Catch All

[cryptsleeper]

Comments

[miraclewhip]

No. Stay.

[ Of course Alucard uses that as an attempt to escape the conversation. Of course. ]

We're willing to leave, but Sypha won't go until that burn we saw is treated. Let me look at it, I'll tell her you're on the mend and we'll go.

[cryptsleeper]

--Fine.

[This is a trap. It probably is, but whatever gets them to leave at this point. So he can just drown in the new shame and then adjust to the lifetimes of loneliness ahead.

He rolls up one sleeve. The one on the opposite side of what Trevor caught a glimpse of just a few days before. While the skin isn't raw and bleeding anymore, it's still far too fresh.]

Silver. It takes time to heal.

[At no point does he meet Trevor's eyes.]

[miraclewhip]

Well fuck.

[ He's seen worse. He's done worse. But the thought of Alucard being alone here in pain still makes his stomach turn. Any marks from the morning star are gone already, that wasn't on bare skin, and it's a little worrying that this has lasted longer.

He reaches for a small bowl of grey paste. ]

Sit down. My family has a recipe for this.

[cryptsleeper]

--I'll apply it myself. Please.

[He isn't sitting. He isn't moving towards Trevor. But there's a sudden flash of panic in his eyes that make it clear that the problem is being touched. Period.]

[miraclewhip]

[ He pushes the bowl across the table. ]

Blackthorn ash and grave dirt in wine. You get lasting burns like that with consecrated oil coating a weapon, the alcohol in the wine gets rid of anything that remains of that. The rest is for the silver.

Make whatever asshole comments about it you want, just use it.

[cryptsleeper]

[Alucard lets his sleeve fall. Then examines the size of the bowl.]

You'll need to make a second batch. [There. That's how much he'll admit for now.]

This will only cover a part of the problem.

[miraclewhip]

Oh. [ Just how badly did they manage to fuck him up? His face doesn't change, but the tone of his voice does. Just a little. Just a slight tone of concern. ]

Shit, you're lucky Sypha wanted me to go easy on the wine. Apply that while I work. I gathered extra blackthorn for the journey, it shouldn't be too long.

[ After all, they have a nearby source of grave dirt right now. ]

[cryptsleeper]

Catalog number 467. Cross indexed several times over for silver items, restraints, and close-up objects.

[He knows. He's memorized the catalog. He's not thinking about whose gravedirt this is, although there's some poetry involved in it if he thinks too long.]

Did you finish the whole bottle of wine, or should I get more?

[miraclewhip]

Shit, that one was- the wrist rings? The ones you use if some fucker's at your neck?

[ He doesn't really remember the number, but the combination of the things it's indexed under and the condition of the burns is familiar. ]

Yeah, that's treated with chism, so the alcohol's needed.

[ It also means those burns are probably- oh. Both extensive and not limited to parts of Alucard he's necessarily comfortable with them seeing. ]

There'll be enough wine left. Should I- give you privacy, once the next batch is done?

[cryptsleeper]

Mm, that would be the offender.

[The thing is long since destroyed. The index has been updated to reflect that, and that correction had no shame or guilt in destroying an object.

At least Trevor clocks onto what the issue is. Alucard assumes that the why he's refused all touch will come along soon enough.]

I would appreciate that, yes.

[miraclewhip]

I'll knock, before I come back. You put the paste on the burns, then let it dry. Once it does, you can wash it off with cold water.

[ It's a little more complicated to make than the list of ingredients he gave would imply. He's gone for maybe an hour before he knocks on the door of whichever room Alucard has chosen for the task. ]

More medicine. You decent?

[cryptsleeper]

[He's using the bathroom that's nearest the kitchen. It's not made for this kind of work, but Alucard just wants to finish this. Be done. Just let this be enough for Sypha to accept that it's best they leave. Trevor's already managed.]

Yes. Open the door, it's fine.

[When Trevor does, Alucard's just done pulling his shirt on. There's more hints of the scar as it winds around his torso, but nothing more.

There's exhaustion in his eyes though. He's so fucking tired.]

Thank you.

[miraclewhip]

I wrote down the process for making it. It's in the kitchen, with the- me and Sypha. I don't know if the family recipe books survived.

[ He tries not to look at the way the scar coils around Alucard's midsection. Bad sex indeed. ]

We'll be going back to her people for a while. She's- things got rough, while we were on the road. She needs to not be alone, and you want to be alone, so- it's best that we're not here, I suppose. Not until she's had time.

