[ There is a dog he can’t pet and this is the worst.
Sypha has a hundred thousand questions, and he talks to her well into the night until he practically falls asleep against her and she declares that they can continue tomorrow. He’s still partially asleep as Alucard leads him through the castle. ]
It’s perfect. I-
[ Look he hasn’t had an actual bed in so long. This is wonderful. ]
-I know this is hard. And I know you’re trying. I- thanks. I appreciate it.
Sypha's in the room there. [He indicates the room on the right.] When she isn't asleep in the library.
[Alucard doesn't specify where he is sleeping. He has a coffin, one of his own, and it's away from Sypha. That's all he needs. The castle tells him if she's awake and needs him.]
A bed is the easiest thing I can give, Belmont.
[The house is big. There's plenty of space.]
Everything else....yes. It is hard. [Sypha's seen the little cracks. The moments where grief takes over, and he curls up into a tiny wolf ball and she has to wait to even try and approach him.
But she never really lets him alone through the worst of it either. Alucard isn't sure how he feels about that, even now.]
[ Sure enough, he sleeps through both breakfast and lunch, and all attempt to wake him are met with exhausted, incoherent grumbling. It’s mid-afternoon when he finally rises, which is shameful.
He drags himself to the library. No doubt at least Sypha will be there, going over some book or another. And then he freezes in the doorway, one hand reaching for a whip that isn’t on his belt right now. The other slowly curls into a fist, short nails cutting into the flesh of his palms. ]
[Alucard sleeps as well, snug in his coffin and too tired from the additional conversations. Sypha's deep, heady talks about theory are often enough. Trying to be nice to the Belmont (and managing!) is something else.
Sypha gives up on waking the Belmont halfway through the day. Alucard murmurs that it's good, he probably needs the rest, and he says not a word more. His own diet needs a little attention.
It works simply: he only takes from Sypha once a month. Every other meal is animal blood from the things in the forest. He gets what he needs, and Sypha's convinced that this is the way to get the vampire used to having other people touch him. Alucard's not entirely sure about that, but he knows that if Sypha touches his hair while he takes from her, he doesn't jump. Not really. Not in any meaningful way.
His fangs aren't in his neck when Trevor walks in on them both. Alucard's tongue is pressed to the bite wounds instead, carefully lapping up the blood that comes out. It is a task that demands concentration, and it's why he doesn't notice Trevor's presence immediately.
Sypha? She does. She tenses, eyes locking on Trevor's.]
We can explain--!
[Only then does Alucard pick his head up, the hand that rests on Sypha's left side immediately moving to apply pressure to the bite.
Almost immediately though, his head hangs low. There's no explanation here. Not a good one, at any rate.]
[ He’s seen vampires feeding before, from people unwilling and compelled into obedience. This isn’t any of those. After the initial shock passes, and the initial shock is a lot, that much is clear enough.
And so this is- fine. It’s fine. Sypha is, as Alucard said before, more than capable of making her own choices. This is fine. Good. He’s happy for them.
The shock passes, and his fists unclench. His shoulders sink, then rise again. ]
It looks- fine. I just spooked, that’s all.
[ He pauses, thinks, and then seems to come to a conclusion. ]
I came to tell you I’d be in the hold. Have work to do there.
[ It’s true. It just became true. They deserve to be happy. There’s one thing he can do to give that to them before he can leave without worrying. ]
[Words fail the vampire. But they don't fail Sypha, who shrugs Alucard's hand from where her shoulder meets her neck. She doesn't even bother to take bandages from the orderly pile next to her.[
I'll go with you! There were a few things there I had questions about, and I can't think of anyone else who can answer them!
[It's clear Sypha won't except anything else but an all right.]
[And so it goes. Sypha sticks to Trevor like tiny, willful Speaker glue all day, and even night until she falls asleep in the library.
Alucard? He's back to being distant. He cleans up the supplies for drinking, and then he takes to his wolf form, curled up in a far corner of the castle and waiting until all are asleep. Only then does he slink about the human part of it, mostly in the kitchen to get regular people food.
He is so quiet as he cuts himself a little bit of bread. Some cheese. Nothing more.]
