[ Trevor's idea of 'bed' has been the ground or big enough tree for most of his life. Sometimes the carcass of a night creature. Sometimes piles of dried leaves. A little too often, a gutter or the floor of a tavern.
And so he finds it just about impossible to understand Alucard's complaints about a straw mattress being too uncomfortable. Until he'd come to the castle, that represented the peak of luxury to him. It was what he had slept on at home and, as Alucard had proven to enjoy reminding him, his family were nobility. And certainly it wasn't as soft as the feather mattress that their shared bed used, certainly there was the odd sharp poke from a piece of straw that refused to lie properly with the others, but it was soft and pleasant enough to sleep on and firm enough that one didn't just feel at risk of disappearing into it at all times the way one did with feathers. ]
Sypha told me a story like this.
[ And maybe he's just a little sore about the fact that Alucard spent the night reading rather than lying next to him because the inn's mattress didn't meet his standards. And that's why he's still going on about this almost a full day later, now they're almost back at the castle. ]
About how a king and queen had to determine their daughter from an impostor. And you know what they did?
[ He probably knows what they did. It's certainly mattress-related, because that's all Trevor has been getting at Alucard about for the last half hour and because the grin on his face means this cannot be about anything other than 'continuing to get at Alucard'. ]
Oh, is this about putting some small rock under the bed, because a young woman raised with true luxury would be able to pick it out?
[Alucard knows full well he has been spoiled for comfort in his life. Not for wealth, although that is a massive factor in it, but for his father's knowledge and understanding of the world. No other child grew up with electric lights and heated floors. Few would grow up with telescopes to look at the sky with such refined eyes. Not even boyars, it seems, get to have plush bedding. It shows in all ways. Even his coffin under Gresit was plush.
So maybe he's hypersensitive about where they sleep. Most nights, it isn't a problem, he barely sleeps anyway. But there are some times when he simply cannot deal with straw poking through threadworn mattress, just like last night. It happens, and he deserves all the shit for it.]
You can drop it now, you know, you've done enough vampire shaming for the day.
[ Which he can never, by the way, do enough of. He's a Belmont. Vampire shaming is what he does. He puts an arm over Alucard's shoulder, pulling him close enough that if that grin was half as loud as it looked, it'd be deafening him. ]
This is spoiled little princeling shaming. I'll have to let Sypha know that you're far too soft and delicate to share a bed with us common folk.
[That is met with a very sharp elbow to Trevor's side, because!!! This is stupid!!! And there's a scowl too because this is too much and it is so terribly, terribly unfair.]
Shut up, boyar. You don't get to make any claim about being commonfolk and you know it.
Last I checked, what remains of the Belmont lands were yours, not mine. I've not had claim to that title in more than three years.
[ He doesn't return the elbow, if only because he doesn't have a convenient elbow to do so with. Instead he just pulls Alucard closer, pressing his head against his. ]
[The closeness is nice though. Easy to settle against, even if the next comment really deserves a low, unhappy hiss. Alucard knows the entire point is to get a reaction, and damn himself for giving in so damned easily.]
You know, it is beyond infuriating to not have a word that rankles you back.
[ Except for, you know, all the times that he has outright said that Alucard is a Belmont in all but name. That doesn't count because they both know what he's referring to. ]
Would you like to try some? I'll do mu best to sound terribly offended.
Hm. I would venture to say the castle probably did land on a few owned lands when I was growing up.
[Speaking of, it seems. Alucard's eyes catch a view of one of the spires towering over the treeline, and there's a visible perk at that. They're nearly home, and thank God for it.]
And before. There's a lot of places to be in four centuries.
[ And- Alucard can probably tell that he's made a terrible, terrible mistake just by Trevor's tone. And if not by that, then by the terrible, terrible laughter that follows it. ]
You know, you really ought to have told me that years ago. I'd have been more considerate of your tastes.
Oh, you meant the mattress. And here I thought you were objecting to my company.
