[ They've kissed before, but it was always just a thing that happened sometimes. There was emotion behind it, of course, but it always seemed like a function of Alucard needing touch to communicate.
This isn't that. This is more, somehow. And different. And halfway through kissing back he has to redirect his thoughts to something unpleasant to avoid having to leave again. When the kiss breaks, he has a hand on Alucard's cheek, staring at him intently. ]
Still scared here? [ He asks it softly, because this bed feels like the safest place in the world. ]
From here on out, this is the only place where I can be.
[The safest part of the castle for his emotions, he means. Once Dracula leaves tomorrow, he can only be an ice cold thing with no emotions. No heart. Just logic and law, and what choices his father would make. Not a tyrant precisely, but close enough.
[ The only place he can be scared. That's- about right, probably. Alucard and Lisa's presence has been the only place where Trevor's felt safe to be visibly afraid for a long, long time. It's only fair that he return the favour.
There's only so much he can do to actively hold Alucard, being held the way he is, but he lets his hand rest on his side, rubbing up and down. ]
Be as scared as you please, then. Secret's safe with me.
[ It's delicate, when he kisses back. Careful, like Alucard might break if he makes a wrong move. ]
Whatever happens, I'll be here. Even if nobody else can be.
[They're words sighed against Trevor's mouth, and while Alucard doesn't exactly go still, he seems to settle down against Trevor's warmth and presence. Tomorrow the world changes.
[ He doesn't sleep so deeply, tonight. Stays awake for a long time, watching Alucard's face. Watching his breath move his hair about.
He's going to lose him. One way or another he's going to lose him during this. He'll live, he can make sure of that. But he can't see any way that he can come out of this as himself. It's long past dawn when he leans forward to kiss Alucard again and then finally, finally sleeps.
He doesn't speak much when they wake. Helps Alucard with the more intricate part of his robes and dresses himself in his formal clothes to see Dracula's departure. Waits until he's out of sight. And god, there's so much work to be done, but all of it feels so small and insignificant in comparison to the situation. ]
Come to the library with me? [ He finally says after a little while. There are other things he needs to attend to before long, but the business with the speaker is probably the most pressing. And it's something he can do at Alucard's side - he's well aware that Dracula said the castle would lead him to Dracula's lists of his enemies, not the two of them. ] I have something I need to test.
[Alucard manages to sleep, and that matter surprises himself. He doesn't let go of Trevor, but his grip lightens the longer he rests. That's the only good part of any of this, and then...
...morning comes and the world shifts beneath their feet. He's quiet as he dresses, hating that and hating that Trevor has to help put on all the intricate garments and make them all look just so. Blacks and deep moonlight silvers today, along with streaks of royal red. He's the king for all intents and purposes now.
He doesn't bother worrying about breakfast. Nothing would settle his stomach at the moment.
[ He doesn't try to offer comfort. He doesn't know how, and even if he did it wouldn't be appropriate. But moving forward, and moving forward with something that Alucard can stomach, that's something he can do. ]
You remember the spell we used to play with when we were younger? The one for sending messages.
[ Lisa’s distaff, the one she gave him when he first came here, leans against one of the reading chairs. The spindle rests on the chair itself. ]
It was restricted to the castle because it used the castle as a medium. [ And maybe also because Dracula is paranoid. ] That’s why it was easy to use, because the castle was doing most of the work. I’m trying to use the thread for something similar. It’ll take a lot more magic, but the Speakers have that to spare.
Except it totally is. He takes the thread and drapes it around his neck, careful to make sure that it doesn't disturb his hair's styling for the day. The thread stands in stark contrast against all the darkness of the vampire's clothes.]
It does, just a little. If I were going to use magic to code the message it’d need a drop of blood, maybe, but that’s going to take a lot more work.
[ He takes the thread, tucking it below Alucard’s collar to touch the skin. He brushes his cheek with a thumb as he does, softly but deliberately. It’s about the most contact they can make outside of his own chambers. ]
Just stay here and read for an hour or so. I’m going to take one of the horses a little way away from the castle. If you’re still clear a few miles away, I’ll call it a success for now.
[There's a lot of layers to get through, but Alucard does his level best to make it easier. And...there. The thread lies against bare, pale skin. His eyes meet Trevor's, and...]
We can't take more than two hours for this. I want to talk to him a little before he leaves, and his departure is set for three hours from now.+
[Only the second one is a command. And then there's the little sigh as Trevor's hands withdraw, and the dhampir has to try and look at books as a distraction.]
[ In reality, it should probably take longer to walk through the castle to the stables and saddle the horse than it would to ride the mile or so. Should. The castle is helpful like that, and the library doors suddenly lead to the entrance hall and the horse is already ready. So it isn't long, really, before- ]
Reading anything interesting?
[ The thread shakes with magic, and Trevor's voice is in Alucard's mind. ]
[All Alucard does when Trevor leaves is pace. It is hard to pay attention to anything at the moment, as all he has is the worst anxiety in the world. Given enough time, he could wear a pathway into the wood.
But Trevor's voice cuts in. Alucard's concentration wraps around the thread and he attempts a response:]
Colder than it ought to be for this time of year - going to need to take that into consideration, if we're working with the speakers. Figure out how to make sure they don't just fucking starve without making it clear that we're aiding them.
[ He's talking to himself there. ]
If the snow was going to interfere, it would have by now. You manage to speak to your father yet?
You just stop using the magic to- oh. Right. Castle. Shit.