[ Sypha doesn’t give up, just follows him about. She doesn’t even stop trickling blood until it threatens to get onto the books and she finally at least cleans up. And he’s gladder for it than he’d like to admit. Her presence is easier than Alucard’s, even with the awkward situation taken into account.
He just- hates it. Hates that he can’t bring himself to dismiss her, that he’s here wasting something so precious when her brilliant presence could do so much more good. Hates himself for wasting time basking in her presence when he could be doing something worthwhile for the two of them. When he carries her back up from the hold, it’s with armfuls of books from Enid’s collection. Maps. Star and sea charts. Spells. A thick almanac.
The ship holding Carmilla will have to make port somewhere, either for blood or for supplies to feed whatever prisoners are being used to provide blood. If he can figure out where-
He falls asleep in the small hours of the morning into a collection of spells for tracking creatures, in the middle of trying to make sense of them, and wakes up in terror barely an hour later. No sense trying to sleep any more. Food will keep him alert.
[Alucard doesn't meet Trevor's eyes. He doesn't know what Sypha shared, and in truth, it doesn't matter. He'll make his assumptions, Alucard will say none of them are correct, and it'll just be a wedge forever.
Best to just.
No, she's not going to let them walk around it on tip-toes, is she?]
[ He’s been dodging Sypha’s attempt to make him talk about this through all the afternoon and evening. She’s explained and he - understands, at least so far as this being not only voluntary, but Sypha’s idea goes. That was, for obvious reasons, the part that she needed to communicate most urgently.
But - he’s going to have to actually talk about this, isn’t he? ]
...I’m happy for you both. I really am. I was worried, and I don’t think I need to be anymore.
[ Alucard won’t let any harm come to Sypha. Sypha won’t let Alucard hurt any more than he has to. ]
[ He frowns - is Alucard really going to make him say it? That seems- crueler than he thought they were still being with each other. ]
You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
[He's genuinely confused. Moreover, there's no hiding it in his face with how his brow furrows. How it just doesn't sink in until it does, and that dawning of realization puts a look of absolute mortification on the vampire's face. His hands fly up to his mouth, and immediately he shakes his head.]
It's not anything like that. No. Your God, no, Belmont. I don't...I'm not capable of something like that. Besides, I've assumed you would--
She's under the impression that this will make me stop flinching any time one of you two brushes up against me by accident.
[He mutters the words in total embarrassment. Not because it's not working from his perspective, but because the only reason Alucard's going along with it is he feels far, far better after taking blood from her.]
Yes. But you're staying, so why are you putting it all on me?
[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
At that, the vampire's look is flat and so deeply, deeply chagrined.]
A speaker and a half-vampire risk life and limb to spring you from the clutches of men who would have you dead only for you to walk right back into their arms for....why, precisely?
Because people still died. People still lost children. And they don't know about Dracula. Most of them don't believe in him. They just know that an army came from the Belmont estate. I'm- the closest thing to the one who's to blame that they know of.
[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
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Sypha has a hundred thousand questions, and he talks to her well into the night until he practically falls asleep against her and she declares that they can continue tomorrow. He’s still partially asleep as Alucard leads him through the castle. ]
It’s perfect. I-
[ Look he hasn’t had an actual bed in so long. This is wonderful. ]
-I know this is hard. And I know you’re trying. I- thanks. I appreciate it.
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[Alucard doesn't specify where he is sleeping. He has a coffin, one of his own, and it's away from Sypha. That's all he needs. The castle tells him if she's awake and needs him.]
A bed is the easiest thing I can give, Belmont.
[The house is big. There's plenty of space.]
Everything else....yes. It is hard. [Sypha's seen the little cracks. The moments where grief takes over, and he curls up into a tiny wolf ball and she has to wait to even try and approach him.
But she never really lets him alone through the worst of it either. Alucard isn't sure how he feels about that, even now.]
Do you need anything else?
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[ Sure enough, he sleeps through both breakfast and lunch, and all attempt to wake him are met with exhausted, incoherent grumbling. It’s mid-afternoon when he finally rises, which is shameful.
