He pairs that statement with a long, slower stroke, because it absolutely needed clarifying what he was referring to. ]
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It doesn't work at all. His hand's still fast.]
I'd like that.
[Fuck. He's never felt this warm before.]
Can...can we kiss after we're done? Please?
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Of course.
[ He looks down again, at Alucard's hand and his not-entirely-controlled movements, and tries to match the pace to keep the illusion of touching each other going a little longer. ]
You getting close?
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Yes. Very.
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Fuck. You’re so pretty like this. You- [ He is. Beautiful. Trevor looks like he’s about to say something else but then he draws his lower lip between his teeth, breath coming out as a long whine. ]
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[It's a question, or at least Alucard tries to make it sound like a question. The sudden breath was a concern, but no. Alucard understands what's going on, and from him there's no whine. There's just a sharp breath and a loud groan, and--
---he's just warm. All over. Warm and boneless and breathless and he might be using his other hand to just remain upright.]
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Adrian.
[ It's soft and contented, and it's a few long breaths before he has the energy to raise one arm, silently inviting Alucard to join him. But it is an invitation and not a demand. Alucard's managed so much today, he's not going to be upset if he can't manage the cuddling part. ]
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He doesn't press up close against Trevor. He's an small distance away, just enough to kiss Trevor again.
It's a soft and unsure one. Alucard isn't sure of his own feelings right now, never mind Trevor's.]
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But he barely even kisses back, just lets his lips press against Alucard's. When it ends he reaches up, twisting a lock of Alucard's hair around a finger, then brings it to his lips and kisses that instead ]
You did fucking brilliant.
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[He knows there must be so much restraint on Trevor's end. It's beautiful, how he knows to reign himself in. How good he is to Alucard's needs.]
You do so much for me.
[I love you for that.]
I don't know if I express my gratitude enough but...it's there. It always will be. You're so important.