[ He won't be actively using magic to maintain the connection the way Trevor is, because the castle's probably taking on that burden for him. Being helpful in an unhelpful way. ]
I'll stop on my end. And figure out that detail when I get back.
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This isn't that. This is more, somehow. And different. And halfway through kissing back he has to redirect his thoughts to something unpleasant to avoid having to leave again. When the kiss breaks, he has a hand on Alucard's cheek, staring at him intently. ]
Still scared here? [ He asks it softly, because this bed feels like the safest place in the world. ]
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[The safest part of the castle for his emotions, he means. Once Dracula leaves tomorrow, he can only be an ice cold thing with no emotions. No heart. Just logic and law, and what choices his father would make. Not a tyrant precisely, but close enough.
He leans against the hand on his cheek.]
And you're the only one who will ever know.
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There's only so much he can do to actively hold Alucard, being held the way he is, but he lets his hand rest on his side, rubbing up and down. ]
Be as scared as you please, then. Secret's safe with me.
[ It's delicate, when he kisses back. Careful, like Alucard might break if he makes a wrong move. ]
Whatever happens, I'll be here. Even if nobody else can be.
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[They're words sighed against Trevor's mouth, and while Alucard doesn't exactly go still, he seems to settle down against Trevor's warmth and presence. Tomorrow the world changes.
But tonight they can just have this.]
Good night. I'll see you come evening.
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He's going to lose him. One way or another he's going to lose him during this. He'll live, he can make sure of that. But he can't see any way that he can come out of this as himself. It's long past dawn when he leans forward to kiss Alucard again and then finally, finally sleeps.
He doesn't speak much when they wake. Helps Alucard with the more intricate part of his robes and dresses himself in his formal clothes to see Dracula's departure. Waits until he's out of sight. And god, there's so much work to be done, but all of it feels so small and insignificant in comparison to the situation. ]
Come to the library with me? [ He finally says after a little while. There are other things he needs to attend to before long, but the business with the speaker is probably the most pressing. And it's something he can do at Alucard's side - he's well aware that Dracula said the castle would lead him to Dracula's lists of his enemies, not the two of them. ] I have something I need to test.
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...morning comes and the world shifts beneath their feet. He's quiet as he dresses, hating that and hating that Trevor has to help put on all the intricate garments and make them all look just so. Blacks and deep moonlight silvers today, along with streaks of royal red. He's the king for all intents and purposes now.
He doesn't bother worrying about breakfast. Nothing would settle his stomach at the moment.
It's a blessing when Trevor says the word test.]
Of course. May I ask what the experiment is?
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[ He doesn't try to offer comfort. He doesn't know how, and even if he did it wouldn't be appropriate. But moving forward, and moving forward with something that Alucard can stomach, that's something he can do. ]
You remember the spell we used to play with when we were younger? The one for sending messages.
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[ Lisa’s distaff, the one she gave him when he first came here, leans against one of the reading chairs. The spindle rests on the chair itself. ]
It was restricted to the castle because it used the castle as a medium. [ And maybe also because Dracula is paranoid. ] That’s why it was easy to use, because the castle was doing most of the work. I’m trying to use the thread for something similar. It’ll take a lot more magic, but the Speakers have that to spare.
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What Trevor is proposing, Alucard considers. His father would hate it.]
You want to use it to communicate with them remotely. Can you do that through heavy coding?
[Speaking of paranoia...]
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[ He takes a length of the thread, ties it into a long loop and hands it to Alucard like the world’s most boring necklace ]
Wear this.
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Except it totally is. He takes the thread and drapes it around his neck, careful to make sure that it doesn't disturb his hair's styling for the day. The thread stands in stark contrast against all the darkness of the vampire's clothes.]
Does it have to touch skin?
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[ He takes the thread, tucking it below Alucard’s collar to touch the skin. He brushes his cheek with a thumb as he does, softly but deliberately. It’s about the most contact they can make outside of his own chambers. ]
Just stay here and read for an hour or so. I’m going to take one of the horses a little way away from the castle. If you’re still clear a few miles away, I’ll call it a success for now.
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We can't take more than two hours for this. I want to talk to him a little before he leaves, and his departure is set for three hours from now.+
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[ He brings his hands away from Alucard, only a little reluctantly. ]
I'll ride fast and be back within the hour.
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[Only the second one is a command. And then there's the little sigh as Trevor's hands withdraw, and the dhampir has to try and look at books as a distraction.]
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Reading anything interesting?
[ The thread shakes with magic, and Trevor's voice is in Alucard's mind. ]
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But Trevor's voice cuts in. Alucard's concentration wraps around the thread and he attempts a response:]
Of course not. Where are you?
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[ None of that is actually an answer, Treffy. ]
About a mile and a half out. Going to bring the horse back now.
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[He can see that non-answer, Treffy.]
How cold is it out?
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[ He's talking to himself there. ]
If the snow was going to interfere, it would have by now. You manage to speak to your father yet?
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[Cold. He can live with that.]
No, I was waiting for your experiment to conclude. I'll go do that now.
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[ A long pause, then- ]
-good luck. I'll be with you soon, if he's in a shitty mood.
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You just stop using the magic to- oh. Right. Castle. Shit.
[ He won't be actively using magic to maintain the connection the way Trevor is, because the castle's probably taking on that burden for him. Being helpful in an unhelpful way. ]
I'll stop on my end. And figure out that detail when I get back.
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