He drags himself to the library. No doubt at least Sypha will be there, going over some book or another. And then he freezes in the doorway, one hand reaching for a whip that isn’t on his belt right now. The other slowly curls into a fist, short nails cutting into the flesh of his palms. ]
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[Alucard sleeps as well, snug in his coffin and too tired from the additional conversations. Sypha's deep, heady talks about theory are often enough. Trying to be nice to the Belmont (and managing!) is something else.
Sypha gives up on waking the Belmont halfway through the day. Alucard murmurs that it's good, he probably needs the rest, and he says not a word more. His own diet needs a little attention.
It works simply: he only takes from Sypha once a month. Every other meal is animal blood from the things in the forest. He gets what he needs, and Sypha's convinced that this is the way to get the vampire used to having other people touch him. Alucard's not entirely sure about that, but he knows that if Sypha touches his hair while he takes from her, he doesn't jump. Not really. Not in any meaningful way.
His fangs aren't in his neck when Trevor walks in on them both. Alucard's tongue is pressed to the bite wounds instead, carefully lapping up the blood that comes out. It is a task that demands concentration, and it's why he doesn't notice Trevor's presence immediately.
Sypha? She does. She tenses, eyes locking on Trevor's.]
We can explain--!
[Only then does Alucard pick his head up, the hand that rests on Sypha's left side immediately moving to apply pressure to the bite.
Almost immediately though, his head hangs low. There's no explanation here. Not a good one, at any rate.]
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And so this is- fine. It’s fine. Sypha is, as Alucard said before, more than capable of making her own choices. This is fine. Good. He’s happy for them.
The shock passes, and his fists unclench. His shoulders sink, then rise again. ]
It looks- fine. I just spooked, that’s all.
[ He pauses, thinks, and then seems to come to a conclusion. ]
I came to tell you I’d be in the hold. Have work to do there.
[ It’s true. It just became true. They deserve to be happy. There’s one thing he can do to give that to them before he can leave without worrying. ]
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[Words fail the vampire. But they don't fail Sypha, who shrugs Alucard's hand from where her shoulder meets her neck. She doesn't even bother to take bandages from the orderly pile next to her.[
I'll go with you! There were a few things there I had questions about, and I can't think of anyone else who can answer them!
[It's clear Sypha won't except anything else but an all right.]
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[ He really ought to tell her not to let him interrupt them, but it’s hard to say no to Sypha. Just about impossible, actually. ]
Yeah. I’ll- I’ll try.
[ And he does. Try, at least. He heads toward the hold, answering Sypha’s questions with quiet mumbles or words of one syllable. ]
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Alucard? He's back to being distant. He cleans up the supplies for drinking, and then he takes to his wolf form, curled up in a far corner of the castle and waiting until all are asleep. Only then does he slink about the human part of it, mostly in the kitchen to get regular people food.
He is so quiet as he cuts himself a little bit of bread. Some cheese. Nothing more.]
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He just- hates it. Hates that he can’t bring himself to dismiss her, that he’s here wasting something so precious when her brilliant presence could do so much more good. Hates himself for wasting time basking in her presence when he could be doing something worthwhile for the two of them. When he carries her back up from the hold, it’s with armfuls of books from Enid’s collection. Maps. Star and sea charts. Spells. A thick almanac.
The ship holding Carmilla will have to make port somewhere, either for blood or for supplies to feed whatever prisoners are being used to provide blood. If he can figure out where-
He falls asleep in the small hours of the morning into a collection of spells for tracking creatures, in the middle of trying to make sense of them, and wakes up in terror barely an hour later. No sense trying to sleep any more. Food will keep him alert.
Except that the kitchen is occupied. ]
-Oh. I’ll- come back later.
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[Alucard doesn't meet Trevor's eyes. He doesn't know what Sypha shared, and in truth, it doesn't matter. He'll make his assumptions, Alucard will say none of them are correct, and it'll just be a wedge forever.
Best to just.
No, she's not going to let them walk around it on tip-toes, is she?]
....She'll make us talk about it, you know.
