[And so it goes. Sypha sticks to Trevor like tiny, willful Speaker glue all day, and even night until she falls asleep in the library.
Alucard? He's back to being distant. He cleans up the supplies for drinking, and then he takes to his wolf form, curled up in a far corner of the castle and waiting until all are asleep. Only then does he slink about the human part of it, mostly in the kitchen to get regular people food.
He is so quiet as he cuts himself a little bit of bread. Some cheese. Nothing more.]
[ Sypha doesn’t give up, just follows him about. She doesn’t even stop trickling blood until it threatens to get onto the books and she finally at least cleans up. And he’s gladder for it than he’d like to admit. Her presence is easier than Alucard’s, even with the awkward situation taken into account.
He just- hates it. Hates that he can’t bring himself to dismiss her, that he’s here wasting something so precious when her brilliant presence could do so much more good. Hates himself for wasting time basking in her presence when he could be doing something worthwhile for the two of them. When he carries her back up from the hold, it’s with armfuls of books from Enid’s collection. Maps. Star and sea charts. Spells. A thick almanac.
The ship holding Carmilla will have to make port somewhere, either for blood or for supplies to feed whatever prisoners are being used to provide blood. If he can figure out where-
He falls asleep in the small hours of the morning into a collection of spells for tracking creatures, in the middle of trying to make sense of them, and wakes up in terror barely an hour later. No sense trying to sleep any more. Food will keep him alert.
[Alucard doesn't meet Trevor's eyes. He doesn't know what Sypha shared, and in truth, it doesn't matter. He'll make his assumptions, Alucard will say none of them are correct, and it'll just be a wedge forever.
Best to just.
No, she's not going to let them walk around it on tip-toes, is she?]
[ He’s been dodging Sypha’s attempt to make him talk about this through all the afternoon and evening. She’s explained and he - understands, at least so far as this being not only voluntary, but Sypha’s idea goes. That was, for obvious reasons, the part that she needed to communicate most urgently.
But - he’s going to have to actually talk about this, isn’t he? ]
...I’m happy for you both. I really am. I was worried, and I don’t think I need to be anymore.
[ Alucard won’t let any harm come to Sypha. Sypha won’t let Alucard hurt any more than he has to. ]
[ He frowns - is Alucard really going to make him say it? That seems- crueler than he thought they were still being with each other. ]
You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
[He's genuinely confused. Moreover, there's no hiding it in his face with how his brow furrows. How it just doesn't sink in until it does, and that dawning of realization puts a look of absolute mortification on the vampire's face. His hands fly up to his mouth, and immediately he shakes his head.]
It's not anything like that. No. Your God, no, Belmont. I don't...I'm not capable of something like that. Besides, I've assumed you would--
She's under the impression that this will make me stop flinching any time one of you two brushes up against me by accident.
[He mutters the words in total embarrassment. Not because it's not working from his perspective, but because the only reason Alucard's going along with it is he feels far, far better after taking blood from her.]
Yes. But you're staying, so why are you putting it all on me?
[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
At that, the vampire's look is flat and so deeply, deeply chagrined.]
A speaker and a half-vampire risk life and limb to spring you from the clutches of men who would have you dead only for you to walk right back into their arms for....why, precisely?
Because people still died. People still lost children. And they don't know about Dracula. Most of them don't believe in him. They just know that an army came from the Belmont estate. I'm- the closest thing to the one who's to blame that they know of.
[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
Thanks. I- for everything. But also for the eggs. Probably best that I make something. Not going to get any more sleep.
[ He stands a more-than-safe distance back from this kitchen's magic fire circles as they light with a pan over them. Those things are terrifying. ]
I know this is hard. I know I'm- difficult. To deal with. If it turns out you need to not deal with me- [ He breaks an egg into the pan and then turns to Alucard, tilting his head to ask if he wants any making for him. ]
-I won't do anything stupid, because of that. I don't want you to- you know. Think you have to put up with me or I'll go throw myself on a pyre.