[ They're close enough now to see that Sypha's horse is still missing. She's not expected back for a few more days, but it'd have been nice if she were early.
But her absence does mean that even back in the castle, there's going to be little escaping this. He leans his head against Alucard's again, taking on a tone of badly feigned sympathy. ]
My poor, dearest princeling, laid low by a terribly uncomfortable mattress.
While under most circumstances I would claim I would never object, but you are starting to explore that territory.
[It's terrible that Sypha's away. She'd put a stop to this. (No she wouldn't, she'd just make it worse.) But for all of this, there's a content enough sigh out of Alucard, because this is a part of being home too.]
Tread very carefully, Belmont, or I might decide on a royal hissyfit as well and see no one for days. Sypha has told me a few stories about when that happens, and the quests are not pretty.
Well that sounds shit. I had better behave myself appropriately around royalty.
[ They're at the doorway now, which is incredibly fortuitous timing. Because Trevor Belmont has just stumbled upon The Funniest Idea Ever and this is the perfect place to do it. He pulls his arm back from around Alucard's shoulder and takes his hand when he reaches out to open the doors, pulling him gently to face him instead.
He kneels, holding Alucard's hand still. ]
I, Trevor Christopher Belmont, do hereby swear to avert the wrath of misbehaving straw and protect you from the horror of unsatisfying beds.
[ And then he kisses Alucard's knuckles, gaze not leaving his eyes. ]
[This is fucking ridiculous. They're both still carrying bags from the road, the past half hour has been dedicated to just needling the vampire, and now this.
Except some gestures, even when they are absolutely drenched in sarcasm, are terribly sweet. Like this. There's no damn reason at all for Trevor to be kneeling for this level of being an asshole, and there's no reason to read romance in it unless one knew Trevor very well.
It's the kisses that get him though. Puts color on his cheeks, and there's just a muttered damnit that means Trevor's just won at bully the vampire.[
[ It's not much of a flush, especially for someone as pale as Alucard, but Trevor knows what to look for by now. And it's maybe a shame that Sypha isn't here, because he managed to win just before they got inside. And Sypha is a lot more likely to take his side rather than Alucard's when faced with a blushing vampire than with him attempting to bicker with the vampire.
She's work-shy that way. Likes her vampire prepared for her.
He stands, still holding Alucard's hand in his own, and kisses it one more time before letting go so that Alucard can actually open the doors. ]
What terrible quest do you have for me, your beautiful highness?
[This is so goddamn rude. Because it's on purpose, because having Sypha here would actually just be egging Trevor on even more and then helping in her own way, and because Alucard's just standing on his own doorstep, blindsided and blushfaced like a maiden.
(That's the point. He knows it's the point! Why doesn't that stop any of this?!)
His free hand, the one Trevor wasn't holding onto, is trying to hide that blush and failing. So the only thing he can do is pretend to regain dignity by turning away from Trevor and opening the doors for them both.
The castle's never been an alive thing, but it seems to know who's home and be glad for it. Alucard's quicker than usual, and once within the safe walls of home, he knows that the first step is to throw all their bags aside.]
[ He doesn't actually throw the bags aside. He puts them down properly, even making sure that they're not in the way of anything. He's behaving himself.
Because he's just determined that behaving himself is the best way to mess with Alucard, naturally. He stretches a little and then stands differently, properly, not slouching as he usually does. And his smile is the smuggest fucking thing. ]
Of course, my beloved princeling.
[ And he intends to shut up. Because respecting Alucard's 'authority' is the best way he can think of to continue being a shit. ]
Alucard squints at that. A lot. Because Trevor behaving is like a prelude to Trevor doing something else entirely, and he has no idea what to brace for right now. (He has a thing he'd prefer, but this thing has a momentum of it's own.)
It also means that he has a moment or two to be practical in all of this.]
I'm going to check the kitchen to see what we're out of, can you take the clothing bags upstairs please?