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[ He’s been dodging Sypha’s attempt to make him talk about this through all the afternoon and evening. She’s explained and he - understands, at least so far as this being not only voluntary, but Sypha’s idea goes. That was, for obvious reasons, the part that she needed to communicate most urgently.
But - he’s going to have to actually talk about this, isn’t he? ]
...I’m happy for you both. I really am. I was worried, and I don’t think I need to be anymore.
[ Alucard won’t let any harm come to Sypha. Sypha won’t let Alucard hurt any more than he has to. ]
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[Sypha is a force of nature, and they can at least predict her reliably these days. Alucard is quiet. Easier to let Trevor speak and--
--he tilts his head. Of all the things he was expecting, this wasn't it. Mostly because he genuinely has no idea what Trevor's talking about.]
Huh?
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You’re both- [ He gestures helplessly. Sypha didn’t actually define their relationship, and he doesn’t really know what one calls marriage if a church can’t be involved. ] -whatever this is. And that means you’ll take care of each other and-
[ This is difficult. This is so difficult. ]
-and it’s nice, not having to worry if you’ll be okay.
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[He's genuinely confused. Moreover, there's no hiding it in his face with how his brow furrows. How it just doesn't sink in until it does, and that dawning of realization puts a look of absolute mortification on the vampire's face. His hands fly up to his mouth, and immediately he shakes his head.]
It's not anything like that. No. Your God, no, Belmont. I don't...I'm not capable of something like that. Besides, I've assumed you would--
[Nope. This is stupid and he's shutting up.]
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[ Awkward. ]
In that case, I’m- not happy for you? I suppose. I thought that was what she wanted me to talk about. I-
-you’ll still protect her, though? Even if-
[ MORE GESTURING. ‘Even if this is totally platonic neck licking.’ ]
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[He mutters the words in total embarrassment. Not because it's not working from his perspective, but because the only reason Alucard's going along with it is he feels far, far better after taking blood from her.]
Yes. But you're staying, so why are you putting it all on me?
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[ ...a relief, almost. That it’s not just him who Alucard can’t stand. Followed by a rush of guilt, because how fucked up is it to be glad that he’s more messed up than he thought? ]
I’m only staying until Carmilla is dead. And I’ll be leaving again to gather information in order for that to happen, no doubt. I- you know. Don’t want bad shit to happen to the both of you when I’m gone.
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[Which is pretty pathetic, all things considered.]
No. You'll stay after. Sypha'll want that. An entire lifetime of your presence.
[Alucard can't offer that. Not in a fulfilling way. Not like Trevor can.]
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[ Shit, he has to explain this, doesn’t he? ]
Still have a trial, remember?
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At that, the vampire's look is flat and so deeply, deeply chagrined.]
A speaker and a half-vampire risk life and limb to spring you from the clutches of men who would have you dead only for you to walk right back into their arms for....why, precisely?
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[ Because the Belmonts are here so that people don't have to be afraid. So the world can make sense. And sometimes people need something to burn so they don't have to be scared. ]
It'll make them feel safe. Give those who've lost something closure. Keep them from finding someone else to blame.
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[Alucard knows this line of thought more than he's happy to admit. But that means he's the right person to refute it.]
They won't care. The lie of safety won't last. And Sypha will be sad, and I won't be able to help her.
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[ He doesn't know if Alucard's right, but he's willing to acknowledge that he's at least as much of an expert on how bullshit with burnings are as he is. His shoulders slump. It's not like he hasn't been questioning the plan himself, but it's the easiest option. The safest. The one that he can't possibly fuck up.
But it would, in fact, make Sypha sad. ]
-don't know what else to do. Don't like leaving things broken. Don't have any other way to make things better.
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[Alucard sighs, and he takes a bite of his bread. There's a pause then, and he tears the piece in half, offering part of it to Trevor.]
There's still vampires out there. Other nasty things. You can still do the work. It probably needs to get done so things don't break further.
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[ The idea of keeping going is terrifying. But then, the idea of making Sypha upset is nearly as bad. He takes the break, nodding in thanks. ]
But Carmilla first, no matter what happens. That's- you ought to feel safe. Truly safe. Even if I can't give it to everyone else.
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time for some EXTREME MOOD WHIPLASH
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