Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

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[miraclewhip]

Huh.

[ He turns the fire off. Then back on again, and off again. Okay. He's got the hang of that. ]

Well, that saves me a lot of work. Or a lot of waking her up without an offering of food.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard doesn't quite laugh at Trevor's experiments with the stove, but he's entertained by how much it just seems to click.]

Both, I assume. There's a series of pans in the cabinet just to the right. Take out a medium sized one and we can begin.

[miraclewhip]

[ They've not actually poked around the kitchen very much. Not for any particular reason, they're just so used to being on the road that it never occured to either of them that it might be worth seeing if there was food lying around. Doing things the way they were used to gave them both a sense of things being normal.

Which means that when he opens the cupboard to take out a pan, it's actually his first encounter with the two spoon-armed things inside it.

And he proceeds to look at them for a moment and then ignore them, because that is way too much for his poor head to deal with both sober and before breakfast. ]

This one? [ He asks, pulling out a pan and closing the cupboard door. ]

[cryptsleeper]

That'll do.

[Alucard heads to the refridgerater at that, and he comes back over with four strips of very thick bacon.]

Turn the burner on, and we'll cook the bacon first. Then the eggs will fry in the remaining fat.

[He pauses, realizing that actually the kitchen is probably overwhelming for anyone who isn't him.]

Any questions?

[miraclewhip]

I'm guessing the burner is thing that burns.

[ He turns the flame back on, putting the pan over it. ]

Just one question. I'm not going to pretend to know my numbers, but I'm pretty sure four doesn't split between three. Assuming you weren't planning on starving either of us, where the fuck is your share?

[cryptsleeper]

Yes it is.

[Alucard adds the bacon into the pan, then backs off.]

I'm not very hungry at the moment.

[miraclewhip]

Like you weren't hungry yesterday. Or the day before.

[ He watches the bacon, turning the heat of the pan down a little so it doesn't burn before it cooks properly. ]

You still need to not starve, hungry or not.

[cryptsleeper]

I ate yesterday.

[A little! But he has no real bite in it, no particular argument back. There's just tiredness.]

I'm fine, Belmont.

[miraclewhip]

Did you? [ Ugh, he doesn't like this but- ] Fine.

[ Alucard's not back to normal, but last night seems to have- helped. He doesn't want to push too hard. ]

You don't have to have breakfast with us. But if the burns don't start healing soon I'm going to shove food down your throat. You know that, right?

[cryptsleeper]

[He isn't getting a fight? That's.

He's surprised. Genuinely.]

I know.

[He's going to end up with food down his throat. That's fine. He can't care too much at this point.]

The bacon's burning. Flip it.

[miraclewhip]

Shit, this thing cooks faster than-

[ He grabs a spatula, flipping the bacon over and maybe yelping just a little when the pan spits. ]

-there. Stupid fucking pig. [ Grumble grumble. He has figured out where plates live, at least, and he brings two down from a cupboard with no dolls in it. ]

-it's not a problem, is it?

[cryptsleeper]

It's more efficient, yes.

[Alucard looks over at the eggs, and points at them.]

Turn the heat down and add the eggs.

And no, no it is not.

[miraclewhip]

[ He follows the instructions, turning the knob first one way, then when that makes the flame larger turning it the other. ]

We'd- we were worried it might be. I mean- it's not like we were thinking 'let's leave the vampire behind and go fuck' when we left. [ Yeah. the problem he was asking about? Not cooking-related. ]

It just- happened.

[cryptsleeper]

[No. He doesn't want this conversation.]

We'll address that later.

[So. Much later.]

Keep your eyes on the eggs.

[miraclewhip]

[ Ah. So maybe it is a little bit of a problem.

He breaks the eggs into the pan, dodging the spitting fat this time. ]

Don't have to address it at all, if you don't want. Just- needed to know it wasn't going to cause problems.

[cryptsleeper]

I don't care, Trevor.

[He's too burnt to care.]

Just focus on getting breakfast on the table.

[miraclewhip]

Well. Good. That's that dealt with, then.

[ He's not entirely convinced that it's not a problem, but he's also happy to drop the topic. Besides, the burner does cook things much faster than heated stone does. ]

There we go. Eggs.

[cryptsleeper]

And now you know how that part of the kitchen works.

[He sounds pleased about that much. Doesn't smile, but there's satisfaction somewhere in all those miserable lines on her face.]

Go wake her up. I can keep this much warm.

[miraclewhip]

Yeah, I’ll be back soon.

[ He’s gone a little while, and Sypha’s attached to his arm when he returns. He guides her to a chair and she falls into it like syrup before noticing Alucard and perking up a little. ]

Oh! You’re up and about.

[cryptsleeper]

[The two plates are covered with pot lids until they get back. Keeping things warm. The bacon crisp. The eggs perfect.

When they approach, Alucard removes those lids and--

--oh.]

A little, yes.

[He feels like a deer in the headlights, and all he wants to do is move in the other direction.]

He cooked it all

[miraclewhip]

You showed him how to use the-

[ She perks up at that, enough to notice that there are only two plates. Trevor pulls out a chair to sit and starts eating, only freezing when Sypha looks at him disapprovingly. Egg hanging from his mouth. ]

Why doesn't he have breakfast?

Ibbn'- [ ...He takes a moment to finish that bit of egg. ] -He didn't want any.

[cryptsleeper]

I'm not hungry, Sypha. He offered.

[Instead? Alucard takes the pan. Moves over and start to clean it quickly.]

I promise it wasn't a matter of exclusion.

[miraclewhip]

[ Sypha makes a disapproving noise, but Trevor reaches out to squeeze her hand. ]

Come on. Eggs. You like eggs.

[ And that seems to be that. They eat breakfast, and Sypha is worried but content to let it drop for now. ]

Sit down with us, once you're done? We can eat and figure out everyone's plan for the day, like-

[ He cuts himself off. Like a family. ]

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard doesn't say much else. Focuses on the dishes and just--

--he shakes his head.]

People are hard right now, Belmont.

[miraclewhip]

[ It's funny, isn't it? They were gone when - if those dolls that he's trying not to acknowledge are any indication - he wanted them here. And now they're here when he needs to be alone. ]

Same rules as before, then. I'll bring dinner for you tonight, you can- do what you want until then, I suppose. I'm not exactly in charge of anyone here.

[ A sigh. ]

I'll be wrestling with the garden again, if you need me.