[ Well, shit. Not as funny as he'd hoped. But he bows in the most ridiculously over the top manner he can think of, and does as instructed and even manages to refrain from putting a pebble under the mattress while he's there (that also sounds like a hilarious thing to do, but one thing at a time. And maybe Sypha will appreciate it, since it was her story in the first place).
He goes to the kitchen once he's done and stands like a soldier waiting for orders, straight with feet together and arms behind his back. But also with a stupid smug grin, because he needs to indicate to Alucard that he's still being fucked with somehow. And also because he has a shitty poker face. ]
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cryptsleeper) wrote2018-11-10 11:26 pm
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And so he finds it just about impossible to understand Alucard's complaints about a straw mattress being too uncomfortable. Until he'd come to the castle, that represented the peak of luxury to him. It was what he had slept on at home and, as Alucard had proven to enjoy reminding him, his family were nobility. And certainly it wasn't as soft as the feather mattress that their shared bed used, certainly there was the odd sharp poke from a piece of straw that refused to lie properly with the others, but it was soft and pleasant enough to sleep on and firm enough that one didn't just feel at risk of disappearing into it at all times the way one did with feathers. ]
Sypha told me a story like this.
[ And maybe he's just a little sore about the fact that Alucard spent the night reading rather than lying next to him because the inn's mattress didn't meet his standards. And that's why he's still going on about this almost a full day later, now they're almost back at the castle. ]
About how a king and queen had to determine their daughter from an impostor. And you know what they did?
[ He probably knows what they did. It's certainly mattress-related, because that's all Trevor has been getting at Alucard about for the last half hour and because the grin on his face means this cannot be about anything other than 'continuing to get at Alucard'. ]
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[Alucard knows full well he has been spoiled for comfort in his life. Not for wealth, although that is a massive factor in it, but for his father's knowledge and understanding of the world. No other child grew up with electric lights and heated floors. Few would grow up with telescopes to look at the sky with such refined eyes. Not even boyars, it seems, get to have plush bedding. It shows in all ways. Even his coffin under Gresit was plush.
So maybe he's hypersensitive about where they sleep. Most nights, it isn't a problem, he barely sleeps anyway. But there are some times when he simply cannot deal with straw poking through threadworn mattress, just like last night. It happens, and he deserves all the shit for it.]
You can drop it now, you know, you've done enough vampire shaming for the day.
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[ Which he can never, by the way, do enough of. He's a Belmont. Vampire shaming is what he does. He puts an arm over Alucard's shoulder, pulling him close enough that if that grin was half as loud as it looked, it'd be deafening him. ]
This is spoiled little princeling shaming. I'll have to let Sypha know that you're far too soft and delicate to share a bed with us common folk.
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Shut up, boyar. You don't get to make any claim about being commonfolk and you know it.
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[ He doesn't return the elbow, if only because he doesn't have a convenient elbow to do so with. Instead he just pulls Alucard closer, pressing his head against his. ]
Our dearest little princeling.
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[The closeness is nice though. Easy to settle against, even if the next comment really deserves a low, unhappy hiss. Alucard knows the entire point is to get a reaction, and damn himself for giving in so damned easily.]
You know, it is beyond infuriating to not have a word that rankles you back.
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[ Except for, you know, all the times that he has outright said that Alucard is a Belmont in all but name. That doesn't count because they both know what he's referring to. ]
Would you like to try some? I'll do mu best to sound terribly offended.
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[He's warm enough, playing it off as a joke because it's still a sensitive enough subject for Trevor.]
No, no point. Half the joy is finding something that lands in the moment, when you aren't expecting it.
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Maybe that's why we've been fighting vampires all this time. Enforcing land ownership laws.
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[Speaking of, it seems. Alucard's eyes catch a view of one of the spires towering over the treeline, and there's a visible perk at that. They're nearly home, and thank God for it.]
And before. There's a lot of places to be in four centuries.
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Claiming lands all across Europe. So well-traveled, princeling, and yet you can't bear a normal bed.
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[He smirks up at Trevor, because that has to at least get some kind of reaction.]