[Overwhelming. Too much. Whatever it is, Alucard finishes by only shaking his head to show that he lacks words to do much more in terms of articulation.]
I understand the impulse though. It's hard to want to do anything when...
[ He chuckles, adding another egg to the pan. His shoulders rise a little - not defensively, not even enough to come close to his usual well-trained posture, but enough that he doesn't look like a sad, boneless mess. There's humour in him again for now, at least. A little poison drained from old wounds. ]
You'd think it'd get easier, after the job's done. Doesn't fucking seem to work that way, hmm?
[Harder when you're half undead, maybe. Alucard can't say, but at least Trevor looks a hair better. That's probably a life time of work, rearranging all those hairs but...
He doesn't know if that's something to spend a life time doing. Alucard knows how Sypha feels, admittedly.]
Was there anything else very stupid you were going to do that I have to remind you Sypha would disapprove of?
[ He divides the eggs onto plates, sliding one over to Alucard and snatching a little more bread from him in return. He sits, poking at the yolk of an egg with the bread. ]
I'll ask Sypha for help tracking the boat's course once she wakes up. That way she gets a chance to voice how she doesn't want me doing that. Also, I don't know how to track a fucking boat and she probably does.
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[ He really ought to tell her not to let him interrupt them, but it’s hard to say no to Sypha. Just about impossible, actually. ]
Yeah. I’ll- I’ll try.
[ And he does. Try, at least. He heads toward the hold, answering Sypha’s questions with quiet mumbles or words of one syllable. ]
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Alucard? He's back to being distant. He cleans up the supplies for drinking, and then he takes to his wolf form, curled up in a far corner of the castle and waiting until all are asleep. Only then does he slink about the human part of it, mostly in the kitchen to get regular people food.
He is so quiet as he cuts himself a little bit of bread. Some cheese. Nothing more.]
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He just- hates it. Hates that he can’t bring himself to dismiss her, that he’s here wasting something so precious when her brilliant presence could do so much more good. Hates himself for wasting time basking in her presence when he could be doing something worthwhile for the two of them. When he carries her back up from the hold, it’s with armfuls of books from Enid’s collection. Maps. Star and sea charts. Spells. A thick almanac.
The ship holding Carmilla will have to make port somewhere, either for blood or for supplies to feed whatever prisoners are being used to provide blood. If he can figure out where-
He falls asleep in the small hours of the morning into a collection of spells for tracking creatures, in the middle of trying to make sense of them, and wakes up in terror barely an hour later. No sense trying to sleep any more. Food will keep him alert.
Except that the kitchen is occupied. ]
-Oh. I’ll- come back later.
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[Alucard doesn't meet Trevor's eyes. He doesn't know what Sypha shared, and in truth, it doesn't matter. He'll make his assumptions, Alucard will say none of them are correct, and it'll just be a wedge forever.
Best to just.
No, she's not going to let them walk around it on tip-toes, is she?]
....She'll make us talk about it, you know.
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[ He’s been dodging Sypha’s attempt to make him talk about this through all the afternoon and evening. She’s explained and he - understands, at least so far as this being not only voluntary, but Sypha’s idea goes. That was, for obvious reasons, the part that she needed to communicate most urgently.
But - he’s going to have to actually talk about this, isn’t he? ]
...I’m happy for you both. I really am. I was worried, and I don’t think I need to be anymore.
[ Alucard won’t let any harm come to Sypha. Sypha won’t let Alucard hurt any more than he has to. ]
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[Sypha is a force of nature, and they can at least predict her reliably these days. Alucard is quiet. Easier to let Trevor speak and--
--he tilts his head. Of all the things he was expecting, this wasn't it. Mostly because he genuinely has no idea what Trevor's talking about.]
Huh?
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You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
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[He's genuinely confused. Moreover, there's no hiding it in his face with how his brow furrows. How it just doesn't sink in until it does, and that dawning of realization puts a look of absolute mortification on the vampire's face. His hands fly up to his mouth, and immediately he shakes his head.]
