Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

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[cryptsleeper]

I ate yesterday.

[A little! But he has no real bite in it, no particular argument back. There's just tiredness.]

I'm fine, Belmont.

[miraclewhip]

Did you? [ Ugh, he doesn't like this but- ] Fine.

[ Alucard's not back to normal, but last night seems to have- helped. He doesn't want to push too hard. ]

You don't have to have breakfast with us. But if the burns don't start healing soon I'm going to shove food down your throat. You know that, right?

[cryptsleeper]

[He isn't getting a fight? That's.

He's surprised. Genuinely.]

I know.

[He's going to end up with food down his throat. That's fine. He can't care too much at this point.]

The bacon's burning. Flip it.

[miraclewhip]

Shit, this thing cooks faster than-

[ He grabs a spatula, flipping the bacon over and maybe yelping just a little when the pan spits. ]

-there. Stupid fucking pig. [ Grumble grumble. He has figured out where plates live, at least, and he brings two down from a cupboard with no dolls in it. ]

-it's not a problem, is it?

[cryptsleeper]

It's more efficient, yes.

[Alucard looks over at the eggs, and points at them.]

Turn the heat down and add the eggs.

And no, no it is not.

[miraclewhip]

[ He follows the instructions, turning the knob first one way, then when that makes the flame larger turning it the other. ]

We'd- we were worried it might be. I mean- it's not like we were thinking 'let's leave the vampire behind and go fuck' when we left. [ Yeah. the problem he was asking about? Not cooking-related. ]

It just- happened.

[cryptsleeper]

[No. He doesn't want this conversation.]

We'll address that later.

[So. Much later.]

Keep your eyes on the eggs.

[miraclewhip]

[ Ah. So maybe it is a little bit of a problem.

He breaks the eggs into the pan, dodging the spitting fat this time. ]

Don't have to address it at all, if you don't want. Just- needed to know it wasn't going to cause problems.

[cryptsleeper]

I don't care, Trevor.

[He's too burnt to care.]

Just focus on getting breakfast on the table.

[miraclewhip]

Well. Good. That's that dealt with, then.

[ He's not entirely convinced that it's not a problem, but he's also happy to drop the topic. Besides, the burner does cook things much faster than heated stone does. ]

There we go. Eggs.

[cryptsleeper]

And now you know how that part of the kitchen works.

[He sounds pleased about that much. Doesn't smile, but there's satisfaction somewhere in all those miserable lines on her face.]

Go wake her up. I can keep this much warm.

[miraclewhip]

Yeah, I’ll be back soon.

[ He’s gone a little while, and Sypha’s attached to his arm when he returns. He guides her to a chair and she falls into it like syrup before noticing Alucard and perking up a little. ]

Oh! You’re up and about.

[cryptsleeper]

[The two plates are covered with pot lids until they get back. Keeping things warm. The bacon crisp. The eggs perfect.

When they approach, Alucard removes those lids and--

--oh.]

A little, yes.

[He feels like a deer in the headlights, and all he wants to do is move in the other direction.]

He cooked it all

[miraclewhip]

You showed him how to use the-

[ She perks up at that, enough to notice that there are only two plates. Trevor pulls out a chair to sit and starts eating, only freezing when Sypha looks at him disapprovingly. Egg hanging from his mouth. ]

Why doesn't he have breakfast?

Ibbn'- [ ...He takes a moment to finish that bit of egg. ] -He didn't want any.

[cryptsleeper]

I'm not hungry, Sypha. He offered.

[Instead? Alucard takes the pan. Moves over and start to clean it quickly.]

I promise it wasn't a matter of exclusion.

[miraclewhip]

[ Sypha makes a disapproving noise, but Trevor reaches out to squeeze her hand. ]

Come on. Eggs. You like eggs.

[ And that seems to be that. They eat breakfast, and Sypha is worried but content to let it drop for now. ]

Sit down with us, once you're done? We can eat and figure out everyone's plan for the day, like-

[ He cuts himself off. Like a family. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard doesn't say much else. Focuses on the dishes and just--

--he shakes his head.]

People are hard right now, Belmont.

[miraclewhip]

[ It's funny, isn't it? They were gone when - if those dolls that he's trying not to acknowledge are any indication - he wanted them here. And now they're here when he needs to be alone. ]

Same rules as before, then. I'll bring dinner for you tonight, you can- do what you want until then, I suppose. I'm not exactly in charge of anyone here.

[ A sigh. ]

I'll be wrestling with the garden again, if you need me.

[cryptsleeper]

--Very well.

[He floats off. Back to the same room. Taking all the blankets with him, because that? That is still safe.

And he stays there. Stays there until sometime just before dinner when there is a smell in the air and that smell? That's fire...]

[miraclewhip]

[ It's difficult to have a strong reaction anymore, to the smell of fire and smoke. Difficult around Sypha, who is all warmth, who always has just a little of that smell hanging in her robes. So he doesn't panic. Not even here, among the ruins of a place ravaged by it.

But he does take action. He needs to find Alucard and Sypha and he needs to figure out where the fire is and how to control it. And the fire? The fire he can smell, so that's the obvious first step.

He runs toward it, keeping an eye out for the other two along the way. ]

Sypha? Sypha!

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard floats. He knows the direction, this is a kitchen fire. So he speeds along, until his path intersects with Trevor and--]

Is she cooking?!

[miraclewhip]

I don't think-

[ There's a hissing sound and a loud yelp from the kitchen, because someone's first instinct was to throw water on an oil fire. ]

Fuck, Sypha!

[ She's okay aside from some mild steam burns, thanks to the ability to direct the flaming oil that exploded out of the pan away from herself. The flames that leapt out of the pan when she added the water freeze in the air, burning until they run out of oil and then blinking out one by one. But the pan is still on fire. ]

[cryptsleeper]

She's not allowed to cook!

[Alucard floats right over to the sofa, evaluating the situation in a second. The pan is on fire. So Alucard first goes to grab a pot lid, and he slams that through the flames onto the fire itself. Then? Then the pan gets removed from the burner, thrown into the sink. His own skin blisters horribly as he does it, but so be it.]

Sypha, reduce any remaining flames then turn the burner off! I'll deal with the next step after that!

[miraclewhip]

[ He pushes Sypha down, and that's entirely reflex. Flames mean smoke, and smoke is more dangerous higher up, and-

-he's maybe working on instinct and dislike of fire here. But he distantly hears Alucard's voice, and Sypha hears it not-distantly enough to push down the fire. Trevor can move through the scalding steam as she does to turn off the burner. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[A few more seconds and the chaos ends. Sypha clears the smoke. The pan is no longer on fire. The dhampir looks like an angry cat with very poofy hair, and his eyes go to Sypha.]

What were you trying to cook?!

[It's less angry and more bewildered.]