[cryptsleeper]

They're still there. Everything is.

[He's checked it all thrice over now. To make sure that every little thing that can hurt him is under lock and key. Something that'll take a stupid amount of effort to undo.]

I had to move Leon's portrait into the Hold itself. It was taking too much damage from being exposed to the elements. I'm not going down there for a time. I'd genuinely prefer if you take it all back.

[All he does is shrink the longer Trevor talks. He's been a selfish ass. He should have immediately clocked onto Sypha's own screamingly obvious troubles. He doesn't want to be alone, but at this point what else is available and....

...He just wants to close in on himself again. Descending further into the shame pit and never come out.

Eventually he manages something, voice terribly small.]

Her people are probably the best bet for now.

[miraclewhip]

What, you don't like my collection of penis spells?

[ Probably not the time to joke, but what else can he say? Giving the hold to Alucard was a message - not to give up and become a living corpse. That makes returning it a message, too. One he doesn't care for. ]

They are. We- misunderstood. [ They only knew each other for a matter of weeks, after all. Perhaps it was silly to think that they were closer than acquaintances. ] I'm sorry.

[cryptsleeper]

It's a collection of things that can kill me, Trevor. They nearly managed it.

[He's already a living corpse in all the ways that count, so far as Alucard's concerned.

This hurts. It hurts in a new way that's no less awful. There's the tiniest part of the dhampir screaming at him not to let the other two leave. That they're needed but--]

Her needs are more important.

[miraclewhip]

More important than what?

[ Because so far, this has sounded like it's better for everyone. Sypha needs someone who'll be there, someone who's better than him. Alucard needs to be left alone to deal with- this. He needs- god, he doesn't even know any more. Something stronger and less red than wine. ]

You don't- you don't want us to go, do you?

[cryptsleeper]

Everything.

[That's a nice way of avoiding talking further, right? That Sypha comes before every single one of them, because of course that's true. If she's miserable, then what hope do the other two of them have?

The other question? That gets silence. Horrid, ashamed silence that goes on for too long.]

Her needs can't be met if you stay.

[Please don't go.]

[miraclewhip]

That wasn't a fucking answer. You know that wasn't a fucking answer.

[ He sighs. ]

Why have you been telling us that you don't want us here?

[cryptsleeper]

Because neither of you need to deal with myself when you have your own matters to address. I don't see why that's complicated.

[Because you're a hissing skittish idiot, Alucard.]

[miraclewhip]

And before you knew that we had our own shit to deal with?

[ A pause. A long one. Things clicking into place. ]

You just didn't want to give us the chance to leave, did you? And the only not-evil way to do that is to not have us here in the first place.

[cryptsleeper]

Belmont, what do you want me to say, exactly? That you're right? Because you're not, and I refuse to give you that satisfaction. That yes, I want you both here to deal with a hissing, spitting thing that trusts nothing and who will rebuff every attempt to prove my instincts wrong, because the last time I let anyone in here it went the worst possible way it could have because this house is so damned big and lonely?

[He's trying to be angry. He wants to be angry. But it fails. Hard.]

It isn't fair to force either of you to do that.

[miraclewhip]

Yes. That's what I wanted you to say.

[ He moves closer, slowly. Sits down on the edge of the bath, and puts the pot of wine and ash and dirt between himself and Alucard. A barrier. Just a little one. To indicate that he won't come closer. ]

It's- easier. If we know that we aren't hurting you by just being here. We've all been places we're just not wanted, and we don't care for more of it.

[cryptsleeper]

And if I said some of it hurt? What then?

[Because it does. This hurts. All of it. Them being there. Them not being there. Them being there and the stupid fears that come with it.

It shows in the smallest ways. That when Trevor moves closer, Alucard moves closer to the door. To make sure that if he has to move, he can. An exit available at all times.

It doesn't calm him. But it helps.]

[miraclewhip]

Then we figure out what hurts least. For both of you. And work with that. If it hurts everyone less if we go, then we go. We figure out if we should come back, or if it's best that we stay gone. If it hurts less that we stay, then we stay.

[ He follows Alucard's gaze to the door. God, he's scared, isn't he? Of them. That's- he doesn't know how to think about that. ]

Fuck, if it's best that Sypha caves the entire fucking hold in and buries it, that's what we do.