It's not anything like that. No. Your God, no, Belmont. I don't...I'm not capable of something like that. Besides, I've assumed you would--
[Nope. This is stupid and he's shutting up.]
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[ Awkward. ]
In that case, I’m- not happy for you? I suppose. I thought that was what she wanted me to talk about. I-
-you’ll still protect her, though? Even if-
[ MORE GESTURING. ‘Even if this is totally platonic neck licking.’ ]
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[He mutters the words in total embarrassment. Not because it's not working from his perspective, but because the only reason Alucard's going along with it is he feels far, far better after taking blood from her.]
Yes. But you're staying, so why are you putting it all on me?
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[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
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[Which is pretty pathetic, all things considered.]
No. You'll stay after. Sypha'll want that. An entire lifetime of your presence.
[Alucard can't offer that. Not in a fulfilling way. Not like Trevor can.]
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[ Shit, he has to explain this, doesn’t he? ]
Still have a trial, remember?
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At that, the vampire's look is flat and so deeply, deeply chagrined.]
A speaker and a half-vampire risk life and limb to spring you from the clutches of men who would have you dead only for you to walk right back into their arms for....why, precisely?
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[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
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[Alucard knows this line of thought more than he's happy to admit. But that means he's the right person to refute it.]
They won't care. The lie of safety won't last. And Sypha will be sad, and I won't be able to help her.
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[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
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[Alucard sighs, and he takes a bite of his bread. There's a pause then, and he tears the piece in half, offering part of it to Trevor.]
There's still vampires out there. Other nasty things. You can still do the work. It probably needs to get done so things don't break further.
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[ The idea of keeping going is terrifying. But then, the idea of making Sypha upset is nearly as bad. He takes the break, nodding in thanks. ]
But Carmilla first, no matter what happens. That's- you ought to feel safe. Truly safe. Even if I can't give it to everyone else.
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[But he nods. He understands what Trevor means. But to have the words to respond to it is beyond him right now.]
There's some eggs if you want protein. Over next to the sink, in the woven wicker basket.
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[ He stands a more-than-safe distance back from this kitchen's magic fire circles as they light with a pan over them. Those things are terrifying. ]
I know this is hard. I know I'm- difficult. To deal with. If it turns out you need to not deal with me- [ He breaks an egg into the pan and then turns to Alucard, tilting his head to ask if he wants any making for him. ]
-I won't do anything stupid, because of that. I don't want you to- you know. Think you have to put up with me or I'll go throw myself on a pyre.
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[Overwhelming. Too much. Whatever it is, Alucard finishes by only shaking his head to show that he lacks words to do much more in terms of articulation.]
I understand the impulse though. It's hard to want to do anything when...
[When the big event is all said and done.]
But for her sake, fight the impulse.
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[ He chuckles, adding another egg to the pan. His shoulders rise a little - not defensively, not even enough to come close to his usual well-trained posture, but enough that he doesn't look like a sad, boneless mess. There's humour in him again for now, at least. A little poison drained from old wounds. ]
You'd think it'd get easier, after the job's done. Doesn't fucking seem to work that way, hmm?
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[Harder when you're half undead, maybe. Alucard can't say, but at least Trevor looks a hair better. That's probably a life time of work, rearranging all those hairs but...
He doesn't know if that's something to spend a life time doing. Alucard knows how Sypha feels, admittedly.]
Was there anything else very stupid you were going to do that I have to remind you Sypha would disapprove of?
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[ He divides the eggs onto plates, sliding one over to Alucard and snatching a little more bread from him in return. He sits, poking at the yolk of an egg with the bread. ]
I'll ask Sypha for help tracking the boat's course once she wakes up. That way she gets a chance to voice how she doesn't want me doing that. Also, I don't know how to track a fucking boat and she probably does.
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time for some EXTREME MOOD WHIPLASH
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