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[ And then, grinning too widely to even feign being offended. ]
Or do you need both of us there to lower yourself to using the furniture, and just the one isn't good enough?
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[Oh, Trevor. That's actually terribly sweet. He lets it go though, at least for now.]
All I need is to not be prodded in the backside while I'm trying to rest.
[Wait that didn't come out right.]
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[ And- Alucard can probably tell that he's made a terrible, terrible mistake just by Trevor's tone. And if not by that, then by the terrible, terrible laughter that follows it. ]
You know, you really ought to have told me that years ago. I'd have been more considerate of your tastes.
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You know full well what I meant, Belmont!
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[ They're close enough now to see that Sypha's horse is still missing. She's not expected back for a few more days, but it'd have been nice if she were early.
But her absence does mean that even back in the castle, there's going to be little escaping this. He leans his head against Alucard's again, taking on a tone of badly feigned sympathy. ]
My poor, dearest princeling, laid low by a terribly uncomfortable mattress.
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[It's terrible that Sypha's away. She'd put a stop to this. (No she wouldn't, she'd just make it worse.) But for all of this, there's a content enough sigh out of Alucard, because this is a part of being home too.]
Tread very carefully, Belmont, or I might decide on a royal hissyfit as well and see no one for days. Sypha has told me a few stories about when that happens, and the quests are not pretty.
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[ They're at the doorway now, which is incredibly fortuitous timing. Because Trevor Belmont has just stumbled upon The Funniest Idea Ever and this is the perfect place to do it. He pulls his arm back from around Alucard's shoulder and takes his hand when he reaches out to open the doors, pulling him gently to face him instead.
He kneels, holding Alucard's hand still. ]
I, Trevor Christopher Belmont, do hereby swear to avert the wrath of misbehaving straw and protect you from the horror of unsatisfying beds.
[ And then he kisses Alucard's knuckles, gaze not leaving his eyes. ]
My dearest Princeling.
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Except some gestures, even when they are absolutely drenched in sarcasm, are terribly sweet. Like this. There's no damn reason at all for Trevor to be kneeling for this level of being an asshole, and there's no reason to read romance in it unless one knew Trevor very well.
It's the kisses that get him though. Puts color on his cheeks, and there's just a muttered damnit that means Trevor's just won at bully the vampire.[
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She's work-shy that way. Likes her vampire prepared for her.
He stands, still holding Alucard's hand in his own, and kisses it one more time before letting go so that Alucard can actually open the doors. ]
What terrible quest do you have for me, your beautiful highness?
[ Yes, he's going to be doing this all day now. ]
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(That's the point. He knows it's the point! Why doesn't that stop any of this?!)
His free hand, the one Trevor wasn't holding onto, is trying to hide that blush and failing. So the only thing he can do is pretend to regain dignity by turning away from Trevor and opening the doors for them both.
The castle's never been an alive thing, but it seems to know who's home and be glad for it. Alucard's quicker than usual, and once within the safe walls of home, he knows that the first step is to throw all their bags aside.]
The terrible quest of shutting up.
[The how is...very not mentioned.]
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Because he's just determined that behaving himself is the best way to mess with Alucard, naturally. He stretches a little and then stands differently, properly, not slouching as he usually does. And his smile is the smuggest fucking thing. ]
Of course, my beloved princeling.
[ And he intends to shut up. Because respecting Alucard's 'authority' is the best way he can think of to continue being a shit. ]
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Alucard squints at that. A lot. Because Trevor behaving is like a prelude to Trevor doing something else entirely, and he has no idea what to brace for right now. (He has a thing he'd prefer, but this thing has a momentum of it's own.)
It also means that he has a moment or two to be practical in all of this.]
I'm going to check the kitchen to see what we're out of, can you take the clothing bags upstairs please?
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He goes to the kitchen once he's done and stands like a soldier waiting for orders, straight with feet together and arms behind his back. But also with a stupid smug grin, because he needs to indicate to Alucard that he's still being fucked with somehow. And also because he has a shitty poker face. ]
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